Their date happily ended except me. Of course, I'm out of the picture. But what surprised me the most is when Blaire informed me that they're having their next date.
I felt so stupid and ashamed when thinking that I'll have another sex with Light, if Blaire wants another date. When there's none, Light even seems to forgot my presence already. He seemed to enjoy Blaire's company that he forgot that their was once a Sumeria Lovelle Teniroso, who messed his life. But why bother to look back at the past anyway when he have a wonderful present and bright future ahead.
After their second date, not just so long. Blaire informed me again that they'll be having another date. Then another, and another and another. I counted and they have a five dates in just two months. They must be enjoying each other's company. It's great for them, not for me.
I took a deep breath before focusing to the project I'm currently making. I need to finish this today, because i need to pass this tomorrow so that i could reach the deadline since the next two weeks will be our graduation already.
I was about to cut a paper when a memory with Light suddenly flashed my in head. It was when he helped me in making my project.

I bowed down my head to look at my thumb. I caressed the part where i accidentally cut it using a scissor when Light asked me about my plan after giving birth. I also remember how he pulled me towards the C.R to wash it. I missed how he cares for me.
Where he must be right now? Is he with Blaire? Does he cares Blaire the way he cares for me also?
I tightly closed my eyes to avoid thinking those things. If Light is with Blaire right now or not. Or if he cares for Blaire the way he cares for me or not, i shouldn't care anymore. I don't have any business with them anymore. I don't even know if could still last my friendship with Blaire after all this because I know it would be awkward on my part. Eventhough i manage to smile for her this past days, i don't want to pretend anymore. I'm sick of it. I wanted to be free, to express my feelings.
And i know my self that in my inner me, i kind of hated Blaire even if she don't have any mistake. I was the one who have mistaken but I'm also a human not a saint. So i couldn't help but to have some impression to her, but I'll never let it grow and use it to ruin them. I just want to be free, that's all.
***
I gracefully entered our University's gate while holding the project i made yesterday. Even with the memories of Light keeps on flashing in my mind, i finished my project that day so i felt so good today since i don't have any things to think of anymore. Today, tomorrow and the next day, i don't have any serious class anymore because we'll be all preparing for our graduation.
I walked straightly to the pathway to my professor's office so that i could pass the project i made first. And then since my classes will in one hour from now, i planned to go to the abandoned building where I once think of having a suicide. I want to see if Angelica, the woman who saved me, is still there. I want to visit her and to know her situation and hopefully, she's all right.
I'm walking peacefully when..."Samyyy!!" An active voice called me.
I looked at my left side and saw a widely smiling and waving Blaire.
I hurriedly looked for my phone while swallowing hardly. And as i looked for my phone, i opened it and acted like someone called. I looked at Blaire then pointed my phone that's now on my ear before running away, not looking back to her.
Yesterday while thinking for Light and Blaire. I settled to myself that i need to avoid them. To stop hurting myself, because i may not admit it sometimes but everytime i think or saw them there's a big part of my heart was shattered. I got always hurt, so to avoid it, i will avoid having an interaction with them until i finally forget about their existence. It may sounds selfish but i want to focus on myself now, only to myself.
I successfully reach my professor's office without having a close-contact with Blaire, and i also successfully passed my project. Thats why right now, I'm already walking towards the abandoned building. It was located at the very back portion of the University.
I smiled as i finally saw the huge building with the mosses around it's wall.
I attempted to take another step closer to the building when my world suddenly seemed to spin. I stopped my track. My vision went blurry the reason why i took a step backward while holding my forehead.
I closed my eyes tight while slowly sitting down so that I'll never fell on the ground.
I took a deep breath three times until it finally go away.
Shit.
What's gotten to me?
It's weird and it's my first time experiencing it since i'm not a sickly person.
I planned to continue walking towards the building after fixing myself, but stopped when i saw my watch. It's already time for my first class.
I took a deep breath before looking again at the building. I felt so sorry for not having a chance to see Angelica if she's still there, i just hope that she's fine right now and she'll heal soon so that she could see her daughter.
I stood up from sitting on the ground and feel my self. When i felt that I'm finally alright, i step again to go to my classroom.
Thankfully, I'm not yet late as i arrived at my classroom, our professor's still preparing something in her laptop infront. So i silently entered and looked for any vacant chair, but i must be so unlucky today. All of my classmates were present and the only vacant seat is my original seat. Beside Blaire, so no choice, i walked closer to her and seated beside her. As i seated, the professor finally spoke up so i focused my attention to her presentation. It's all about our coming graduation, so i needed to listen to this.
But Blaire seems not interested with it because she keeps on nudging me.
"Samy...." she even whispered to get my attention but i just acted like i heard nothing.
But her nudging me continues. "Samy!" She exclaimed but of course it's just a whisper.
"What?" i asked while myq eyes is still on the board.
"Let's eat together—"
"Sshh..." Our classmate behind us hushed, the reason why Blaire stop talking.
I smiled secretly and looked at my classmate who silent Blaire, i owe her big time.
But Blaire just couldn't be stop, she keeps on nudging me. So i just looked at her lazily and pointed our professor in front. "Let's listen..." i stated then go back listening.
I feel Blaire took a deep breath. And was about to nudge me again when her phone in front of us suddenly lit up because someone called. Using the side of my eyes, I got a chance to see who called before Blaire directly get it. The caller ID was named "My Light". No need to debate who is it.
Blaire excused herself to answer the call and i can't help to follow her using my eyes before breathing heavily.
Bitterness started to fill me, but i immediately stopped it and listened to our professor again.
This is my first time listening carefully to my professor. Way back on my lower years I don't remember me focusing on the one talking in front because I'm always talking with Blaire. We had a lot of topic and never ran out of it that's why, but right now something change so everything changes also.
It was almost our dismissal when Blaire go back inside. And i can't help but to entertain those bitter feelings. How sweet right? I snorted and just shook my head.
I should stop this. I should avoid thinking about them for own sake.
As i finish putting all my things inside my bag, i immediately walked towards the classroom when a hand hold my elbow.
I don't need to look back to see who's it but to respect her, I looked back.
"Samy, Let's talk please..." she begged.
I looked at her before looking at her hand on my elbow. Then slowly getting her hand away from it.
"I'm sorry." I pouted to act genuine. "I really have a lot of things do,"
"Can't that wait? Please, i miss you already." She pouted, but I wasn't get attached to it like i used to. I felt bad because something really change between us but at the same time it's still good so that i could really avoid them.
I shook my head. "I'm sorry this is really important." I said then ran away. Even when Blaire's keep on calling for me i didn't look back until i never heard her anymore.
For my first day, i kind of succeeded.
Avoiding to think about Blaire and Light was really a hard task. I always find my self thinking about them every single time but thankfully i always stop myself and do things that could stop me thinking about them. But avoiding them personally is more easy. For the next days, i always succeeded on avoiding Blaire. She seems to be so confused about it but she just let me. But everytime she get a chance she always asked me for us to talk.
Me avoiding Blaire took almost two week. And i can't believe it, tomorrow would be our graduation and still Blaire didn't get any chance to talk to me. And guess what? On those
past days, i felt so alive and free. I may think about them but i never felt sour anymore or i never feel some bitter feelings anymore but i can't deny to myself that I missed them. Both of them.
I finished curling my hair before getting my bag on my bed. I'm going to school today for our last practice for our graduation tomorrow.
I walk through the pathway to go out of the boarding house when I smell something that made my vision suddenly goes black. My sight is kind of twirling then my tummy feels so unpleasant. I felt so dizzy and i suddenly covered my mouth when i suddenly want to vomit. I ran faster going out of the boardinghouse and find a trashcan to let my self vomit.
I was busily vomiting when a big hand softly caresses my back. But when I again smell that bad smell that causes of me vomiting, i forcefully pushed that person away and finish vomiting. My feeling is still unpleasant but not like earlier. I wiped my mouth with my handkerchief and looked to see who smell like that.
"Light..." I muttered.
"Hey..." He spoke and slowly walk towards me but when i again smell that bad smell, i immediately raised my hand, signing to stop him.
"Don't go near me!" I said while covering my nose. He looks confuse with what i act, but he still follow what i said. He keep a distance between us.
That's i felt ease and just stayed on my position, still in awe of his sudden presence. My jawed slightly dropped when i saw his face. He looks so tired and worn out. He seems like he's not sleeping this days.
My heart flinched.
If on the past weeks i felt so alive and free, right now the momentum suddenly stopped because as i stood meters away from him. I felt like freedom less, i badly want to express my feelings for him. I badly to ran and hugged him then show how i missed him and asked why he looked like that but i know I have no right to do it that's why I tried my self to stay standing and just make myself looking unto him feel enough.
I let my eyes show all my emotion, because we're starring deeply at each other. I may miss him and such, but I'll never lose my sanity right now because in the end i know that I will still be a loser. So my plan to avoid him and Blaire is still on going.
I also stepped one step backward.
"Hey..." he spoke.
I shook my head.
"Sumeria..." he softly called but i looked away.
"Hey!" he called when i acted to turn my back to him. "Sam, please...talk to me...." he difficultly begged and i can't help but to turn my head to look at him.
"Stop bothering me. Go to Blaire," i stated before fastly running away. He's still calling me but i used a lot of strength to not be affected with it. He has Blaire already, and I'm out of the picture so it might be hurtful to think, they must not care for me already so as me.
I successfully arrived on the University and successfully avoided Light.
Why all of the sudden they both want to talk me? Is it because I'm their matchmaker? Well, they must know that I'm not already. So, they must not bother me another and enjoy each others company since they enjoyed it so much on those past two months.
I entered our University's gate when another person, i don't want to talk suddenly block my way.
"Samy..." she spoke and with her begging eyes.
My forehead, creased a bit when i saw her look. Like Light, she also looks so tired and sleepless. I'd this what they call couple goals? Seems weird.
"What's happening to you?" I can't help to ask.
She bowed her head and attempted to hold my hand but i immediately moved it away.
"Are you avoiding me?" she asked and also creased her forehead.
"No," i shook my head.
"Stop lying, why are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong? Am i a bad bestfriend to you?" she dramatically asked.
I sighed. "Blair's stop this nonsense,"
"No!" She shook her head.
"You know what? Last two month was the best month in my life but this last weeks weren't. They're my worst weeks my of life..." she said and bowed her head.
"Blaire stop, there's a lot of people here," i consciously stated because we're in a hallway.
"I don't care," she replied. "You'll never let me talk to you in private anyway. I badly want to talk to you because you're the only person i wanted to talk to but you're avoiding me,"
I scratched my head before pulling her to a more private area. "Now talk,"
Blaire eyes goes misty and later on, her tears is starting to fall. "Light is the sweetest person but at the same time he's the ruthless, but I still loved him so much!" She exclaimed and continue crying.
"He's dumping me right now when those last month, he's enjoying my whole body!" she added that made me stunned.
So, something happened to them? Like what happened to us?
I looked at Blaire who's painfully crying in front of me.
And i can't help but to feel her. My heart feels so heavy by the thought them making love.
But what makes my heart heavy more is that, we got by a same man.
We fell in love with a the same person. And now got hurt by that person. But still loving that person.