Ayaka is still thinking about what happened at this time. Everything seemed to come in succession. The look on her face that was no longer the same made Ayaka believe that now was not the time to just stay in this place. Sometimes there are things that hurt more. Strangely enough, all of them came before Ayaka one by one. Even though there are some things that are really annoying, there are not many things that really make Ayaka feel frustrated about this. Not long after that, Ayaka sighed again as if she was feeling regret. Sometimes things like this just come quickly. Nothing different from that. In fact, it only adds to the injury. At the same time, I also feel that this world is quite strange. When I saw it with my own eyes, I felt like I couldn't imagine many things that happened. Even though I put it in a painting, it still feels strange. Until now, I feel the same way. When I woke up from my sleep, my head was so dizzy that I almost fell. Suddenly something like this came to me. It would be strange if I just kept quiet. I quickly took the medicine that was in the drawer near my bed. Now I feel much better than before. Sometimes things like this are like my morning meal. I felt something was different. Don't know why this really drives me crazy. I felt like the world was starting to fall apart. To the point where I feel as if all of this has its time. When I opened my eyes again, it felt the same. I hope to myself that someday there will be a miracle. But again I can only express all that in my work. I felt like a fool for continuing to hope for things that made me feel completely uncomfortable. It's a kind of feeling of endless fear. I get goosebumps when I realize something like this. But I don't know why I'm like other people.
"Why? Am I crazy?” I muttered to myself.
I slowly looked in the mirror. Instantly I felt relieved again because this was just my feeling. Nothing bad happened. I also thought that maybe there was something wrong with me. But even so, doesn't it feel strange to always blame myself? As if nothing could make more sense than that. I walked slowly to get my cell phone. I quickly dialed Ayaka's number. I feel like the woman has enough time now and might want to leave just to find peace. At that time I went with Ayaka to the sauna and talked a lot.
"Hello?"
“Hello, Maya. What a coincidence you called."
“Ah, I actually have something to say.”
"Oh, then you go ahead. What do you want to say?”
"Are you still on holiday now?"
"Correct. For the next week I'm on holiday. There isn't any schedule. Why?"
“I want to go to the temple. You know a lot about that. How about you help me a little?”
"Oh of course. I'll come along. Which temple do you want to go to?"
“Just in Kyoto.”
"Okay. By the way, there is also something else I want to tell you."
"What's that?"
“I heard that the artist who has been looking for a long time has finally appeared again. What do you think?"
"What are you saying?"
I still can't believe what I just heard. It seemed impossible that that person would appear. Suddenly I thought of one thing. At the same time, I feel that now everything has changed. There's nothing more fun than that. In fact, what I saw was terrifying. I also can't stop thinking about this. To the point where I feel that if only I weren't in this terrible zone, I think my life would be much better. At the same time, I feel like this is like hell. I almost forgot about myself. That's why I'm so annoyed. Ayaka is still talking about that artist. Sometimes I feel tight. Don't know why it feels like a nightmare. However, I have to try to stay calm. Strangely, feelings like that only increased. I became increasingly anxious. When what I hoped for disappeared, I felt like the world had collapsed. Even though there are some things that feel strange, I don't want to know about them at all. I also want everything to end quickly without anything more troublesome. Now even forever. I hope so. Ayaka then asked me something which made me immediately surprised when I heard it.
"Are you sure you're okay Maya?" Ayaka asked me.
“Ah, that... I guess I've been really messed up lately.”
"Good grief. No wonder you want to go to the temple. By the way, what about your work?"
“What what?”
“You made a new one?”
"Yes. This is also still in the finalization stage. Then, what about yourself? Would it be okay for you to just stay put and then follow me?”
"Yes. I guess I don't mind. Besides, I haven't been away for a long time. I feel like I miss myself being full of freedom. But, that will never change the fact that I also want this life now.”
"Yes. That is fair thing."
“To be honest, I'm not sure about myself. Strangely I feel like the world is always not on my side. I wonder why?"
"What do you mean? Isn't everything fine?”
"Yes. But sometimes it's really bad too.”
"I don't know. I think that's the universe's way of testing humans. It's strange indeed. Entering into darkness and continuing to get deeper."
"You are right. I also think this is crazy. But I also felt that this was just an illusion. It's actually not that bad.”
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Of course. Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?”
"No. More precisely, very ridiculous. I thought you would curse. It turned out to be the opposite.”
“I'm tired of cursing things like that.”
"Certainly."
I don't fully understand the universe. There are just a few things that I think really don't make sense. I feel like the world is getting worse for me. But looking back, I also had to try to overcome all of this. I find this strange and very unreasonable. I just hope and keep hoping even though everything doesn't always go well. Now I'm on the move and will be ready to leave as soon as this call ends. This time I felt a stronger urge from my subconscious. As time goes by I feel more confident that this will work out the way I want.