Darkness illuminated the light brought by the sun as the moon replaced its position. I can't sleep. I've been staring blankly at the high ceiling for minutes already.
Are you avoiding me?
Oh, that question. Am I too obvious of my actions lately?
“Are you okay?” Mom kissed my forehead as she placed the glass of milk on the side table.
I plastered a reassuring smile. “Of course, mom.”
“You know you can call me if you need someone to talk, sweetie.” She started raking my hair using her fingers. That was way too comforting…
“Mom, what are you talking about?” I chuckled. She wants to point something, eh?
“Hmm… Is there something I need to know about you?” She then pinched my nose. “You can tell me everything.”
“Nothing, mom. I'm just bored,” I lied. Mom is out of it. I don't want her to worry about her daughter.
“Okay then. Please drink your milk before you go to sleep.”
“Yes, mom.” I waved my hands as she got out of my room. Sorry. Please forgive me for lying.
I was too sleepy the next morning when I go to school. Even in the highway, I yawned many times while in the middle of driving. I only had a sandwich and half glass of milk for breakfast and that doesn't give me a full stomach. But during recess, I still don't have an appetite to eat.
“I still have to finish my hands-on activity in computer, Ari. Would you like to come?” Shaine stood in front of me, bringing a sheet of paper.
I shook my head. “Go ahead. I already finished mine last meeting.”
“Okay.” She smiled as she walked away together with our other classmates.
I heaved a deep sigh and opened my Facebook account. Since I'm bored, I decided to scroll on my newsfeed to entertain myself. Just random people who are fond of sharing posts, standing by on my feed.
When is the time since I last posted on Facebook? I'm not updating my followers for five months, I think. Posting selfies or even sharing posts are not cool for me. Feels like I just made this account to witness other people's lives, to have a glimpse on their happy moments that they usually share.
“Ari.” I halted from scrolling when someone called me. I'm hesitant to turn, hearing the familiar voice.
“Shan, what a surprise!” I acted like nothing happened and faced him with a smile.
“There's something I want to talk to you. I hope you don't mind.” He carefully grab a chair and pulled it beside me. Oh, my— Our close distance is killing me. Not because I'm thrilled, but because it's awkward. He asked you if you were avoiding him, Ari. C'mon, how awkward.
“About yesterday…” I paused a while and think of it if what I'm about to say will fit. “… I'm sorry for not—”
“None taken, Ari. I understand and that is not a problem. Yeah.”
His kindness never changed. If I were him, I would be hurt knowing that my friend is avoiding me. But in his case, he said it's not a big deal.
“So, why are you here?” I asked.
“You're not avoiding me, are you?”
I gulped. I thought that thing is already over but seems like I'm wrong. And since I don't know what to answer, I just remained silent.
“C'mon, Ari. You're my friend and I don't want us to be like this.”
“What do you mean?”
“Would you come with us tomorrow in our milk tea date?”
My eyes widened in shock, asking him telepathically if he was serious. Let me just rewind it, milk tea date with them. Oh, shoot.
“You said what?”
“Please say yes.” His voice sounded like he's pleading.
“But why?” My eyes squinted, can't say if I'm irritated or asking.
“It could have been better if you're with us. You know, I want you to be part of our dates.”
Is he even serious about wanting me to be part of their dates? Like, man, what's up?
“For what?!” My voice raised a bit, but I lowered it as fast as I can. “I mean, you will not be able to know her more if you always have me in your dates. Just imagine your attention being divided to two.”
I'm talking as calm as I can to control myself. But deep inside, I want to explode in so much pain. How can he ask me to come with them? Isn't it obvious that I'm hurting?
“I know she'll understand. Besides, your a friend, not just anyone.” I can hear the pleading in his voice. “So, would you come?”
I went silent, torn between deciding or not. My mood is not on the line to accept his request. Yes, we're friends, but what will happen to me once I get there? I will be a very sad potato.
“I'll take that as a yes.” He stood up like we are already done talking.
I heaved a sigh. “Fine.”
I didn't say yes because I want to witness how sweet they are on their first milk tea date. I did that as a sign of respect to my friend who came all the way just to force me. And to support him as well. Even though it hurts… I still have to be nice. But I promised to myself that this will be the first and last time that I'll come with them in their date.
“I can't believe you said yes. Why still have to force yourself to Shan when Raven's there for you? I don't understand a girl's attitude sometimes,” Shaine said in the phone call.
“Do you think I want this? Bitch, he sealed the talk, and I was left with no choice. If only I can refuse, but I swear this is the last.”
“Just make sure of that, Ari. This will be the last, okay?”
“Yes I'm listening.”
“Alright. Let's continue this talk tomorrow, take care. Bye!”
And she ended the call.
Morning came, and I'm already preparing my clothes to wear. To join their tea date, I chose a plain black shirt paired down with a white ripped jeans. I look like a date crasher because of my shirt, but who cares, I'm the one who's invited here.
I didn't bother to ready my car, since Shan insisted on giving me a ride. The three of us on the same car and table? It will be awkward for sure.
“Ari, shall we?” He came out from the car and motioned his hand on the back seat. I can feel my reluctance to come with them when I uncomfortably get inside the car.
“Hi, Ari!” Marga waved her hand at me, smiling. She is seated on the passenger's seat beside his boyfriend, whose attention is fixed on the road before us. This is just the first time that I'm gonna talk to her, so you should be nice, Arianna.
“Hello!” I waved back and reciprocated her smile.
“I'm pleased to meet you in person, Ari. You and Shan must be very good friends.”
Correction: good friends, not very good. We are slowly coming to that level, not until you returned and ruined everything.
“The pleasure is mine.” I did my best to make my words genuine. Truth is, I'm not even happy to met her. Know what I'm feelin' right now? Bro, it's pain.
The whole trip is awkward. The way I talk to her and laugh on her jokes… that was all fake. But nothing can ace the awkwardness when we already arrived at the tea shop, me facing the both of them. Their hands are intertwined, making me say, that's sweet but painful in my eyes.
“I'm glad you're here with us today, Ari.” Shan smiled at me as he enumerated our orders.
I smiled back. But deep inside, I want to walk away. For what, Shan? Are you happy because I'm finally here to witness your sweet moments with her? Great. How about considering my pain?
“Shan said it would be nice to spend our first date with a friend,” Marga added. My brows knitted after hearing those. Seriously, what is going on in their heads?
“I'm honored to be here. You guys are the sweetest,” I said, forcing myself to be good.
“Let's take pictures then,” Marga giggled and took out her phone from her purse. I maintained the curve in my lips just to convince them that I'm happy for this crazy date. I also took some pictures of them, Shan kissing her forehead, Marga hugging him tight.
“1, 2, 3… smile!” I clicked the button, my eyes lingered on their picture on the screen. How sweet…
“I'll post this on IG,” Marga said, browsing on the photos. Our orders are already served on the table and I don't even have any appetite to taste it.
“When will you get a boyfriend, Ari?” Marga asked out of the blue. I shot a quick glance on Shan and shifted my gaze her. God, this is getting awkward.
What if I said I have no plans of having one because until now, I'm still in love on her boyfriend? Oh, stop.
“Let's just say I'm waiting for someone to love me back.” I swallowed hard and sip from my milk tea as if I'm savoring it. “But it's impossible.” I put the milk tea back on the table and flashed a smile. They have the guts to invite me here; therefore I should play with their minds. Bad, Arianna.
“Then that someone must be so lucky. I mean, look at you. You're so gorgeous!” Marga commented, smiling from ear to ear. She looks like a jolly type, huh?
“I don't think so. He's not that lucky.” I bow my head, secretly feeling the pain in my chest.
“And that guy is?” Shan asked, tapping the table. I'm not surprised anymore since I already expected that question. Glad I'm always ready for answers.
I lifted my gaze and look straight into his eyes. Let's see both of your reactions, couple. “You.”
“What?” Marga's eyes widened, while Shan remained speechless. She was almost choked after hearing that from me. Why, are you shock?
When I said I want to play, I meant it. You wronged me for letting your boyfriend invite me for this date. You should have stopped him, but you didn't. Seems like you really want me jealous. Don't underestimate me, Marga. I can play with you all night long until you refused to finish the game.
“What did you say?” From being sweet, her voice changed like there is already a sharp blade placed on her tongue. I'm savoring the priceless reaction on her face. Oh, my—
“Why, is there something wrong?” I asked, acting as if I have no idea.
“You said something.” Marga's voice hardened like she was about to explode. The way she handled her milk tea, looks like she wants to crumple the container, though it's not yet empty.
“Ari…” Shan spoke after being speechless for some seconds. The way he looks at me, I know he wants me to clarify it.
“I mean, you. As in, you don't know him so just don't bother to know his name,” I said, lying. Don't know whether they sense it or not, but I don't give me a damn. I'll let them think for it.
“Oh, shit,” Marga cursed, looking away. Seems like she can't endure this anymore. Well, I intentionally did that, so they won't invite me next time.
“Why, have I said something wrong?” I chuckled. “C'mon, guys. I can't reveal the name.”
“Excuse me.” Marga took her purse and leave the table quick like a flash.
Shan stood up. “I'll follow her, Ari. Just stay here.”
“No need. I also need to go now.” I fake a smile and walked ahead of him.
Don't invite me next time. You know I play minds, bitches.