Today. Since I opened my eyes, that's when I saw lots of busy morning views. The atmosphere is the same as usual. This time I walked towards the dining room. Arriving at the room, I sat opposite my friend Ella. This person was used to waking up early and then coming to help others until finally sitting waiting in this room. To be honest, when I think back, I feel like I saw something that looked different. Every month there are always new children who come here. At first I just thought that everyone here was from here too. Since then I have started to open up about my thoughts. Ella then offered me bread and I was really happy. After a few times I couldn't eat high carbohydrate foods, because my stomach felt uncomfortable afterwards. At this time, I was fine and then returned to normal. After finishing breakfast, we went to the room where there were several lessons that we had to receive. At that time, I and the others felt a little happy with the current material. Unlike usual, this time I was a little sleepy and then I tried to stay awake until the material was finished. We always take this class even on Sundays. I've been imagining the outside world for a long time. I feel like my life now really doesn't know anything about what's out there. I slowly took a deep breath and after that I went back to imagining the beauty of this world which was said to be so vast. Someone once told me the same thing and that person also had the ambition to see everything. Unfortunately, all of that never happened because the person immediately lay sick for a long time. Even now, the person is in the health room and doesn't know how long he will have to stay there. I already knew that maybe it was just wishful thinking. When I returned to my room, at this time I opened one of the boxes that was on my desk. I slowly opened it and then found something. I remember when I was little I carried this star necklace and even now I still keep it. I don't remember why this thing came to me and now I just keep it. After that, I took my novel and then just read it briefly. After I finished reading, suddenly I heard a voice calling my name at the door of my room. I quickly moved and then opened the door. It turned out that the one who called me was Ella. From his expression, he looked tired.
“Isabella, oh my. "Why did you take so long to open the door," said Ella.
“Oh, sorry. I thought who it was. You are okay? You seem tired."
"Yes. I am very tired. Do you know why?”
"No?"
“Ah, that's right. Earlier I just watered all the flowers in the back yard and after that I had to clean up all the books in the library room. That's so annoying.”
“I see. That must be tiring.”
"You are right. that's why I came here."
“But, why do you have to complete all the tasks? shouldn't the caretaker nurse do it?”
“That's because the nurse told me to help. Even though I don't want to do it."
“Ah, so you had to do it.”
"Correct. that's so annoying.”
"You can't say things like that, we should thank them for taking care of us even now."
“You're probably right. but I do not want to."
"Well that's that then. If you don't want to, you just have to refuse, right?"
"How could I possibly do that? Geez, wouldn't it just be a punishment if you did that?”
"Punishment? I've never heard of punishment. I think the nurse said something like that just to scare us all.”
"What? How can you think like that?”
"Who knows. I think my mouth just automatically said that.”
"Yes. that's quite reasonable. Oh yeah, what are your plans today?"
After I think back on what I said, it seems true. All this time, I didn't know anything and just thought but didn't do it. As Ella said just now, it would be impossible for everyone to refuse so easily. This time I just felt something unusual. My chest feels like it's moving to do something but on the other hand I don't want to do it. Seeing Ella constantly complaining and now I'm almost going crazy hearing her endless complaints immediately made me doubt. Usually I'm not like this and I don't know why I feel quite guilty even though I actually didn't do anything wrong. Today, I feel quite happy because I have achieved several achievements. I and other friends made flower arrangements and they also looked very enthusiastic. After I made the most, I got praise because I wasn't as diligent as usual. Usually I only make the standard ones and now I make a lot of them. This flower arrangement will be sold to people who order online and that then becomes added value for those of us who do it. I always feel happy when I get a gift and that's what I always aim for when there are art creation activities like this. This flower arrangement will be sold to people who order online and that then becomes added value for those of us who do it. I always feel happy when I get a gift and that's what I always aim for when there are art creation activities like this. This flower arrangement will be sold to people who order online and that then becomes added value for those of us who do it. I always feel happy when I get a gift and that's what I always aim for when there are art creation activities like this.
“You didn't join them? Ella?” Liona asked.
"I am lazy."
"What? Why?"
"Don't know. I don't think I know why I'm so lazy and I always want to be alone."
“Maybe you're hitting puberty.”
"What are you saying?"
"But, even if you're pubescent, it's useless because it's all girls in this place. You're going crazy."
"Actually, what you said was really annoying, you know."
“Eh?”
"That's enough. I just don't want to be active. Only that."
“You're so strange. But, when I think about it, it feels like we all live a life of too much work that I don't even want.”
"You are right."
"What? Do you agree with my thoughts?"
"Yes. Because that's how I feel.”
"Are you serious?"
"Yes. I'm serious. By the way, what do people our age do at times like this? do they also feel the same way? Or is it even better than all of us?”
"I don't know. I never met anyone other than the people in this neighborhood. It may sound sad, but that's what actually happened. Do you think about it and want to know as much as possible?”
"Yes. Of course. Even if I look for it on the internet, it's not like reality."
"I agree. What is shown in the media is not the same as what is experienced in real life. It is indeed indirect fraud."
The two of them continued to say a lot of things and now there were some who looked like they were peeking at their conversation. At that moment someone called them and then the two of them immediately left. Meanwhile, right now I have just finished creating art and then walked towards the room which is none other than the health room. At this time I intended to see the person's condition and when I was about to go there, suddenly someone called me again and I quickly went that way. The person seemed to be having a hard time tidying up a lot of clothes and then I helped him quickly too. After that, I could breathe again. It's been a long time since I rested in peace and now I'm just there. After everything was finished and then back to the dining room for lunch, I started to feel very tired. Ella together with Liona approached me and now the three of us started talking about something. Right now I feel more open to the two of them than usual. I don't want to hold myself back any longer and it just makes me feel uncomfortable. After what I felt before, I started to understand what they were complaining about too. It didn't feel like it was finished and after this I returned to my room. I don't want to hold myself back any longer and it just makes me feel uncomfortable. After what I felt before, I started to understand what they were complaining about too. It didn't feel like it was finished and after this I returned to my room. I don't want to hold myself back any longer and it just makes me feel uncomfortable. After what I felt before, I started to understand what they were complaining about too. It didn't feel like it was finished and after this I returned to my room.
“You came back so soon?” Ella asked.
"Yes. I've done some work and now I just want to get back to my life."
“What life? Every day we are always like this and nothing has changed at all."
"What kind of life do you want to live?"
“Which is not the same as now. Do you know why? "I'm bored. Sometimes I think, wouldn't someone want to adopt me into their family?"
“You think like that?”
"Yes. don't you think otherwise? Don't tell me you intend to stay here forever?”
"No. I never thought like that.”
"So what?"
"Just forget it."
“Eh? Don't be kidding me."
"It may sound strange, so far I only feel comfortable when I'm here and maybe if I leave this place I won't necessarily feel comfortable."
"You even think negatively like that? "What have you really been afraid of Isabella all this time?"
“I'm afraid?”
"Yes. Something you're afraid of."
“I don't remember what it was.”
"Hah? Okay. Then what is your dream?"
"Dream?"
"When you grow up, what will you do?"
“Adult huh? of course to live my life onwards."
"What? what kind of answer is that?”
"What else do I have to do apart from survive?"
“It's not wrong either. But I'm asking you more about your future. Only that."
Ella's words probably sounded more like her deepest desires. So far the things I want are so many that they can't be counted. It's just that it's impossible for me to say it and maybe people who hear what I say will laugh. I don't even want that to happen. Even if I have to say it, there will be a time when I will say everything. Until that happens, I think it's best they never find out. It doesn't feel like it's already evening, now I have to get ready for dinner. Ella walked with me towards the dining room and at that moment I felt a little unsteady about what I had previously been asked.
'Wait, why do I keep thinking about it?' I thought.