The day that I've been waiting has come. With my school mates whose wearing their maroon and white graduation suit, seating in their designated chair and department. I patiently waited for my name to be called, and to be officially called as graduates. To prove to myself that i did great even with the hardships that i faced.
Our school auditorium was huge and filled with plenty of people, both graduates and watchers. But my mind is only fucos on a certain man, few chairs behind me. There's a mirror in front of us, so i could always saw his stares through me. He's staring me, my back with full of emotions that i couldn't name.
I looked at Blaire who's two chairs away from me before looking at Light again at the mirror. Why is he looking at me like that? After he do Blaire, he still have the guts to stare me like that? I know i don't have any right to complain, but i have my worth also.
I let out a deep breath then blink my eyes plenty of times before giving all my attention to what's happening in front. Our department is already called but i don't know why I'm exempted. I was not called and now this last department is about to be finished but i still didn't hear my name also.
I swallowed and seated properly. Maybe it isn't done yet.
"And for our most special graduate!" the host announced. "For our Zuma Cum Laude in this school year! Please a big round of applause to Miss Teniroso, Sumeria Lovelle F. Our Zuma Cum Laude, having an average grade of A plus!" she added.
But—wait?!
Is that me?!
I looked in front, while many heads are being turned towards me. I swallowed before slowly standing up from my seat. I felt some overwhelming feelings and chills that i couldn't help but to have the side of my eyes heated. Meeting those stares from my school mates until I reached the stage.
I met those big smiles from the guest on stage the reason why i can't help but to smile also. I'm the Zuma Cum Laude of our school, how did i do it? !
I shook hands with them one by one then face the crowd. With a shaking hand, i replace the tie of my graduation cap from left to right before proceeding giving my speech because it's the tradition, for who ever be the Zuma Cum Laude will be the one to give the speech before closing the ceremony.
While giving off my speech i couldn't help but to reminisce all the joy and hardships that i experienced in this school. I gave motivational quotes to my co-graduates. And saying thank you to all people that became part of my life as a student and to those who'll be part after this. Before finally ending my speech.
Then right after i gave my speech. The ceremony finally closes but the graduates are stopped to go home yet because the school sponsored a feast were all of the students are invited to eat for the last time in this University. The idea seems nice because this University really holds a lot of memories to all students, especially me. So i also accepted it, besides i have no food in my boarding house because I'm being thrift so i really need to join the feast to save money.
But before going to the hall where the feast is held, i first proceeded to the toilet because i needed to pee.
As i reach the toilet, there's no one inside so i directly peed then proceed to the sink to wash my hand and retouch my make up also. While retouching, the door creaked indicating that someone is about to come in. I waited for that someone while putting some foundation, when it finally entered, the brush almost fell from my hand.
I looked at him through the mirror and he looked at me also.
"Hey....This is for girls only," i informed.
I saw him nod before clicking something on the door that made me feel nervous. Did he locked it?
"What are you up to?" i asked and raised my eyebrow, to hide my nervousness. Unlike, earlier and on the past days he didn't looked like worn out already. He looks so handsome and fresh now, he even shaved. I don't know where he did it but I think he even took a bath!
He slowly walked towards me that made me startled, i out of my mind put my foundation and brush inside my bag while looking at him.
Thankfully he stopped just in front of me.
I looked at to him and met his stares. And what makes me more felt nervous is his stares. His stares are back!! It's again soft and tender like he used to when we're still together, when I'm still...lying.
"Light..." i couldn't help but to utter it. I think I'm hypnotized by his stares.
"Hmm..." he replied beforehand raising his hands and put it on my waist. "Hey," i complained.
"Sshh..." he stopped me and brush my lips using his finger. When he seemed I'm not going to talk anymore, he slowly caress my face.
"Love, I tried to love Blaire like how you wanted me to do. But i can't." He faked a smile. "Are you really serious about matchmaking us?"
"Light," i breathlessly stated. "I'm sorry..."
"Love—"
"Elle, call me Elle," I cutted him off.
"Damn..." he whispered.
"Light, you already have a responsibility on Blaire. Please stop running away from it," I advised even if how it hurt me.
"I don't have..." he answered whispering. "I only have on you,"
I felt like something caresses my heart when he said it but i know i shouldn't entertain it. "Light, don't make this hard for us both."
I'm already fine this past few days. Why he suddenly ruined it?!
He shook his head before facing up and heavily breath out. "Is this what you make happy?" he asked while still facing up.
I swallowed and feel how heavy is my heart right now already. I wanted to scream 'No', i wanted to tell him how much i loved him and i wanted to him how much it made me upset. But i know as my rule as a matchmaker, i have no right. Fuck! Why did i make rules that aren't making sense?! But because I'm a woman with one word.
"Yes. This is what makes Blaire happy so..." I answered while pinching my thumb.
"Really?" he softly asked, now already faced me.
I slowly nodded my head that made Light nod also.
He slowly hold my hand then eventually creep towards my waist and pulled my body towards him. Since the past months, i again feel the heat. The comfort of the heat of his body.
With a heavy heart i closed my eyes, and tried my very best to not let any tears.
"I hope you wouldn't forget me. A fucked man, who's crazily in love with you but because what makes you happy is when i love your best friend. I'll try, I'll try hard." He said in reassurance.
No!! Don't!! Is what my heart and mind screamed but i let him do it and hold my breath.
I let go of his hold and nod to him then give a small fake smile. With still holding my breath, i pointed the cubicle and i hoped he get what i said because i immediately walked inside then locked it.
Then as i finally did it. I finally breath and stared lifelessly on the wall. I slowly walk towards the bowl and sit. Then out of nowhere, my tears are slowly started to fall.
I don't knows what to resonate anymore. So i just let out every single tears that my eyes wanted to give, until i feel nothing. Then after it i feel fine already.
And when i felt fine. I stood up, wiped my tears then go out from the cubicle I'm in. I smiled lifelessly when Light's presence is already nowhere to be found. I walk closer to my bag that i didn't know i left earlier and retouch my make up again before finally going out.
I walked to the hall to eat. I'm already starving that's why when i got inside, i immediately got myself a plate and grab any food on the buffet that looks yummy. Then find myself a table to start eating. I'm not wrong, all of the food that i get was all good!!
I'm almost done on eating my food when i saw Light and Blaire together. Blaire looks so happy but i couldn't recognize what emotion Light is giving.
They walk towards the buffet that made me eat slowly. Blaire is saying something while looking at the foods. She bring her hand up and picked a shrimp, I remember it was her favorite food of all time, then she's about it eat when she smelled the shrimp. I saw her creased her forehead and smell again the food when she almost vomit.
My eyes goes big and completely stop eating. Light noticed her and immediately caressed her back.
I blink, then looked away.
But still out of curiosity, i slowly looked back towards them when Blaire almost fell down on the floor but Light immediately catch her. She passed out?!
Most of the people that noticed what happened to her got panicked, some says maybe she's sick, some says maybe she's allergic to the shrimp which is both impossible.
"Or she's pregnant?" A sudden guess to an old lady made everyone near Blaire stop and silent, even me.
I remember...when Blaire begged to talk to me. She said something happened between her and Light then after it, Light became cold to her. Must be it?
My hand became cold because of that thought. I keep on looking what's happening to them.
"Bring her to clinic. I'm a retired nurse, and saw some extra pregnancy test there. I could tell," the lady ordered and walked first.
Light immediately nodded and followed her order. And i couldn't help but to stood up from my seat and emotionless followed them.
When we got on the clinic, i stayed outside and preferred to eavesdrop to what they're talking than going inside.
"Hija, good that you're finally awake," i heard the old lady spook.
"Uh, what happened?" i heard Blaire asked that made me stood up straight.
"You passed out when you smelled the shrimp. I checked your vitals and i could tell that someone is forming inside you. Here, three pregnancy tests so that we could be sure," the old lady.
"Huh?" Blaire said confusedly. "O-kay," she after a awhile.
"It just need few drops of you're urine," the old lady informed.
After it, the whole clinic goes silent. I couldn't hear anything, even Light. I couldn't hear him talk. Could it be?
I strengthlessly laid my back on the wall of the clinic.
He must be happy right? He's really not an infertile and he'll be now a father like what he wishes.
That broke me so much.
"Ma'am!!" Blaire exclaimed.
That made me alerted.
"How's it?" Light finally spoke.
I bit my tongue while holding my hand tightly.
"Two lines..." Blaire said almost whispering.
"There it goes. Congratulations!! You're pregnant, from my test. You're one month pregnant. Take care of yourself and I suggest you visit an obgyne so that you'll keep your safety so as the baby's. I'll be out now. Mister, take care of her alright?"
Without that, i completely burst out. I couldn't feel any emotion but the deepest of me was hurting a lot. I couldn't understand my self right now.
This is what i wished for them right?! I should be happy!
I tried and forced my self to celebrate and be happy for Blaire. But i only could feel bitterness, in my whole system. I could only feel emptyness, nothing else.
That later on, for the second time around on this day. My tears is starting to fall.
I immediately covered my mouth with hands and ran away from the clinic to avoid hearing them talking.
Too much happenings to be happy on my graduation day.