Things are starting to get complicated. This time I really couldn't handle it all. Many things also happened to Yuki. Here I just heard all the complaints that Yuki said. There are many things that I don't understand until now. Even now I feel that everything is almost unavoidable. Of all that, the worst thing is how to deal with myself that I hate. Every time I see another corner of the world, I feel that it is indeed very different. Now I also realize that it's not just one problem that exists. I feel like the world is not a fair place for people. Yuki continues to tell what has happened so far. I also know that Yuki is in trouble. I didn't expect it to be this fast. The blue sky that I see now still feels empty. As if there was something wrong. It's all the same. There's nothing I can hope for. Surprisingly, there are still many people where they are and continue to depend on hope for their lives. I really can't understand what's in their heads. I just knew that now is not the time to keep thinking about unnecessary things. I just have to be in the zone where I really want to be. Even though I feel scared. And the timeline also shows the same thing. This is a bit entertaining. Three days ago I went back to painting some of the images I imagined in my dreams. I remembered the last time I had a dream. If it turns out there are many things in it that make me even more curious. The colors I saw and even other strange things continued to stick in my memory even after I woke up. There is nothing I can do about all of that and what I can do is paint and immortalize it in a work that should be of artistic value. I really don't feel like myself. Because when I made the painting I still remembered that everything wasn't real. It was just a dream, shadowy memories that appeared in my head while sleeping. Now we were walking around again and Yuki started saying something.
"So far I still can't forget the old memories," said Yuki.
"Memory?"
"Yes. School days where there was only fun. In fact, I feel trapped in that era. I thought something new would come out and make me feel happy. Turns out I was wrong.”
“Everyone definitely remembers the beautiful times in their life. It's just that I don't know what they think is beautiful and unforgettable. But I never remember any.”
"Are you serious?"
"Yes I am serious. You might not believe it.”
"Correct. I doubt what you just said. Maybe you don't want to admit it."
“I don't think it's like that.”
Again I keep messing things up. I feel that now I am truly in my own world. It's as if I don't have anything to focus on. I'm also starting to feel uncomfortable with my condition like this. I only have my work and it is very valuable. There is nothing more valuable than that. The longer I'm here, the more I feel like I'm not just myself. People are also very hypocritical. I hope that what I do can make me happy. Seeing Yuki, I realized that there was still hope, even though the possibility was small. Tokyo always has many mysteries. I felt like a detective trying to find the most valuable treasure in this world.
“I think you're right,” I said to Yuki.
Once again I feel bad about the current situation. Until there is something else that is really annoying. From wherever I am now I feel that this world is quite strange. No problem just comes. I feel like it's not common or anything like that. I feel like there's something behind all that. I'm also willing to bet on anything available. This time it really sucks. From any direction I couldn't find anything I was looking for. Until that moment I felt that something was missing and continued to feel that way. Strange things happen often. Now the two of us arrived at a cafe and enjoyed sweet food. This time I felt pretty good. Yuki said many things and it impressed me. Even if something goes wrong, I keep wondering whether everything will be okay or not. I was faced with a world that I really didn't understand. I feel like people are stupid. They believe in other people's instigations which are not necessarily true. The fact that they are stupid cannot be avoided. This was proven when Ayakan got into a scandal which clearly was all the work of other people who hated Ayaka. When I first saw that, I felt sorry for them. People who are easily manipulated and continue to live like that. Yuki also said that there were several people who had been bothering me lately. They seem to act like fans even though they are crazy people. Constantly monitoring Yuki's movements and it was really stressful. They are the same as criminals in general. This time I also agree with Yuki's opinion that people like that shouldn't live in this world. His presence only becomes a nuisance and continues to destroy peace. I don't want to live in a scary zone like that. Yuki also gave me very useful advice so far.
"If you think about it, they came because they wanted something," said Yuki with confidence.
"What do they want to do such annoying actions?"
"I don't know. What's clear is that it's not just because you're bored. But there is something they are after. I can't imagine how terrible it is.”
"You know Ayaka?"
"I know."
"I think the incident is almost similar to what happened to Ayaka."
"What? So the scandal was the work of a stalker?"
"Correct. That bastard spreads baseless rumors. It was terrible.”
“At this rate, I don't think I want to be famous.”
"Do not say like that. You have to shine. Be confident.”
“But the consequences are also very big. You know that, right?"
"You are right. It can't be helped that it's a fact.
I was a little against Yuki's desire not to stand out. That was because such words sounded as if he had given up. I really hate people who have that kind of mentality. Whatever the situation, you shouldn't just give up. After we finished talking, at this time I decided to go somewhere. My intention to find inspiration has now been fulfilled. I have to go back immediately and then finish all my work that I put off. My conversation with Yuki instantly opened my eyes to this world. Even though I think it's impossible, it will just slip away when it's all over.
“I wonder how everything will end,” I muttered.