The next morning. I felt something that actually felt gripping. This time I felt like I was in a different place and then I was walking alone not knowing where I was going. Like a road that has no end. Once again I tried to ask other people for help, apparently no one heard. My feelings were getting worse and there was the sound of a dog which then made me scared. I slowly tried to escape and it turned out the result was the same. At this time I also felt that something was strange and it turned out that there was something else. The appearance immediately made me feel afraid. Now I realized again that it was just a dream. Even though it was now morning, I still felt sleepy and not long after that I immediately walked to the toilet. There are several things that have really bothered me for a long time. I seemed to be under an unusual influence. At that time I also saw many strange things which turned out when I looked back they were just my imagination. I myself always feel surprised by this, which makes me unable to differentiate between reality and what is not. Since then, I have always been in problems that I never even expected at all. This time I walked together with the others and then ate together. When I took my food, I slowly noticed several other people who were also queuing. I feel that now they look different compared to usual. If only I knew something, maybe I could figure out what all the mystery is about here. After breakfast, I went back together with the others and this time we had to come to the study room. As soon as I set foot in this room, I saw something that was quite disturbing. I felt that the sensation of the room with the people here felt strange. It's the same as what I saw in a dream. Even though I still didn't believe it, I slowly tried to forget about this and then just ignored it as if it was nothing. Until finally class finished and I started to leave this room. I also realized something that only made me feel disappointed. I feel that now is not the time to think about unnecessary thoughts and just go back to normal. However, my heart seemed to say otherwise. I'm always on the verge of confusion like this. Not long after that I saw Liona go to the east hallway and I quickly ran after the child. After that, apparently we entered the library room. Liona then realized that I had followed here.
"Oh, Isabella."
“Hey.”
"Do you want to borrow a book?"
"No. I just want to be in here. I guess I just wanted some peace.”
“I see. I thought there was something you'd like to borrow today. because you really like reading books."
“I really like reading books. But now I don't want to borrow books. Did you come here to borrow a book yourself?"
"Yes. I haven't borrowed a book in a long time. I think I'm starting to feel interested in reading some novels.”
"What novel is that?"
“About a girl's adventures. This looks like fun.”
"Oh, I see."
"Yes. I have to read it. Who knows, it might be really exciting."
Sometimes I'm like someone who doesn't care about something at all. Apart from that, I feel that there is actually something wrong with several things. There's also been a lot of shadowing over me lately. I also don't know why with all this. It felt like it just came and slowly I started to shake. As I also said to Ella. During this time I felt something unusual. The child just nodded as if he was watching me who was telling a story to myself. But it all came quickly and then made me feel very surprised. There are so many thoughts that feel random and I also can't control myself. This time I felt that there seemed to be something that brought me into this strangeness quickly. I also can't think straight and instead continue like this now. Plus there's something that gives me a headache. This time I saw several things that were very difficult for me to understand. I quickly felt that this would be useless and would only irritate me. Liona is still in the library and is currently enjoying reading a novel. Even though I came here just to relax, I also felt bad for just sitting around and doing nothing. I also looked around. It turns out people are serious about their activities. Occasionally I also peek at the others which turn out to be the same. Slowly I also took one of the books and then read it. In an instant I began to remember one thing. One of them is about treatment. At first I just felt like it was quite important and then when I discovered something, I started to get scared. My mind went back to something quite scary. I closed the book again and returned it to the top shelf. Liona saw me like this and immediately felt surprised. Innocently, Liona approached me and asked something.
"Are you okay?"
"Ah, I'm fine."
“Your face looks pale. You are sick?"
"Not really. I'm really not sick. Don't worry. I'm fine."
“If you are sick, you should go to the health room. Or should I call a nurse?"
"No. I really don't mind. Don't call the nurse."
“Ah, fine if you don't want to. I won't call the nurse."
"I think I just felt panicked."
"Panic?'
"Yes. Only that."
"What did you see that made you panic so much?"
"When I opened the book and then read a few pages, I don't know why I suddenly remembered my nightmare."
“Is it really that similar?”
“It's strangely similar.”
Actually, I don't know why I feel reminded of that. I felt a little annoyed and acute that something bad would happen. Not long after this I went back to my room and locked myself in here. For a long time after that day I always had nightmares. Apart from that, I also felt annoyed and there was no reason at all. Lately, something strange keeps popping up, making me increasingly uncomfortable with the current situation. Looking back, I felt like I had fallen into an abyss and couldn't get back home. Until now I still think about that dream.
"Unlucky. Why am I like this?” I muttered.
When I feel that there is something wrong with me right now, I am increasingly convinced that I should end all of this. Often I feel fed up with all this. Instantly I felt surprised by everything that even felt like it wasn't alive. At that moment I felt a really annoying sensation. I feel that maybe all of this has something to do with the bad luck I'm currently experiencing. I do not understand with all of this. Since I was like this, I often wish for myself not to be like this. I'm fed up with some annoying things that strangely keep popping into my head. I felt that maybe the situation would change and it turned out that I was wrong. Besides, I've also been suspicious of a few things lately. I've felt this way before and I'm getting more and more convinced of something. I just wanted to live in peace and it turns out there's nothing like that. When I finished writing my diary, now I started to see the sky from behind the window of my current room. It turns out that tonight is brighter than yesterday. The starlight continues to shine and even now I feel that maybe this will actually make me feel at ease. At the same time, I started to feel more peaceful than before. The night view that I saw was only moonlight. No other. Many times I also thought that maybe what I saw was more than this, I think I would be very happy. For a moment I just thought it was happening and in reality it wasn't there. Until now, Ella's words are always in my head and just ringing. I also feel that what Ella said wasn't wrong. I'm too rigid and can't see this world very broadly. This time I felt a little disappointed with myself.
"Are you still not asleep?" Ella asked me who had just come into this room.
"Yes. I'm still not sleepy. Where did you come from?"
“As usual, I'm from the library. It didn't feel like it was already late and finally I just went home."
"Hey, have you ever thought, if for example we managed to leave this place, what would you do out there?"
"Hah? Why are you suddenly asking that? of course I will go to school like everyone else and live the life I want.”
“I just thought of it. I don't know why I feel like I really want to leave here and enjoy real life."
“I guess that would only happen if there was a miracle.”
Actually, I understand what Ella said this time. I also feel that all of this will only lead me to my deepest desires. I also felt a sinking feeling in that regard. When I start to feel something new like this, I feel that now there is a change in me, even if it's only a little. Meanwhile, I still often think differently and even conflict with what I expected. Ella immediately lay down on the bed and now I also feel tired than before. A beautiful evening for me.
"I also have to sleep, I have to wake up early tomorrow," I muttered.