This is the first time I feel there are some imaginations that even almost make me feel afraid. My fear that one day it would come true until I finally had to run away from it all. Currently, I'm still in my room with a view from behind my bedroom window which is quite pleasing to the eye. After a few hours I saw something unique there, I sighed because maybe all of that was really fun. At that time, I felt that all of this just came and tried to cheer myself up. Up to this moment I continue to feel that maybe what I thought was true and it turned out to be beyond expectations. Even though all of that was really annoying, at that moment I felt that this world was never fair. There are some things that should have happened and in fact there are many things that were never expected before. I feel that all of this is pointless. At the same time, I felt that all of that was just bullshit and there were other things that just wouldn't be upsetting like this. When all these things come before me, that's when I don't understand all of this and in reality it's always the same. I feel that this world is quite strange and it happens to me too. I can't stop thinking about all of this and indeed that's what until now will never make all of this finished. After a few times I saw myself and it even added one thing that until now I still never thought of until now. Even though I looked at them with my usual eyes, I felt that this was just a lie. When I walked around and then met them again and so on until I also didn't understand all of this. I felt something was different and it turned out to be true. When all the days I've been living casually suddenly turn into something that looks really terrible, that's when I feel that this world really isn't fair. I have thought like that many times and in fact there are many other things that I will never understand apart from that. I feel that all of this is just bullshit and until now I feel that this world is quite unreasonable and indeed I will never feel that way in a short time.
"Hey."
"Did you just come from that place?" I said with curious eyes and pointed towards one of the buildings that looked like an ordinary building.
"Yes. I just met someone. What are you doing here yourself?”
"Just taking a walk."
"I see. By the way, how about your project? Have you discussed many things with the agency?”
"If that's the case they already told me. The rest is just following according to the schedule.”
“That's great. That way you can rest easy."
"Why do you ask about that?"
“Ah, I was just feeling worried.”
"You are."
Of the many situations that are currently getting more difficult, it wasn't long before I started to realize a number of things that quite surprised me. All the things that came seemed to slowly make me speechless and right now I don't know how to deal with all of this. When many things come before me and even make me speechless. I feel that most likely this world is just as annoying as it is right now that it is. I kept assuming that all of this was true and to what extent I really felt that way and it turned out that a lot of things just came out of nowhere. I always think to myself and it turns out that I'm the only one who always feels that this is just bullshit. Alona kept saying whatever this person wanted and it was always like that. Even though now I always hear everything he says and there are only a few things that I think are quite reasonable. I imagine a lot of other things and up to this moment it still keeps ringing in my head and I feel that sometimes this might be too much. I felt that what Alona said seemed to bring me into a circle that had no end and continued to be stuck in it even for an indefinite time. I really felt that and until this second I don't know what else to say afterwards. At that moment I also felt that there was only one thing that really made me feel that tremendous pressure to find something perfect. That's all that was in my mind until I was amazed by all of that and in fact that's just how I am. This time I was still talking to Alona who was with me by chance and even said more and more other things.
"Have you thought about your next step?"
“Ah, I guess I still have to think about it. Allona."
"Yes?"
“Are you really that curious about what I've been doing?”
“Why do you have to think like that? And why are you asking something like that?”
"I'm just asking. Do you feel that it offends you enough?”
"No. I just find it weird you say that to me. I honestly went through a lot and it didn't go well."
"What?"
“Maybe I'm also wrong but I feel that actually I'm not wrong anything. It sounds like self-defense but that's what happened. What do you think I should do?"
"I dont know, I'm confused."
Although his words sounded quite honest. I felt that there was something different from what Alona had just said. I always felt wary like this until I almost lost myself. Until there were a number of things that really made me feel that all of that was just nonsense that was deliberately told to me to attract his sympathy. At the same time I was speechless and only listened to his babbling until I really had to go.
"You're leaving now?"
"Yes. I must go home."
"In that case, okay. Oh yeah, there's something I want to tell you one day."
"Yes. Just say it."