Seated in my office reminiscing on how to handle this, I just sat down, elbows on the table, knuckles on the jaw and eyes at the closed door. Should I make a move?, is it worth it jeopardizing our professional status just for the physical bond I seem to have with her, it's been three days since the call I had with Benita, and within those three days, my bond with Lydia has seem to be turning stronger and 2x faster than before, things got so clear to both of us I might say, I do see those green lights she's been giving me, showing how comfortable and submissive she was to me, but I can't get myself to make this move, what if I am wrong?, What if she's just comfortable around me because I treat her right?, Was she just trying to be a friend but I am mistaking it for something else?.
I don't think I can handle this anymore, I have got to share how I feel about her and let her reaction decide, I never wanted to have anything to do with a lady, if not from getting them at weekend nights, nothing else we have in common, but ever since I got myself a secretary, the whole story changed, from normal to worse, I can't think straight the way I was used to when I had my personal peace, the feelings are getting stronger as days pass and I don't know what to do, is it really worth the risk?.
She's just perfect and young, she's a great cook like mom, she's a great friend like Jack, she seems to share sisterly advice like Benita and also cares for me like that, then there's something new, I am now catching feelings because those abilities she posses wasn't new to me, it has been part of me ever since I was a baby, watching or remembering her been approached by another man now makes me sick.
The movement of the door opening got me back to my senses because my eyes were already there, she came in, her hair always tied to a pony, getting the strands out of her face and showing her nice and attractive face structure, an appearance I couldn't get out of my head.
“ David ”.
I looked at her, a smile on her face, looking really genuine like she noticed my admiration towards her, “ I brought you your mail....”, she handed them over. Stretching my hand and collecting them from her, I greeted her for her devotion to serve me.
“ Thanks ”.
“ Is there any other thing I can do for you?”.
“ Actually, my sister would be coming to stay with me in few weeks time, she will stay for a week, so I would like you to do some girly changes in my guest room, something you kinda like, like organize it in a way you would for yourself.....”.
“ Wow..... I guess that means you don't really know a few touches your sister might like and you probably don't wish to ask ”.
She smiled as she said those words, really finding this exciting, her smile was contagious, swiping me out of my feet, getting me to smile with her. “ Yeah..... you can say that, actually she's probably a private person like me too, wouldn't take you a while to win her over just like you did to me.....”.
“ Wow..... I'll take that as a huge compliment, especially coming from a bad a** brain like yours, never really know that I won you over....”.
I just looked at her, can still feel the smile on my face, probably reaching my eyes because I can feel them, she's just amazing and exceptional, is she worth all the risk?, Something I have never done before, should I really get my head out of my a** and share what I have with her?.
“ I'll make some note, when I'm through, I'll show them to you incase there are a few things you wish not to be there, it's still your house and looking from what you might possibly like and what you might not, I have this believe that both of you have something in common, or maybe your Mom can give me a heads-up, maybe....”.
Sometimes, I forget that she has this bond with my mom, they're more like friends, and knowing my mom, she possibly want exactly what I want, I don't know if she might've possibly highlighted her plans to Lydia along there conversation, but knowing my mom, she wasn't the type to run around the bush when it's not us, she's a confident and agile respectful woman out there, almost everyone knows she's married to Jones Williams, my Dad. She only acts shy and dig around conversation when it's us, but for any outsider, my mom is definitely a role model to girls out there, and I know she's possibly a role model to Lydia too, seeing the way she's fund of her and their friendship.
“ Maybe ”.
“ Thanks a lot David.... Mrs Williams would really be a great help ”.
She turned to leave, but out of nowhere, I heard myself calling her back, like it just happened automatically. Since my head decided to work on default, I guess I should allow it, “ Have a seat Lydia.... I have something I have got to share with you....”.
I'm the guy with a lot of confidence, with high mindset and a great level of masculinity, I posed myself with confidence, yet putting that emotion on my face because this was what I want, what would really be of great benefits to my well being, possibly her too.
I began sharing my feelings with her, not to impress her or anything, just sharing how I do feel about her, how I imagined things to be with us, how I feel life would be with her as the woman by my side, then everything struck back at me when her answer came, just as usual, something I didn't see coming.