It's all happening too fast, but they all saw it as normal, I don't see it like that, losing my mum today and changing home tomorrow. I know I am not to be left alone at home just like that, Mr Peter made sure all of us slept at my home together last night, despite the day being a tragic one, Mr Peter found a way to make it lively last night, we had a memorable night, Rose didn't bother sleeping over, who is she going home to?, I never spoke to her about going home last night, didn't want to open a healing wound, still suffering from mine.
     “ I think this is all, I don't think there's still anything in here left for you to pick up ”, Steve said, carrying a box loaded with few of my mum's stuff. They made sure I won't be taking my clothes with me, promising that I would be getting new ones after now.
     One of the clothes I am never going to let go is the one left for me by my Dad, his suit which is still well packaged ever since his demise.
     “ I wonder if you're still going to be showing up at the gym, you know Brian is no more there with me and I guess he was the only reason for you to show up there ”.
     I took in all her words, she's probably signalling me that she wants me to keep showing up at the gym. Brian is still out there somewhere, I know that, but where he is, I don't know, if only I can happen to set my eyes on him one last time and let him know how sorry I am for letting him walk away without saying goodbye, without even trying to get him to stay back, I'm sorry Brian, I said in my mind, looking up at Rose, tears clotting her eyelid, looking like she has a lot of things she wants me to know, yet can't say anything. I looked behind me and saw that Steve was almost ready and waiting for me, Mr Peter has already left quite earlier for his business and Rose here can't come with me right now because she has to go back to the gym and open up for the new day.
     “ I guess I will see you later ”.
I let go of her hand, tears rolling down from her cheeks, I am now the only connection she has linked to Brian, I know my presence would always mean a lot to her and I will always try my best to always be there for her. I walked into Steve's car, looking back through the side mirror and saw her still standing on the same spot, hands covering her mouth as she was in tears, I don't know why she's crying so profusely like this, but going back there will make me breakdown in tears too, something I don't want to do in front of her again.
     I couldn't get the memory of her crying out of my head, the picture is so vivid in my mind that it feels like it's repeating again, as much as I wished to console her, I don't want to let her see how weak I am again, in this situation we are in, I should be her stepping stone, not her agony partner. Those tears wasn't actually for me, I just served as the tool that ignited the spark which made her to feel her brother's absence, she haven't taken her time to agonize her brother's absence yet, her mind has been quite busy for those period of time, but now, right now, Brian is definitely the only picture in her head and my mum in mine.
     “ This is your new home Ben, I hope we have a great start this time, leaving our past behind ”.
     His face were all smile as he speak, assuring me that I am his responsibility for this period of time.
     “ No need for the formal speech and forgetting of our past, that same past brought us here, so we should embrace it ”.
Steve has this look on his face, showing that he is a bit confused, yet impressed by my words. All thanks to my father for his speeches which I have happened to grab as much as I can, I can still remember so many of his sayings, depending on the occasion it calls for it.
     “ I will show you around when we return, but for now, we have to get you some pieces of clothing, believe me when I tell you Ben, this is a huge first step if you understand the situation well, and I promise that I will guide you throughout this process of change ”.