When I felt like I couldn’t believe all of these facts, at that moment I started to doubt some of the things that were happening right in front of my eyes. At that time, until this moment, I didn’t know what I should have done and it actually made a very deep burden on my mind. There are several reasons that make all of this feel inhibiting and that’s what has trapped me so far. I saw that there were a number of things that turned out to be happening and up to this moment it still makes me not know what I should be doing anymore. I can’t think of a few things that did make this situation that much better. When I have started to wake up from my sleep and at this time I already know what I should do. I immediately got out of bed and then move to live today. This time I saw a fact that was really annoying and even up to this moment I didn’t know what I was supposed to do anymore. At that time, I didn’t know what to do anymore. At this moment I also feel that all of that is just an obstacle for myself and after that there is nothing else. After that, I saw that there were a few things that I saw at this time. When I started my day as usual and this time I saw that there were some people who were busy with what they were doing and not long after that I glanced at them and not long after I found something really strange. Not long after that I also felt happy and that’s when I couldn’t stop thinking about them. Some of the things I’ve done so far I think are quite good and don’t bother me at all, apparently they’re not like that to me and I just realized that this world is really cruel and I really hate it. This time I saw it with my own eyes. After what I saw, this time I checked my cellphone and after that I saw an incoming message that was none other than one of my co-workers and until now I still don’t understand what that person sent me. At that time I also did not know anymore. Not long after, Ivana came to me and then asked me something which at this time made my mind even more chaotic. This person keeps asking a lot of things and it makes me feel less comfortable in the blink of an eye. I noticed something really disturbing this time and I think this has something to do with it.
“What are you doing?” the person asked me.
“Ah, just checking messages from friends.”
“Oh yeah, have you done your homework?”
“Already. I’ve done it. How about you?
“Yes. I’ve been working on it too. Actually there are some things that make me feel confused, can I continue living like this?”
“Why are you suddenly saying such a thing?”
“I just feel that there is something strange that even up to this moment I have never understood. I think I’m in a phase where life feels empty.”
“Ah, I understand how you feel.”
“Oh yes, you already know something?”
“Especially?”
“There are interesting entertainment.”
Ivana kept saying several things which she found quite uncomfortable and even felt empty. At that time, Ivana also said things that according to her were quite sensitive and even made the situation difficult at the moment. I’m just saying a few things that might feel the same and to this day they are still the same. I hope to myself that the reality that is in front of me is only temporary and I really don’t want all of this to continue to haunt me. I don’t want that to keep happening and even up to this moment my head is filled with thoughts like this. I feel something like a ghost that keeps following me and disturbing me. Instantly Ivana returned to saying a number of things that really made her head feel dizzy and that also made Ivana feel that there were several other things that actually made Ivana even more unable to understand her own situation. I just took a breath and then went back to listening to all the words from Ivana’s mouth, which I then just nodded and didn’t think about it at all. This time I really couldn’t believe all of it and instead there were a few things that just crossed my head and made everything feel even more chaotic. I also told myself that something was wrong. Several topics of conversation came out of his mouth which then made the atmosphere fun. I feel that his complaint is not wrong and that it should be heard. I also remember something that had previously been in this mind and until this moment it is still in the shadows which then actually became very attached. I say things that don’t make sense now and then and then Ivana laughs at me loudly and makes some of the people who see us feel weird about what’s going on. This time Ivana again said something to me and it made me feel that it was really touching and confusing.
“Actually, I don’t even know why it could be like this and to be honest, I want to end all of this. Is it possible?” she asked.
“Ending what do you mean?”
“Everything that happened to me. I can’t go on living like this and until now I’ve had enough of it and really want to leave. To be honest, I often cry at night and it hurts a lot.”
“What have you been through to be like that?”
“Ah, that’s a lot. I barely remember too much. Do I look pathetic?”
“No. You’re not at all pathetic. That is fair thing. You’re human too. So you don’t have to feel guilty.”
“Wow, you turned out really good. I feel ashamed for continuing to say all these things about my lousy self.”
“No. You don’t suck. In fact, you are the coolest person in my opinion. Do you know why?”
“Why?”
“Because not everyone can be like you. They are just different people and nothing is the same as you. You do all the things and what you go through is something great that made you who you are. I really admire people like you. I think it’s time for me to wake up.”
“Wow, thank you. I think I feel much better now compared to a few minutes ago,” Ivana said, laughing.