The contents of my diary are now a mess. I think it's time for me to make peace with myself. It's just writing that I shouldn't have written. Until I feel like I'm at the point of exhaustion and it's strange that I have to do anything. When everything feels heavy, I hope to myself that this crazy world must change. Different from what I expected, I feel this world is very annoying. Nothing else makes me feel that much better. Many people are also crazy and until now everything is a mess. They don't even want to do better and instead just continue like that. I have seen many cases and all of them are very terrible. I felt like the world had collapsed. Even now it feels the same. I'm really fed up. I didn't expect anything from all this. It gets crazier over time. At that time, the luxury I longed for became even more tempting. I feel like I'm now on the verge of confusion. All this is because of existing problems. As time goes on, I can no longer hold it all in. I was under a very scary subconscious. I feel like the world really sucks. This time I didn't have to do much or even just hope. Because there is no point in hoping in the world. Even though I felt like my thoughts had gone too far, I could no longer restrain myself. Up to where I am, it's all because of people who keep making noise. Until I couldn't find any peace. I'm dealing with all of this. In fact, there are many more problems. Right now I want to end all this immediately. The life I wanted seemed to be only limited to my imagination. I don't know, I'm very annoyed with all this. At the same time I almost felt crazy. Meanwhile, right now I don't know how to face all of this anymore. Solitude or independence, is that really what everyone wants or not because they are forced to? Lately I've been in a pretty extreme zone. I feel like the world really can't cooperate with me anymore. This time I just stayed silent and tried to calm myself. After that, I also tried to continue living my life, which was considered very strange. I almost felt burdened by it all, to the point where I didn't realize that all of this just happened. I feel this is very troublesome. There are no good times ahead of me right now and that is the reality. I don't want to stay here anymore. It's very annoying for someone like me who really wants a peaceful life.
“Man, this is crazy. How long will those humans stop babbling?” Said I, who was already annoyed when I heard the people living in the apartment next door kept making noise.
After that I decided to go out for a while. Not long after that I watched several people exercising and I kept noticing that they were very happy. Once again I was impressed by this group of people who continued to feel happy even in a situation like this. Some time ago this apartment building was shocked by the news that someone had been hit by violence. Many people were shocked by this and it made the situation chaotic. It's not surprising that some people are still talking about it.
'What should I do now?' I muttered to myself.
There are many things that make me feel a little out of sorts. Because everything always annoys me. For a moment I also thought the same thing. At this point, I also know that all of this cannot be avoided just like that. I don't know myself anymore. Almost the same as usual, I can't help but feel a little crazy. Even though things are different now, I'm still not used to it. Life is really crazy compared to others. Even though I really heard some words from other people and they started talking about things that made me very frustrated. Meanwhile, right now Lucy is sitting alone. Not long after that, Lucy saw a beautiful view this morning. There were several things that made Lucy quite entertained. The beautiful view makes it even more beautiful. While everyone is busy with their own affairs, Lucy also feels the same way and is now carrying out Lucy's daily activities. There are also some who are not in this condition and it has become a habit. Lucy also often looked at her cell phone because she was waiting for someone to contact Lucy. Strangely, until now there is still no news from that person. One day earlier, Lucy had met someone she had just met. That person chatted with Lucy for a long time. After that the two of them started talking about many things together. Not only that, the two of them also discussed other things which were quite fun. That person was none other than a quite attractive young man. Lucy was still monitoring the cell phone and soon Lucy just ignored it. It may not be as imagined. Lucy slowly also sighed. All this is really confusing. Lucy got up from the seat and then went somewhere else. Time continues to pass. I may continue to be trapped in my current condition. I find this very annoying. I feel like I'm going crazy. But, when I look again, the conditions are not supportive. I'm so annoyed by this kind of thing. I imagine myself having been here this far and always feeling strangely unhappy. Someone once told me to get away from situations like this and I agree with that opinion. Many things are terrible and I really have to go further to leave. When I feel bored there is only one thing to do. It was none other than a vacation.
“Oh, Maya?” Someone said to me.
“Hi, Ayaka.”
"What are you doing here so early in the morning?"
“Ah, I'm just looking for fresh air. Where are you going yourself?"
“I want to go to the minimarket. What a coincidence we met. Oh yeah, how are you?”
"Pretty good. How about you?"
"Yes. Me, too. By the way, what have you been busy with lately?"
“I go to college and sometimes make paintings. That's just what I usually do. How about you?"
“I'm still the same. Nothing is different."
"About the scandal... Are you okay?"
"Yes. I'm fine. Honestly, that time was terrible. I even went to a psychiatrist to recover. I think the hose is different. Don't worry."