"Blaire," i fearly whispered.
When our eyes met, i saw how confused and lost she was who's currently looking at my hand intertwined with Light. I shaking tried to go of Light's hold the reason why he looked at me.
"Is there any problem?" he asked thankfully it's more like a whisper.
I swallowed and quickly looked at him. "None," i answered and quickly looked back to Blaire, not convinced with my answer Light move his head to look at where i'm looking.
"U-uh..." i stuttered, really don't know what to do.
Shit.
My mind is in chaos but i know i should think properly so that i could save this day.
If not, i might lose both of them.
Think Sumeria!
"L-light t-this is B-blaire," i said introducing them to each other but with a stuttering voice.
"U-uhm...Blaire this is...Light," i strengthlessly said.
The two looked to each other.
Blaire became speechless while starring Light while on the other hand, Light was just cool and extend his hand towards Blaire. "Glad to meet you, Miss," he greeted.
I tightly bit my lower lip and simply exhaled to lessen the pain i'm feeling, to not disturb them.
Blaire's jaw dropped even when she's confused, she still can't hide the feelings she felt.
"H-hi!" she immediately hold Light's hand and shake it.
I looked away. The sight of them holding a hand together can kill me, i should be use to this but maybe soon, i still can't right now.
Light shook both of their hand and let go after but Blaire isn't contented yet, she follow Light's hand but out of embarrassment she quickly took it back.
"My girlfriend's been talking about you this pa–"
Out of fear, i immediately spat Light's hand and stared him to stop talking while my heart beat's loudly feeling anxious that Blaire might realize what he said.
But in my horror, Blaire's smile immediately vanished because of what she hears.
"What?" Light asked but i didn't looked at him, my eyes were just stuck towards Blaire who's looking at me questionably, then immediately it became disappointed.
"U-uhm," I opened my mouth to took back what Light has said but before i could utter another word Blaire looked at me and our intertwined hands again. Then she disappointedly shook her head at me then ran away.
"Blaire!!" i promptly shouted.
I quickly looked at Light who's still confused of what's happening.
"C-can you stay here? Please, i'll be back please?" i beggingly said.
Light nod his head even when confused.
Because of that, i immediately ran after Blaire don't even know where did i get the strength.
"Blaire stop!" i shouted not minding the people around us.
"Blaire it's not what you're thinking!" i almost lost my breath while shouting those words but Blaire still didn't stop running.
"Please listen to me!" i begged while catching my breath.
"Don't you trust me?!" Finally, it seems to be effective because Blaire suddenly stopped her track and harshly faced me.
"Then what is it? What should i be thinking huh?Sam? Is that holding both of your hands thing part of the matchmaking process hu–"
"Definitely!!" i exclaimed.
"Then being his girlfriend also?!!!" she exclaimed, her tears are streaming down that made me strengthless again.
"Blaire...p-please, listen to me first..." i begged.
"How?" she weakly asked.
"I already saw everything Sam. Everything!!" she shouted.
I weakly shook my head to answer while my shoulders are shaking hardly.
"It's not. You got it wrong," i bravely defended deep inside me became strengthless out of the sudden when i realized i lied again.
You're a big liar and traitor Sumer.
"I..." i swallowed.
"I told you right that he's too hard to approach?" i asked and looked away.
"Then it would be easy if you'll intertwined your hand with him?" she raised her brow.
"It would be easy if you'll be his girlfriend?" she added.
I frustratedly cupped my face and shook my head and bit my lip.
"Blaire...don't you b-believe me?! I'm doing those for you. Holding his hand has no meaning, what Light said about the girlfriend thing is just a...dare. It's just d-dare, it's not true. Please believe me...p-please,"
And yes i lied again, but it's just a white-lie. I'm doing this for her.
"Don't you t-trust me?!" i don't know where did i find some courage to utter those kinds of words.
Blaire stared at me like she's examining me.
"Please?" i begged again.
I approached her stares with confident the reason why minutes later, she then sighed and became calm.
"Of course i do. But my reaction isn't forbidden right?"
"Yeah sure. I understand," i looked away.
"Uhm, i'm sorry. Sam," she apologized using her tiny voice.
I blew a breath and forcefully smiled.
"I'm sorry too..." i guiltily apologized for all the things i have done.
I promise, truly this time that i'll make these things up. I'll let it flow to it's original and right place. I can't stand seeing Blaire, my best friend like this. I can't hurt her anymore, even if it means I'll sacrifice my happiness. I will promise to do it for Blaire. She don't deserve me, and the things i have done to her. I will surely make things right.
"I'm so sorry Blaire..." i weakly apologized again not voicing out my mistakes to her and tightened my hug even more.
I felt that she tap my shoulder that made me weaken even more.
"It's okay Samy. I'm sorry too, for judging you that fast," she replied.
I tightly bit my lower lip and just keep quiet.
"I'll go to Light now. S-since you two have met. I'm going to introduce y-you to...him," i difficulty said.
Blaire seems to not mind the way i spoke because she excitedly nodded like she only understand the things i said.
"Alright," she agreed.
I tried my best to mirror her smile and nod.
"I'll go now?" I pointed the area where i left Light.
"Sure! Just text me after, 'kay?" she excitedly said and waved her phone.
"I will," i tried my best to sound happy.
Blaire happily hugged me again but just a quick one.
"Thank you Samy. You're the best!!" she exclaimed.
"You should go now, thank you again Sam. You don't know how happy i am right now!" she again exclaimed.
"No worries Blaire, it's my job," i nearly smiled bitterly because of the latter words i said.
It is truly my job, it's just my job. Blaire and Light are just my job so i don't have a place on Light's life. What a world.
After a few minutes of Blaire's never ending thank you, she finally let me go to back to Light.
Having a light feeling, i walk back to where i left Light.
I saw him pacing back and forth while both of clasping both of his hand that made me confused.
"Light, what are you doing?" i asked that made him stop walking back and forth then faced me.
I saw how relaxed he was when seeing me and closed our distance. "Oh, fuck!"
"What's wrong with you?" i asked when he immediately hugged me. He shook his head and lowered his hand to my stomach. "I'm never this worried in whole life, fuck!" he continued murmuring.
"Why did you ran like that? It can affect our baby, love. It could affect our baby! What's really you're problem huh? In this past few days, i know that you have a problem. Fuck! Fuck this! Is that Blaire has something to do with you?" he furiously asked.
I was in awe while listening to his rants, while looking at his worried face with has lots of sweat. He really worried a lot.
"Do you feel something? Is your abdomen hurting? Come on tell me! Fuck!" he asked while holding my stomach.
By the scene, something seems to caress my heart while looking at him worrying about our so-called baby's state.
"N-none," my voice croaked.
Something caressed my heart to the point that I wanted to cry again.
How can i deserve this? Light don't deserve my lies. I'm making him like a fool. I don't know how to forgive myself anymore.
"O-our baby's okay..." i hardly tried my best not to cry because of too much pain while looking at Light who became comfortable after what i said.
As soon as possible i really need to do my job faster.
I can't do this anymore. Enough. I need to stop this, as soon as i can. I don't know how to handle this. But for Blaire, i will and can overcome this.
I opened my mouth to talk, not for something else but for Blaire only.
From her likes and dislikes to her dreams. I told Light all of it. At first he was again confused why i am doing it but when he saw that i was too determine to tell it to him, he finally made himself to not complain and just let me.
That made my heart melt, this guy!! He's making this tough for me! But everytime my heart acts to melt it suddenly broke when i saw the same kind of amazement on his eyes when i stated some amazing facts about Blaire.
Luckily and miraculously i manage to tell him all of those, without walking out because of his reactions. Doing that thing was like killing my inner self slowly or i was like doing a suicide but i already functioned my mind to continue and finish doing it.
So that my guilt wouldn't kill me anymore. Because I realized that it's better to be killed by pain while doing the right thing than feeling the best moments by doing the wrong thing then be killed by guilt after.