Some time ago it felt terrible. I can only see myself so pathetic. For a moment I felt annoyed about that. It's just that there are several other things that are quite troublesome. Even though at the same time I was annoyed by the complicated situation, I almost lost myself. Not long after that I felt calm again and was no longer in trouble. Today was a pretty good start for me. Some of the things I've been through feel so light. When I looked back, my mind was confused again. As if that actually indicates something else is coming. Right now I'm right in a pretty beautiful place. As I thought before, now I feel a little calm. Unfortunately, as soon as my mind was at peace, suddenly I saw several people coming in front of me. These two people started to look at me in quite a scary light. I can only avoid it. I quickly left. Never again do I want to deal with them. I ran quickly as if I was being chased by a ghost. When I arrived at a busy place, now I tried to mingle with the people there and it turned out that the people who previously looked suspicious no longer bothered me. I feel very peaceful. It doesn't stop there, I don't know why it's suddenly like this. I felt pounding as if showing trauma. Not long after that I decided to look for the nearest cafe and then rest for a while. Once I found the place, I was happy. And now I'm here with a cool atmosphere. The peace that I really like makes me even happier. This time I accompanied it with vanilla latte and my favorite strawberry cake. While enjoying my alone time, I feel like this is part of my life. I also saw several views here which were beautiful enough to just look at.
“Now I feel at peace,” I muttered.
Meanwhile, right now in a different place. Campus friends who appeared to be meeting with several groups of people. They seemed to be discussing something. Not only that, one of them also seemed to be trying to attract attention. There was one woman who came to this place. This person initially seemed happy until as time passed he seemed to feel uncomfortable. The expression shown also shows it all. Not long after that, the woman left and one of them also noticed this. Quickly follow the steps of the woman earlier.
“You're just going to leave?” Asked a woman who followed from behind.
"What?"
“I asked you to just leave like that? Why do you insist?”
"That is none of your business."
“Holy shit. Did you just say that to me?"
"So what? "You suddenly followed me and asked something strange, of course it annoyed me," said the woman and didn't stop walking.
"If you don't agree, why don't you just say so?"
“It's pointless.”
“It turns out you really don't agree. I already guessed."
“Oh yeah, instead of you coming at me like this, wouldn't it be better if you just sat there and listened to everything? "That's enough to make your reputation good," said the woman, which made the person immediately fall silent.
Meanwhile, right now I'm still in the same place. The few times I watched it, I felt a little calm again. It didn't take long for me to lament why I was even here. Once again I saw a fact that was quite suffocating, sometimes I wanted to vomit. After that I thought again that maybe this was what should have happened. At the same time I wanted to go. When I decided to get up from where I was sitting, I was a little stuck because I remembered something that happened before. Not only that, even now it feels as if it is still there before my eyes. I repeatedly convinced myself that it was all over. It's just that everything always fails. This time it felt the same. After I looked again, I again questioned whether there was something wrong with me or something. For a moment I felt that it was really real. After this I tried to calm myself. There are several things that apparently happened. It's as if it's stuck in my head and won't go away. Several times I got fed up. At almost the same time, I also got a message from Eliza saying that I was now at the place I had previously talked about. I was happy with the news from Eliza.
"It turns out the child is fine," I muttered.
This time I am even more convinced that everything will be fine no matter what. Until it feels like I no longer need to worry. Unlike what happened not long ago, I really feel happy about it. For a moment I thought that maybe I could also get out of this zone that kept binding my feet. I just wanted something new. It turns out it was only in my head and not in my reality. I quickly decided to move on and was now on my way. The days were filled with several strange and sudden events that surprised me. But, I feel a little uneasy. Don't know why it feels like it suddenly came. At first I just felt happy and then slowly I became less enthusiastic again. Until where I live. Questions like that often pop up in my head. Strangely enough, it's still the same now. How many times have I done this? I don't know how much I don't want to count it. The bright sky didn't seem to support me. Many times I also felt uncomfortable. With a sigh, I felt like I was back in that dark abyss again and didn't know when I would come back.
"Hey?" Someone asked me while tapping my shoulder and it surprised me. When I looked, it turned out it was my college friend.
“Oh, you just surprised me.”
"Excuse me. Because I saw you here alone, of course it made me a little curious. What are you doing?"
"Ah, I'm just enjoying the fresh air."
“I see. How about your activities?"
"Nothing is different. How about you?"
“I'm the same way. By the way, you don't intend to join that group?"
"Oh yeah, I forgot that I didn't register."
“I understand that you are not interested. Honestly, I'm the same way."
"Wow, it turns out I'm not alone," I muttered while smiling brightly.
Again I felt uncomfortable. This is not normal. When everything felt so meaningful, there was one thing that was quite annoying. For a moment I thought maybe it was just me. However, as I thought about it more, it turned out to be different. This time I felt something strange again. As if it was constantly around me and bothering me many times over. I walked slowly and not long after I saw something that made me confused. Something I never thought about at all and now I see it with my own eyes. Suddenly it made me feel surprised and I quickly ran to avoid problems that might involve me. Finally I was no longer in that zone and then looked around. This is really strange. How could it not be, I, who once stood up straight, can now only kneel because I don't know how to look at this unreasonable reality. Time goes by, it's strange that I live life like this for a long time. Even though I realized that this was really annoying, at the same time I couldn't help but sigh. It's so hard to keep imagining it. This morning I started my day again as usual. I went to campus and met other friends. A seemingly normal situation. To think I could get through this so easily. This time I thought about just doing some things that I haven't done for a long time. After class, I went with my other friends somewhere and here we ate together. There was a lot to talk about. Starting from assignment problems and even random things. When I arrived near my apartment, it felt different. I really feel empty. My life turns out to be limited to this. I thought it might be more interesting and fun. It turns out I was too greedy to wait for something like that in the midst of me continuing to curse the situation. Arriving at the apartment, I sat down holding my forehead which continued to throb. As if something really big might be waiting for me. Slowly I can't do this anymore. But, every once in a while I also reflect on myself that if I stopped maybe everything would go wrong. Once again I fell into deep thoughts. Imagining the problems that keep coming and don't know how long they will be near me. When I checked my phone, it was quite quiet. Even class groups don't get notifications. This is indeed funny. I felt like my life had just stopped. I slowly lay down on my bed and still felt a little tired. Not long after that, my cell phone rang. I immediately checked and it turned out it was a call from my friend.
"Hello?"
"Hello. How are you?"
“Ah, about that. I think it's pretty good. How about you?"
“It seems like I'm the same way. Oh yeah, there's something I want to talk about.”
"What's that?"
“I don't know if you will believe it or not. But I feel that now everyone has changed.”
"What do you mean? Changed because of what?”
"To be clear, I'm still confused. It's just my guess that they hate us even more."
“What are you talking about? I don't see any hatred at all.”
“That's what I saw. I just wanted to tell you that you should be careful.” Not long after that the call ended.