“Once you get the taste of the real thing there is no going back to what was.”
“Who is he? Is that your new one? The one you replaced me for?” The guy's evident anger is seen all over his face as he followed the girl who hurried her pace to walk away from him.
He equalled the deed and grabbed the girl's wrist. "Is that the him?” He grabbed her to make her face him. “Say it.”
The girl turned her head at him with anger in her face. Her eyes weren't happy looking at the guy. There's the look of being completely done, exhausted with dealing with him. She only stared before her eyes went towards her wrist that were tightly wrapped with the hold of the guy's fingers.
"Let go of me.” She said firmly. Her eyes lingered on her wrist before she moved her head to stare at the him. “Let-me-go.” She uttered. The guy did not moved. He only stared back at the girl acting like he did not heard her request.
Irritated because of his action, the girl forcely removed her wrist from being held. She made uses of her other hand freely. Making a few slaps on the boy's arm, she tugged her wrist away. She turned her back without saying anything.
“Don't you dare follow me.” She whispered still feeling his stare digging graves on her back. She suddenly turned her head. “Or I will report you to the police this time.” She stated at him before she hurriedly walked away.
My boyfriend. There were lots of limitations I've endured because of him trying to limit me. I fight thought that what we have is some sort of binding. I felt that we were magically tied to each other. Little did I know that what we had is some sort of karmic binding of suffering. I thought the union was made by the Universe that we were united to be with each other to make each other's lives magical.
With him I first saw the arc of spectral colors. I feel like it's each to reach for rainbows with him by my side. The attraction was like a strong pull. I now realize that now discernment is really important when it comes to attraction. I never thought that I will call us having to be magnetically tied with the toxic attraction.
“Where are you going?”
Here we go again. He's always been so constant in asking me about where I am going.
“Didn't I tell you already? I'm going to watch the band.” This is quite draining.
I see how he's eyes went dark. He stared at me with a glare in his eyes. The corners of jaws were clenching. He's angry.
“I'm going.” I said.
He pulled my hand. The grip was tight and I stared at it. This skin of mine will reddish once he let go of his grip on it.
“You're not going alone. I'll go with you.” He tore his eyes off and looked away.
I glared at him. No wonder he's wearing his leather jacket and his black ripped jeans tonight. I thought he'll just dropped the pizza he ordered. I should have known it was his excuse.
He let go of my hand before his hands went to take off his jackets. His body turned towards facing me before he put it to cover my shoulders.
“That will do.” He stared at me before he wrapped his hand on the door knob to twist it. He stopped twisting it. He looked at me.
I watched his movement. I feel scared on the intensity I saw in his eyes. I'm afraid on what he'll do next. I couldn't watch the band. I cannot go party with my friends during evenings because he wouldn't not let me go without him. I wore my makeup but I was surprised when he went to my desk and opened my drawer. He got some wet wipes, he opened the plastic box of wet wipes before he walked back towards me. He wipe the tint on my cheeks then his eyes went towards my lips. I'm not sure whether what I am truly feeling when I stared at him. I waited on what he'll do. I stilled when he ran his fingers down my lips before wiping the stain off of it. He said something nasty about guys. I hated his whispered that I swatted his hands of my lips and starched the wet wipes out of his fingers and finish wiping the color off my lips with it.
There are many more things that continued to happen, that involved this boyfriend of mine.
My breat hitched for a bit. I went shopping with my friends. I can sense something is wrong. Someone is following us.
“Karin.” Diane tugged the hem of my cardigan.
I looked at her, distracted. It's because I was thinking that there's something wrong. I kept looking back, turning my head to look because I wanted to know if someone is indeed following us.
“What's wrong?” Tina looked my way. She looked at me worriedly.
I shrugged my head instead. “Don't mind me.”
Tina had a lingering stare. She scanned her eyes at me before she turned her had and started to walk. I urged Diane to started walking too. I purposely walked lamely behind them. We all walk, I was following before someone pulled my hand. It was abrupt until I found myself being sandwich, my back on the wall and in front of me is a guy with the hoodie covering his head. Upon seeing I immediately know that I was right that someone is following us, me. My body is still pinned on the hollow space of the alleyway.
“You were following us?” I asked my boyfriend. He's been following us. “And you chose to follow me like that? Like a creepy stalking, Ethan?” I raised my voice at him. I couldn't help it.
“You're getting...” Shaking my head I said. “This is not good Ethan. This is not good.” I whispered my utterance lowly.
There were lots of instances that I ignored the flag that was flagging in front of my face, the red flags of my boyfriend that I once thought were just normal things.
His constant questions on where will I go with my friends and my answers that were always been the same because I was reminding him that I already told him that but he still continued to bother himself about it.
I once smiled before of the joke from a blockmate only to see his head flunged because my boyfriend showed up and threw a punch at my blockmate who is from the opposite gender as mine. His punch strucked the guy harshly. He punced towards Alex and beat him with his fists.
We had a fight after that. I got mad at him, he was mad too that he accidentally threw a hand across my face and accidentally push me that I fell down the floor.A memory flashed about the domestic abuse I saw with my own two eyes when I was younger. The beating thing, the slaps that were received by my mother. The punch that was landed on the head that is when the fear slowly crept in.
I sat there in shock that I couldn't move myself. I stared at him and I couldn't believe what had jsur happened. I saw how he was also in the state of shock at the sudden turn of his behavior. He went down and hugged me. He was hugging me, whispering his apologies to me. While I couldn't processed a thing.
A sardonic smile came from me before my laughter came out. What an irony of things! I'm glad I was able to end things. The fear made me stopped our relationship. I got the taste of what he can do. The fear served as my saving grace. It made me feel bad. Really bad. I will not let it happen further. He needs to stop too. I had to end things before it will be too late to escape. I had to end things before something much worst happen. He needs to accept that what we have already ended. I had a taste that made me think of the worst possibilities of what he's capable of and I will not go back to what was.