I also don’t know why it can be like this and even continue like now. I felt annoyed with all of that and after that I also couldn’t stop thinking the same way Alona felt. When it starts to get messy like this, I feel that in the end everything will just be the same and there will be no hope at all. I actually felt sad about all of that and afterwards returned with a sense of joy that actually only intended to hide it. I’m also up until now still the same as before and in the current situation I feel a bit uneasy too. Alona again said a few things that made me feel surprised about the situation this time. Immediately my thoughts began to lead to things that were quite irrational and it turned out to be the same as I thought at this time. I imagined a terrible situation and it never took anything good out of me. I feel happy even if only for a moment. Honestly that’s how I feel right now.
“So are you leaving now?” asked Alona.
“No. There’s still plenty of time. I think it would be better if I just came on time and didn’t have to come early.”
“How? Did you enjoy working with them?”
“You could say that. But on the other hand I am also curious about one thing for sure.”
“What are you curious about?”
“I don’t understand myself, it seems like I always feel insecure. Even being in front of the camera feels really awkward even though I’ve never felt like this before.”
“Maybe you’re just nervous. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it and you can become a superstar.”
“How could it be. It’s too much.”
“Who knows.”
“Then how about you? Do you have plans or something after this?”
“No. I’ll go home and take a nap.”
“Ah, I see.”
“I haven’t slept in a long time. I miss it so much and I feel that it’s time for me to feel it.”
“You must have worked a lot before. I know it must be tough.”
“Yes. But now it won’t be anymore.”
“You’ve stopped completely?”
“That’s right.”
“Why?”
“I feel like resting first. I can continue later if I want.”
“It turns out that you have made a decision like this.”
“What else can we do? This has been considered.”
After several conversations with Alona, now I’ve decided to go to work. On this trip I felt that there seemed to be a number of things that really bothered me. At that moment I wished to myself that I would never go again. Running a second time was just as pathetic as cowardly. Unlike last time, this time I won’t be up to anything like that and will end up in a rather pleasant situation. One thing that is very certain and until this moment I feel something different from the previous one. On the way there, I could already imagine how everyone would react and when I arrived it was exactly what I had thought. I was welcomed back with a very bright smile and they also immediately told me to wear a costume. There were quite a lot of photo shoots today and I almost felt tired just by looking and once it was my turn it felt just as I expected. I started back with a bright smile and right now the only ones here were a few of the team’s staff and the other models as well. They also looked quite tiring and not only that, there was one person who then felt unwell. The person forced himself and in the end got treatment right away. I was shocked as soon as I saw that person and at that moment everyone started to look panicked. I imagined myself what it would be like to be that person and it was so painful. It’s not just one or two incidents like this. A few months ago there was also the same incident and it was much worse than today. I hope that person is okay. At this time I immediately continued my part of the activities even though there was a small commotion there.
“What are they doing?” muttered Julie.
One thing is certain in this world, there are other important things that even up to this moment have never been suspected before. At the same time there are many other things that are not shown very well. In something that has also happened a lot lately, for a moment it keeps a myriad of secrets that even I myself find it difficult to guess. When it was getting dark, there was a high chance of a situation starting to occur and instead adding the same sensation as before. I started imagining the same thing at this moment and it turned out that it wasn’t much different from the one after. I also couldn’t have guessed that in the end all of this would be the same as before. I’ve expected this a lot and in reality it’s never been any different
“What are you thinking about?” a staff asked me.
“Ah, it’s nothing.”
“Don’t tell me you feel burdened with the next activity?”
“What? Of course not like that. In fact, I am very happy with the activity.”
“It’s good that it isn’t. I sense you are a little worried.”
“Correct. I was indeed worried that I would fail in the end.”
“Why are you suddenly saying such nonsense? There’s nothing to worry about you’ve done your best. I am actually impressed by your outstanding performance.”
“Is it true?”
“Yes.”