That night, after I rejected Raven, I intentionally asked a moment from mom for us to talk. She knows what's best for me because she's my mother, she carried me in her womb for nine months. Besides, she told me before to never hesitate to call her if I needed someone to talk to.
“Any problem, sweetie?” She combed my long hair as I was staring blankly at the white wall.
“What am I supposed to do, mom? I rejected a suitor of mine just because I love someone else. He's kind to me… he's different from my other suitors before.” I bow my head. This is the very first time that I became open to her. I don't know how to express myself correctly.
“You like someone else?” she asked. I nodded my head. “Then it's not your fault.”
“But I hurt him so much, mom. I wasted all his efforts to make me feel special.” I started biting my lower lip to stop myself from crying. Not now, Arianna. You cried enough.
“Sometimes in life we have to say the truth in order to release our feelings. He courted you because he realized that he loves you, Ari. But you rejected him because you know that you love someone else. Both of you are just being true to yourselves, and nothing's wrong in saying the truth. What's worst was when you make a person believe in a lie.”
Mom's words are inspirational. The moment I heard it, I realized many things. Just like saying the truth is not a mistake at all. What's worst and bad was when you tell a lie.
“Thank you for listening, mom.” I hug her tight as she gave me a tap on my back. Shaine and mom are the same when it comes to comforting me. They always tap my back… how lovely.
“Who is this guy that you love, hmm?” She pinched my nose and started showing me a teasing smile. “Could it be Shan?”
My eyes widened in surprise. “How did you know?” She already mentioned the name, how can I lie?
“You can't hide yourself from me, sweetie. I know exactly that you have special feelings for your childhood friend.”
“But he already reunited back with his ex-girlfriend, mom.” I swallowed hard. She knows about it… about Marga.
“It's okay, Ari. Pain is normal when you love someone. But don't allow it to cut the very best of you. Crying is enough. Don't let it be your greatest downfall.” She smiled and kissed my forehead. How sweet… Thank god you gave me such a loving mother.
“Don't tell dad about it,” I jested, and we laughed together. “Just kiddin'.”
“Oh, sweetie! Your dad is a detective wanna be. He will surely know without me telling it.”
“A detective, huh?” I chuckled.
“By the way, can I ask for your suitor's name?” Mom diverted the topic when she was almost done in combing my hair.
“He's Raven, Raven Jesner,” I answered.
“He is a gentleman, I guess.” You're right, mom. He's different from the others. “I'm looking forward to meeting him, Ari.”
“I'll ask him first.” Well, that Raven has a thick face. He will say yes for sure.
“Invite your suitor for dinner if that's okay with him.” I nodded my head in response. Mom waved her hand and wished me to have a good sleep.
The next morning, when the sun kissed my cheeks, I wake up with a heavy heart but not the usual heaviness. I did my daily routine following these; fix my bed, take a bath, eat breakfast, brush my teeth, and wear my uniform. Thereafter, I drove my car out from the garage, but before that, I made sure of it that I already opened the gate.
I heard gossips when I entered the classroom. Many of my classmates are against of me rejecting Raven last day when he courted me for the first time. But thank goodness there are still some who are defending me from them, just like Shaine.
“Don't mind them, Ari. They're just saying that because they don't understand you at all.” She was there, yeah. Shaine's such a good friend of mine.
“Thank you,” I mouthed.
Until class dismissal at five in the afternoon, I'm still hearing gossips about me along the hallway. It was like my name's famous now just because I rejected him. But like what my friend told me, I ignored them and acted like I'm not hearing anything.
“What the fuck.” I can't help myself but to curse after I checked my car in the parking lot. All tires are flat as in no air. Who the hell did this madness to me?
I turned around to see any damages apart from the tires. I saw nothing except from the words' heartbreaker Ari sprayed at the back of my car. Oh, shoot. Those students again who are spreading the gossips about me since morning.
“Oh, c'mon… please pick up.” I dialed Shaine's number multiple times, but she can't be reach. I was planning to ask help from her since I can't disturb mom and dad who I know for sure is busy right now.
What should I do now? Shaine was fetched by their family driver, and they already left. I should have checked my car before I waved my hand at her.
“What's the problem, Ari?” someone asked me from behind, making me turn. I saw Raven smiling at me, holding a key. That one must be for his car, since I saw him one time or two here in the parking lot.
“My tires were flat. But it seems like it was done in purpose,” I replied, still feeling the awkwardness. I rejected him. I thought he's gonna avoid me after.
“May I see?” I nodded my head as a response and let him checked the tires. “You're right. Tires can't be flat together unless it is done intentionally.”
“I'm trying to call Shaine, but she ain't responding.” I took out my phone and dialed her number once again. But there's no response.
“Is that so?” He wandered his eyes around. “You can commute, but it's not safe, much better in a private car. Hey, I can give you a ride if that's okay with you.”
“Really?” I blinked my eyes. C'mon, don't be chossy, Ari.
“Just wait here, alright? I'll get my car.” He ran away as I reminded him not to hurry. Seconds after, his car halted in front of me. He opened the door and came out. “Shall we?” He then stretched his hand.
“You sure? I mean, I can commute, actually. I've done it before.” I was hesitant to ride on his car, given what happened last day.
“You're safe when you're with me, Ari. If something bad happened to you while you are commuting—well I hope not—then I will be guilty,” he chuckled, still stretching his hand. “So, shall we?”
“Fine. I don't want you guilty,” I jested. I accepted his hand as we paced toward the other side of the car. He opened the door and only let go of my hand when I'm already seated on the passenger's seat.
“So, how are you?” he asked, making conversation. We already reached the highway and is currently dealing with the other vehicles.
“I should be the one to ask you that,” I awkwardly said. “How are you, Raven?”
“I'm good… perfectly good.”
“How come?” Disbelief is written on my face. We're almost on the same boat, we're both hurt. But I can't be as perfectly good as him.
“Happiness is a must for me. Just because you're hurt doesn't mean you have to be sad every day. Pain is normal but don't normalize it. We need to learn how to accept reality, Ari. If not happier, then at least we're happy.” Then his voice lowered, almost turning into a whisper. I can relate to him. But acceptance is not that easy for me. We're dealing things in a different perspective.
“I'm sorry,” I muttered. I was mean to him when we first met in the coffee shop, way back at the pool party, when he sent me messages, until he decided to reveal his identity as my secret admirer. My words are always blunt.
“Crazy, right?” he chuckled. “It took all the guts on me to court you. Then you rejected me. Maybe that rejection is destined to happen for us to talk like this. I mean, look at us. I have to be rejected first before you let me have a good conversation with you.”
“What do you mean?” Sorry. My brain is still loading…
“What I mean is that god has a better plan for the two of us. If I didn't court you, if you didn't reject me… do you think we will be in the same car now?”
Oh, I got it.
“I don't think so. Maybe I will remain hating you. After the rejection, I realized that I've hurt you so much.” I look straight into his eyes, telling him a fact. “I shouldn't have treated you like that.”
“Not just realizations, Ari. That rejection leaded us to be friends. The very significant outcome of that rejection is friendship.” He grinned from ear to ear. Well, I think it is. We won't be having a conversation right now if the rejection didn't take place.
“Sorry again, Raven.”
“Rejecting me is not a mistake, Ari. It's okay. None taken.” He shifted his gaze from the road before us to me. “Friendship is already enough for me.” Then he smiled. Oh, that smile. I wish everyone can have that too.
Silence ensued for some seconds before I decided to break it.
“By the way, mom wanted to invite you for dinner.” I bit my lower lip, carrying the thought if it would be okay for him. Really, after you hurt him?
“Sure, I'm so excited to meet your parents! When?” Oh, thank goodness he didn't refuse.
“It's up to you. When is your free day?” I asked. I'm also looking forward to having dinner with him. Hey, we're friends now. That was quick, actually.
“Saturday,” he replied.
“Noted.” Well, we can set the dinner today but knowing mom she wants everything prepared. So maybe this coming Saturday.
“Ari, can you do me a favor?” he asked out of the blue. Okay, I was startled.
“Sure, what was it?”
He laughed first. “Can you kiss me? I won't mind where. You can do it on the cheek part, but much better in the lips.”
“WHAT?” My voice raised.
“Why… what's bad in kissing me?” Is he serious right now? I mean, he's laughing. “It's not like you know…”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I knitted my brows and glared at him. “Hey! Pull the car over!”
“Oh, I swear, you looks cute when you're mad—” He cut his sentence when I pulled his hair. “Ouch! What, I'm just joking you.” He chuckled.
I covered my mouth as we burst into laughter. “What a joke, huh?” I punched his arm as he told me not do it again because he's in the middle of the driving.
“But seriously, here's my real favor.” He took out his phone.
“C'mon, man. Don't ever try to make fun of me again.”
“No more jokes, I swear.” He made a cross sign on his neck.
“Then what's the real favor?”
“Please remove my messages from spam and accept my friend request on facebook.” He then showed me his screen. “I sent you another one after you deleted my first request.”
“Oh, sorry for that. I'll do it later.”
He is a responsible driver aside from being such a gentleman. We're safe throughout the whole trip. I asked him to take a rest first after we arrived at our house, but he refused. According to him, he still needs to do a lot of things. I thanked him for his kindness as he bid goodbye.