Kassandra was staring at Jacob while imagining things. It has been many months that they are together. She couldn’t imagine a real relationship with Jacob not until they really tried dating. All she could comment on was ‘that lucky woman’. She was referring to Jacob’s ex-lover whom he was supposed to have a child with. She can’t stop to get jealous thinking about how that woman got to feel the sweet side of Jacob first before her.
It is funny to think that she is jealous of a dead person but it is just uncomfortable on her part as Jacob’s girlfriend. She also wanted to open up about this topic but the fear of what might Jacob react comes to her first.
“What’s wrong?”
Jacob, who was in front of her, stared at her. They are in a fancy expensive restaurant where Jacob invited her.
Looking at Jacob’s eyes, questions popped up into her head suddenly.
Would he ponder if she talks about that woman?
How would he react?
What would he do if she brought up that topic during their date?
“Are you okay, cheri?” He stood up and went to her side. He then touched her head to check her temperature.
“I’m fine. I’m okay.” She beamed but he stared at her before going back to his seat.
“What are you thinking?”
“Just random stuff.”
His face got serious. “The exact one”
She shook her head and smiled. “I evoke my right to speak my mind.”
His brows furrowed. “Where did you learn that?”
“From a clip I watched last night.”
Kassandra stilled when he put down his spoon and fork to his plate and did not finish his meal. He then crossed his arms and stared at her.
“So what is this ‘random stuff’ again?”
Kassandra ignored that and ate a few spoonfuls before speaking. She doesn’t want to talk about that because she can imagine what will happen.
“Have you lost your appetite? Let’s order another dish if you want.” She chose to change the subject.
He did not speak and remained staring at her.
“What?” She stopped eating and drank water before speaking again.
“If you ask about this ‘random stuff’ thing, you don’t need to worry about it.”
“I feel like I need to hear it, Kassandra.”
She was not able to speak a bit and thought about a reason to avoid it but Jacob knows her very well that he can tell when she lies. For over five months of having a relationship with him, he is just so sharp to know anything about her, even to the tiniest detail.
She sighed, giving up to his stares and thinking about what will happen because she could feel that they will fall into an argument.
“I was thinking about how lucky your ex- fiancée was.” She shrugged but she saw how his eyes widened.
“I know it is childish but I get jealous whenever I think about her. I mean… you loved her so much- you fought for her- with life and even your title as the heir of your family.”
He was not able to speak, making her smile. “That is why I told you not to worry about it. I know I’m being childish and selfish. You should not think about it, okay?”
“Did you search for her?”
“No.” Kassandra was watching all the expressions Jacob makes. Whenever she sees fear and sorrow in his eyes, she can't stop but feels the tightening of her chest. But then she did not show the pain she was feeling and covered it with a smile.
“Did you really not search?”
She didn’t answer that because the truth is that she lied with her answer a while ago. In short, she searched for her and that is why she is hurt. It is not only the reason why she is hurt, it is also clear that Jacob doesn’t fully trust her yet, seeing him ask about it one more time as if he is suspicious of her.
“Kassandra.”
She found herself laughing when she remembered what she saw yesterday.
“Can I ask something, Jacob?” She looked right through Jacob’s eyes.
He nodded so she asked it directly without showing emotion in her eyes. “Do you still love her?”
She immediately stood up, grabbed her bag and phone without looking at Jacob’s reaction with her question.
“If you still love her, please don’t see me anymore.” She demanded, with all the force to not break out in front of him, with all the courage she collected these past days, with all the bittersweet of her heartfelt.
As she walks out, every step she makes becomes heavier and her heart is pressed harder.
It was not right that she left him hanging there but she cannot control her emotion anymore. She is becoming childish because of it.
“Wait, Kassandra-
She stopped when Jacob grabbed her hand.
“I’m sorry.”
Unknowingly, a tear fell from her eye but she directly wiped it thinking that she would never shed a tear to any man but now, her tears were unstoppable.
“Can we talk about this?”
“No,” a direct answer.
“W-Why? Please just hear me out once-
She pulled back her hand and continued to walk away but then he grabbed her hand again.
“Alright. Let’s not talk about it but please let’s go home. I will take you home. Let me take you home.”
And because she loves him, she ended up silently on the way back to the Astarial Hotel. They were engulfed with silence all the way until they arrived. She went out before he could even open the car for her when they got in the parking lot.
Her steps were directed to where she wanted to go, never turning her back and never looking back even if she knew that he was at her back.
She went inside her unit and locked the door. She cannot understand herself. She is mad about everything and she does not want to talk with anyone. She does not want to see his face but she also doesn’t want to leave her side. She doesn’t want to talk to him but she wants to hear his voice.
She groaned loudly and dropped herself on her bed. She doesn’t know anymore. She doesn’t know how to fix this relationship anymore.
She remained staring at the ceiling while thinking about Jacob’s face when she left him. His eyes were misty, that is why she is doubting whether she did that best or not.
Will she be able to ignore him and don’t think of him these following days? That’s impossible anymore.
“What if I talk to him about it?”
She immediately got off the bed and looked at her door. She is thinking if she should go to his unit or not. After some thought, she found herself sighing and blaming herself for not letting them talk about it.
Another sigh came out from her mouth and she looked at the time. Did he fall asleep?
It was twelve thirty six AM to be particular. Why not talk to him tomorrow? But no, it should be as soon as possible.
She stood up and undressed what she wore to their ruined date. She then changed into pajamas before washing her face and brushing her teeth. After that, she walked to the door and as she opened it, her eyes circled to what she saw.
There was Jacob, sitting on the floor and leaning on the wall. He was still wearing his suit. It seems like he has fallen asleep but woke up when he heard the door open.
“W-Why are you there?”
He immediately stood up to go to her and wrapped his arms around her.