Stepping back into the sitting room, her back was still focused on me as all her attention placed into the laptop, mere looking at how our relationship goes, you can't tell that today was my first day seeing her again in a far long time, we just looks like we've been living together all this while and we love it that way, each of us embracing the privacy we all came with and also ready to share expression when needed.
I walked to the kitchen, knowing that as far as she's focused on her book right now, the conversation will be later rather than sooner, giving me more time to eat, take my bath and then relax my body for the stress I put on it today.
Today's lecture wasn't as fun as it usually is, maybe my students learnt a lot like always, but I was quite absent minded, yet present. That's my normal default setting, I can be thinking two things at once, handling two issues at a given time with 100% focus in both, that's just a gift that I am blessed with, so my students definitely didn't see my bothering situation, rather only focused on what they were there for.
After I was done eating and having my bath, I almost seem to forget that Benita was at my home, and now seeing her staring back at me with a coffee cup in her hand shows that, it's about time to discuss about the elephant in the room.
She wore this smile, a smile that kind of show that she was proud of me, rather than finding my act then funny.
“ What's with the smiling face?.”
“ You know, that, I never saw coming, my brother, David, confessing his feelings, that's a first, I'm really was taken aback watching the scene play out before me, really admiring....”.
I never wanted to smile about that, but it came anyway, widening my lips, the smile reaching the angles of my eyes, just the way I expected her to talk about this, positively. Seeing that this was going to be a great conversation, I had to find something to drink just as she's doing with her coffee, I excused myself, heading to the fridge and grabbing a milk yoghurt, opening the cover, I poured some on a glass cup, sitting across from Benita, the table and her laptop on top separating us.
“ I wasn't expecting you guys to be acquainted to each other.....”.
I said, laying down my opinion to her, really oblivious to their friendship, not even the fact they happen to be best of friends. She wasn't speaking, more like she was trying to think her words through, so I gave her that space, relaxing my back and quietly gulping down my milk yoghurt.
“ We were together since I entered college, both of us starting out together as roommates ( Roommates?, That's more than I was thinking), She was already in love with a guy who she has been with since highschool, and they happened to make it to the same college, their love was really a romantic one, ( I can feel myself getting jealous, picturing the kind of fun her life might be then), they were lovebirds, the guy was kind of a gem, really intelligent and also masculine, someone like you I can say, but that's not a matchable comparison though, because you've just something out of the ordinary with you which I can never understand or predict, but for the guy, I can really read him and what he might possibly do next. They were really a happy young lads until the situation changed out of the ordinary, something that mostly happen in a relationship that shows our true colors, pregnancy. I always believed they were meant for marriage, seeing the way they were together, even though the pregnancy was there, the young guy accepted it, still living a happy relationship with Lydia, but as time goes on, I began realizing that the guy was detaching himself emotionally, Lydia was fighting to maintain their love momentum and the happiness that was once there, but the guy was intentionally pulling away, putting Lydia in a low mental position because this was the man she loved and cherished with all her heart, never really wanting any other male in her life. But anyways, it all happened the way it happened, she woke up one day, called him on the phone but couldn't reach him, decided to go to his hostel and look for him, he was no longer there..... Took her few weeks to make contact with the young guys family only to find out the boy is now living a dream, happily married to a wealthy young lady, rejected Lydia and his baby in her and so on, leaving her heart broken which really made her bitter to the point she had to leave me too without any heads up, since then, this was the first time I am ever setting my eyes on her.....”.
This was one hell of a story, leaving me bitter and sympathetic, she really went through all that, and happened to give birth to her baby, that's so loving of her, I believe to say many other girls out there might possibly do otherwise, even if they happen to give birth, another story comes with it.
“ She went through all that....”.
That escaped my lips with my mind elsewhere, thinking about the pain she might've went through, I really pity her, she does deserve better, but who is the better?, Who isn't going to break her heart just the way the young guy had done?, I can't even trust myself, not when I have my weekend routine, would she ever accept such man, this is a huge mess, she's been through a lot, someone like me doesn't deserve her, because I am definitely not the kind of man that would bring back her happiness.