Right now I'm on the verge of anxiety. Every time I feel uneasy. It turns out it's true that all this time I really couldn't control myself. Everything changed in such a short time. I hope to myself that this will all end by itself. But in reality, all of that is in vain. Several times I felt uncomfortable and continued like that. I'm always on the verge of despair. As long as it takes a lot of time, I hope and keep hoping. It turned out that everything was never what I wanted. Lately I've been wanting myself to be in a more sparkling light. Instantly I steadied myself. After repeatedly feeling disappointed with all of this, in the end I tried to accept myself. The painting before it completely died, until now I am the dying me. I always imagined that everything I was doing was right, and it turned out that it was all useless. I'm on the verge of collapse. Words that often come to my mind, but when I think about them, they seem to be true. I was getting crazier about myself and it turns out when I look back it feels the same. Every time I imagine everything, it only hurts me more. I always don't feel happy. This time I looked in the mirror at myself, who really looked messy. After that I returned with my strong desire to finish just one of my works. I tried to stand up and walked towards my work room. As soon as I entered the room, apparently all I saw were old things that really made me feel bored. I feel like all of this is just on the threshold of me. A life that continues to torment me and many other problems. I feel uncomfortable with all this. Sometimes I cry under the silence of the night and continue to shed tears profusely. I feel like the world is never fair. Even though I want something, why does everything feel so difficult. The question kept repeating itself in my head and is still the same now.
"Good grief. My head hurts so much," I muttered.
Meanwhile, right now in a corner room of the hospital. Someone had just entered the room. Not long after that, the petite body of the girl was seen standing while continuing to look at the patient who was lying there weakly. The person was trying to say something. There was nothing to worry about, the heartbeat continued beating and after that the patient glanced at the girl with a gentle gaze. The girl then tried to express something. The patient immediately began to change positions to sit on the bed and was eager to hear something that came out of the girl's mouth.
“You want to say something? Just say it," said the patient.
"Do you feel guilty?"
"What? Your question is very strange.”
“Shouldn't you apologize to that person? What you have done is all very shameful.”
"What do you actually want?"
"I just want to make sure you are really guilty. But it turns out you actually enjoy my pain like this. Isn't that strange?”
"Honestly, I don't understand what you mean by that."
"What? You're still pretending to forget it turns out. If I were you, I should bear the shame of plagiarizing Maya's artwork."
"Ah, it turns out you want to discuss that, huh," said the patient with a different look from before.
Right now I'm in the room I usually use to calm down. Several things have happened here. I feel like my world is very scary. Nothing changes even as time passes. I sometimes get frustrated with all of that. A reality that continues to feel bitter until I don't want to swallow it. At the same time, I also feel that this is all pointless. I hoped for myself and in the end everything was just an illusion. Sometimes all of that makes me feel different every day. I always feel like everything is not okay. At that moment I couldn't deny it. For one second I tried to do it, in the end it was all just a dream. Immediately I felt this was very unfair. Some of my hidden desires actually haunt me. I feel like my world has really gone crazy. Today I plan to make some more works as usual. But I don't know where to start. Everything feels heavy. Strangely, I suddenly started shaking. Even though it's not usually like this. I can't control myself either. I hope for myself to get through this kind of thing. It's all very unreasonable. I did it over and over again, and it turned out to be true. I was just silent for a moment. To the point where I feel like my world is very small, there I can't do many things. Everything that has happened, no matter what, doesn't make sense. I actually feel like the world has only been playing with me. This is indeed unfair. I hope everything is fine. Even though I want to return to the atmosphere that I really miss. The atmosphere is beautiful and will never be replaced. The bustling Tokyo as usual is now just a sight that doesn't really attract my attention. I feel like everything is really bad at the moment. Everything can't be controlled, even one important thing feels very heavy. I really want to get away from this crazy situation.
"Unlucky. Why do I always think about things that don't make sense like this?" I muttered.
Meanwhile, Ayaka, who looks busy for a long time, continues to take photos. This isn't the first time Ayaka has done work like this. Until the moment everything feels normal. Instantly Ayaka also remembered that there were several things that really disturbed her mind. At night. Ayaka intends to go somewhere. And it turns out to be true. This time Ayaka went to a bar which was close to several shops owned by Ayaka's friends. There, Ayaka was just silent while accompanied by a drink. The calm atmosphere made Ayaka feel at peace.
"You don't usually come here," said someone and then that person sat right next to Ayaka. That person is none other than a model too. Named Kazura.
"Just visiting. You don't seem like a regular customer of this place either.”
“Ah, you're right. I think we have the same thoughts.”
"What do you mean?"
"You know Maya?"
"Yes. I know. Why suddenly ask that person?”
“Just want to know how the woman is now? Do you know?" Kazura said as if trying to dig up information.
"I don't know," said Ayaka with a sigh.
“To be honest, there are a lot of facts that I think don't make sense. I think that kid can handle it all.”
"What are you talking about?"