I expected to receive a message from Raven that's why I woke up early to check my messenger. To my surprise, he hasn't sent me one. I placed my phone back on the side table and fixed my bed before going downstairs.
Maybe he's busy and I'm not even his girlfriend so why would I expect for a message, right? You're just being assuming, Ari. Stop that.
I look at the rose flower on the frame. If you guys remember, this is the pink rose Raven gave to me before. I waited for days until it got dried so I can put in in a frame. After that, I displayed it on the wall so everytime I go to bed I will always remember him. The petals died as well as the leaves and I just find it nice to framed it.
“Raven's flying back tomorrow, right?” I never go wrong about my counting. He said he'll be staying there for one week and today's gonna be his last day on New York. He will be having his flight tomorrow.
“Yeah.”
My eyes won't stop from squinting after I noticed something strange from Shaine. She's not talkative today and only talk when she's asked. I just noticed the difference on her. She's always bubbly no matter where she are but today she's being the silent type I'm not used to see.
She even refused to eat snacks when recess time came. Weird, isn't it? Shaine is a food lover. She loves exploring different taste. But today, she refused to eat. I can see it on her face that she don't have an appetite. And what's surprising is that this is actually the first time that she showed no interest to foods.
“Any problem?” In the middle of staring at her, I can't help myself but to ask. I've been staring at her for like pass five minutes already and it's hard for me to get my eyes off from her.
“I'm not just in the mood.” She crumpled the piece of paper on her right hand until she threw it on the floor.
“Something came up? We can talk about it if you want to. Are you going through something right now?” She just shook her head. “Then why are you so silent?”
“Why, is there something bad about being silent?”
I looked away and heaved a deep sigh. “I'm not just used to see you being like this.” It's so obvious that she's dealing with something. She can deny but she can't lie to me.
When I look into her eyes earlier, I can see the tiredness on it. Looks like she's exhausted because of crying all night. Though she hasn't admitted yet, I know exactly that she's not feeling good now.
And I can't stop but to wonder. The last time she behaved like this is when her mother died. It was years ago and I never expected a day would come that she's gonna act like this again. She already moved on from that happening and the idea of her getting back to the old her never crossed my mind.
Should I worry? She might be just not on her mood but we will never know if there's more than that. And Shaine's my friend. I should be fair to her by helping her solve her problems if there's any because she was also there for me during my down times. But how? She can't even share it to me. I want her to speak out but can't force her if she don't want to.
“...Arianna Adisson, with highest honor,” our adviser announced, reading the names on her list.
I was beyond happy to hear my name being part of the honor students. This is not yet the over all rating but reaching the with highest position is more than enough. I care less if I'm gonna be at the top of all the honor students in Grade 12. All I care about is receiving an award to make my parents proud.
I thought I can't make it but here is the result. Arianna Adisson is part of the honor students, bringing the title of with highest. This is a great achievement for the third sem. I hope I can still maintain this position 'til fourth semester so I can graduate with not just a diploma but medals. Mom and dad will be very much delighted finally seeing the fruit of their hardworks.
“Shaine Rossy, with highest honor.”
I turned to my friend and plastered a smile to congratulate her. Between the two of us, it's obvious that she work hard more than me. These past few weeks I became too preoccupied on the pain of being not loved back by Shan to the point that I already forgot making my assignments and even projects. But she was there to help me and I need to congratulate the two of us for making it up. I might not be able to get this position if she didn't motivate me.
Congratulating her turns out to be genuine but to no avail, she didn't look happy nor excited about the announcement that our adviser just announced. She kinda look more sad, worried, something I can't explain but there is pain in her eyes. Is she alright? No, not a good question to ask. I know she's not okay.
“You just called as part of the honor students,” I mentioned, hoping she'll smile upon hearing it.
“Yeah, I know. But we're too late to celebrate, Ari. I can't be happier today.” I saw her biting her lower lip as if she was avoiding to say something that will give me a hint of what she wanted to point out.
“What do you mean?” The smile on my lips slowly faded and was replaced by curiousity. What is she trying to point out?
“Never mind.”
“No. You said something about being too late to celebrate. What does that word supposed to mean?” I knitted my brows, waiting for an answer. I cannot let this day pass without her spilling the bean. What I don't like when it comes to friendship is hiding problems. I wanted to hear it not because I want to judge but because I wanted to help.
“Ari, you don't want to feel what I'm feeling right now, do you?”
“I don't know what you're talking about.”
Our subject teacher in philosophy entered the class the reason our conversation got interrupted. I'm not listening on the discussion nor I take note some of the important highlights written on the white board. I'm only staring at the wall, preoccupied of the thought why my friend's being weird today. She's the only content in my mind right now. The more I'm not hearing her usual noisy voice, the more I wondered what's going on.
After class dismissal, I checked my messenger again to see if there's a new message coming from Raven. Fine, I already said to myself not to assume too much, but I just can't help myself.
His message is my happiness too, I'm not going to deny.
But I received nothing, not even his usual hi or greetings. Maybe he's hanging out with his cousins right now since it's his last day in New York. Of course he want to make his stay there as memorable as ever.
“Is that Arianna?”
“Yes.”
“She must be Raven's crush, right?”
“You're right. But that girl's a heartbreaker. I heard she rejected Raven because she like someone else.”
“Really? I can't believe it even.”
“And you know what's worst than that? She had a crush on her best friend but that guy already had a girlfriend.”
“Oh my— That's crazy. That girl's a bitch, I must say.”
I can hear the students buzzing like a bee, spreading gossips about me. They are talking about me again like they never get tired of the topic. Everytime I walked in the hallway, this is always the fucking talk of the students.
Many times I became tempted to fight back and defend myself because they're acting too much. Raven and I are good friends now and the rejection was never been an issue for us. But for the students, it's not yet over. Glad I'm just holding myself back. My patience is tight but I'm afraid it's going to break sooner or later.
“Ari, it's a surprise to see you here alone. Where's Shaine?” Shan approached me while I'm in the middle of walking in the hallway.
I bow my head after I smiled to him. The students are shooting a sharp look on me. I know they're talking about me again and there's nothing I can do but to look on the floor. “I don't know where is she.”
“Really?” He asked. I just nodded my head as response. “Did you guys fight?”
I gulped upon hearing his question. Shaine's being weird today but I can't remember a moment that we argue and I'm certain that there's none.
“There's no such thing, Shan. Maybe she's not on her mood.” Well, that is what she said earlier when I ask her what's the problem. But I conclude there's another reason behind.
“Is that so?” Then he took out something from his backpack. “Here you go. Kindly accept this, Ari.” He handed a not so big box to me. It is all covered in a red gift wrapper and is tied with a lavender ribbon. The size is enough for a pair of shoes or any foot wear to fit in.

“What is this box for?” I asked, accepting it from him. He never give something like this to me before. So, what's up with this stuff?
“That's a gift from Marga as a sign of her friendship to you. She asked me to personally give this to you in behalf of her.”
My mouth formed an o, surprise to received a gift from her girlfriend. “Why, where is she right now?”
“She attended a fashion show in Paris. Well, she tried to give this to you even before her flight last day but she didn't expect she'll be busy like this.”

“Oh, thank you so much for this,” I said. It really touched my heart, being given a gift as a way to express one's friendship with you. I never thought she'd be thoughtful like this.
“You're welcome, Ari. I'll tell Marga later. So maybe you can now open the box.”
I followed what he said and slowly untied the ribbon.
Marga is really a model now. She was invited to many fashion shows and even got the chance to travel at different places. Her love for fashion made her an elegant woman, someone who is fancy, her syle is expensive. Before, I created a bitch figure of her, not knowing that she is actually an epitome of kindness and beauty.
“What the hell, man! Is this for real? Oh, c'mon! Marga's pranking me, right? This is unbelievable.” I cannot believe what I just saw inside the box. Something I never expected in my entire life. This thing... is heaven. She just gifted me a pair of heels. I'm not really a fan of heels because I ain't girly. But when it comes to this, no one will ever say no I don't like it.

“It's for real, Ari. No one's pranking you. Marga wanted something special for you as her friend that's why she thought of gifting you that brand of heels.”
I glance on the box, my eyes shining like diamonds. Dude, it's a nude christian louboutin heels. This is drop dead expensive. Everyone's dreaming to have even one pair of christian louboutin. Because if you're gonna ask me—I know it's kinda embarrassing—it's my first designer heels. I never bought like this before because I know I can't afford.
“This is so sweet!” I exclaimed and gave him a tight hug. My heart jumped in joy because of this gift. I'm gonna wear this, I swear. I know I don't like to wear heels but a pair of christian louboutin is exactly worth bragging for.
“We hope you like it, Ari. I told Marga that you're not fond of wearing heels but she said it matters on the brand. She expected that once you saw it, you're going to like it even though heels are not your bet.”
She's right. Every model knows about that thing. I mean, who's choosy here? It's christian louboutin!
“Thank you again and again and again!” I chuckled.
“By the way, how's Raven? I heard he went to New York.”
“Yeah, that's true. He said he's doing good there. He wanted to treasure the moment while he still have time to bond with his cousins.” I can't help but to smile. I haven't check my phone for an hour already. Hoping for a message, I guess?
“That's good to hear. If you'll excuse me, I really have to go now. I still need to attend our basketball practice in the covered court.” He even showed me a message from their group chat to prove what he just said.
“Of course. No problem, Shan. Thanks again to you and Marga for this gift.” I waved my hand until he disappeared from my sight.
I'm still smiling until I reached the parking lot. Too hard to get the smile off my lips. It's really Marga's fault why I can't stop smiling right now. Just kidding.
She's a very sweet girl, right? No wonder why Shan's inlove on her. It's not true that she's a selfish girl who exchanged him for passion because chasing what your heart desires and pursuing your passion was never been wrong. Maybe it's a mistake for others but it will never be considered as a sin.
Her kindness touched my heart. Why would she even bought designer heels for a nonsense friend like me? I hated her before and I like her boyfriend. If that happened to other girls, I doubt I'd be forgiven. But Marga... she never returned the hate I showed to her.
I was about to open the door of my car when I noticed a familiar face on the side. My lips parted slightly and is about to say something when she speak first.
“A gift?” Shaine asked, making me nod my head. She only stared at the box for some seconds until the awkwardness pushed me to continue the talk.
“Why are you still here?” I took a quick glance on her car parked not so far from mine. Their family driver is already inside so why is she still here?
“I actually waited for you.”
My mouth formed an o, surprise to hear it from her. Did she realized at once to share something to me? She's been weird earlier. “What is it?”
She bowed her head, looking on the cemented floor. I can sense her reluctance to continue.
“Shaine, I'm talking to you.”
“I don't have the guts to say it, Ari. I don't want you to— Oh, fuck. How am I going to explain this to you?” She's struggling, I can feel it. The way she cursed. I know she's having a hard time to say something.
“It's okay if you're not gonna share everything, Shaine. Hearing a part of whatever you wanted to say will be enough for me.” I shot a worried look on her, not knowing what to do. What could be her problem if there's any? God, curiousity's killing me.
“I wished nothing but the best for you, Ari. Believe that I was beyond happy, seeing the smile in your lips. I waited for so long to finally see the happiness and satisfaction on you. You finally recovered from the pain and that is all I wanted to witness.”
I remained silent, gaving the oppurtunity for her to speak up. Her sigh is as heavy as mine. I don't know what's going on here.
“And I don't want to take that happiness away from you.” She lifted her gaze to me but she immediatedly looked away. “In this world, we are forced to deal with the inevitable even when we don't want to. This moment was always meant to happen, Ari.”
The more she speak, the more weird she become. I can't tell what she wanted to pointed out. My mind is preoccupied with pure curiousity.
“What's wrong? Are you sick? Shaine, I don't understand you. Please enlighten my mind.” My voice is pleading her to elaborate more.
“I wish there will be no pain, only happiness. But, Ari... we are living in a painful reality. After bad times there is always good times. As well as after good times, there will always be bad times we have to expect.”
“Shaine—”
“I'm so sorry but you deserve to hear the truth.” Then suddenly, her voice cracked. She burst into tears until I could no longer understand what's going on.
Pain etched on her face. Vivid, solid, extreme pain. My heart is beating rapidly, seeing her broke into tears. Right now, I could no longer see the jolly Shaine I used to know before. She's more broken but I don't know why.
“You can tell it to me. I will be all ears.” I leaned closer to her and caressed her back. I don't know how to comfort a friend except from telling her that I'm just ready to listen.
“What if you can't handle this? Ari, I'm scared... I don't want you to go back from being wrecked.” More tears shed on her beautiful eyes as I kept on shushing her.
I can see the sincerity on her. Having a hard time to express something, carrying the thought that it might hurt me... is an action of a true friend. I appreciate her for being concern but it might be more better if she'd tell me what it is.
“R-Raven's in the hospital. He is undergoing a heart surgery.”
I dropped the box on the floor after she said those.