Week in week out, I have never for once regretted my decision, it feels like this was the best I have made so far, getting me to an end of making out with flings whom I have nothing for, no physical or emotional connection, just a temporary stuff, a temporary feelings that always come to an end immediately both of us reach the end of our pleasure.
I feared becoming a father, I can't doubt the truth anymore, I always lived with the question, can I really fill in the boots of that role?, Was it really as easy as it seems?. Looking from the way Dad handled us, I can't say that I learnt much because I was kinda never focused on his activities and discipline, always yearning for mom's love until we reached the stage Dad took over, Linda still has a lot of years to get there, but I believe I can possibly give her the love Dad gave to Benita, the way she was under Dad's care and guidance, that's also the way I'm going to train Linda, teaching her as much as I know and also getting some help from my parents too, Lydia was her biological Mom, sometimes I feel off the chart, but still, she's mine, I'm going to be her stepdad soon, I just hope I'll do a good job.
Finishing with my new book presentation, I walked to Lydia who was now standing by our car, Linda wearing a beautiful smile seeing me heading towards them, “ Daddy!....”, she shouted and ran towards me as I positioned myself for the collision about to hit, I carried her up, turning around with her in my arms, “ Wow..... You're already a big girl baby, maybe it's about time you start carrying Daddy too....”. I made a joke.
It's really funny how you automatically soften up when you become a parent, jokes are part of me this days, always bringing them out of nowhere and making Linda laugh, even Lydia sometimes gets affected by my jokes, quite interesting how I came to posses that ability, despite me always being a pain in the a**. Daddy?, That name still sounds foreign to me, whenever she calls me that, my heart skips, I just haven't gotten comfortable with it, or used to it if I can say, always taken aback whenever I hear her call me by the name, even though its just being two months since I started dating her Mom.
“ Are you guys ready?.….”
I asked Lydia, giving her a kiss on the lips when I got there, whilst still carrying Linda in my arms. She nodded in acceptance as she opened the door to my fancy black Bugatti and went in, I got Linda down who also went in on the front seat with her mom, seating on her laps, wanting to seat together with us, I closed the door and went the other way round to the starring position.
We got to the children's park, it was a day meant for Linda, wanted to give her a memorable day that she will always remember. We made it a surprise, not wanting to let her know that she's the one we're taking out to go have fun.
I'm so happy the way Linda accepted me in, she loves me in a way that I have this fear in my heart that if I am not careful, I will end up breaking and shattering her heart to pieces, she was an egg, an egg I have to carry with caution, she was so innocent and open hearted that I am beginning to wonder whether her biological father has ever met with her, because when he does, he will definitely get lost in her just the way I did, she's worth all the sacrifice both me and Lydia made, risking everything that was in the line to make perfection out of this relationship we're in.
She went from one play area to the other while we just follow her around to watch her having fun. I can still remember when Mom took us here, Jack, me and Benita, the memory is still vivid in my mind like it was just yesterday, the fun we had, the little arguments along the line which even made Benita cry that day. A smile crept in into my face remembering those moments.
“ What's with the smile?.....”
Lydia asked, eyes looking up at me, staring at my face as if she was ever going to find the answer written there. I didn't answer the question, rather I bent my back a little, reaching for her lips and planted a kiss there, the kiss lasting quite longer than I intended before I pulled away.
“ You make me whole.”
THE END
Watch out for Williams Diary: { Book 4 }, Benita Williams.