Without hesitation, I jumped out of my sitting position, eyes still fixed on the empty bed, trying to put everything together Inside my head, how?, Where is my mum?, I looked at Steve again, he was now standing up, eyes watery and seem to be on alert with an arm raised a bit high at the level of his elbow.
     “ You have to calm down Ben, we will always be here for you ”.
     “ F**k you Steve, I never asked you to be here for me, where the f**k is my mother ”.
     Rose held my arm behind me, her hold was calm and gentle, I wanted to push it away but she was firm, she actually meant no harm, just trying to be here for me at my weakest. I was expecting something like this to happen anytime soon, I was already braced up for it, but I never knew that it will still feel this way in reality when it occurs, might definitely run crazy right now. I looked up at the ceiling, took a deep breath, felt my tears ran down my cheeks, oh mum, where are you?.
“ Where is she right now?”.
     I headed to the mogue where they had kept her, I still can't believe that my mom is gone, I was aware this was to happen, but it seems too early. Was that the reason the doctor came to the room with a file?, How come was I clueless to realize that the time was almost over for me and my mum.
I don't want to go inside there, but I can see Mr Peter in there with the doctor, then lies the covered body of my dead mum right in front of them.
I turned around, was about to walk away, but saw Rose distance away in the corridor, Steve was standing at her side, both of them fixed there eyes on me, waiting for my next move, maybe they thought I am going to go crazy, but no, it was fine, I already expected it and have gone through miseries because of it in my head. I walked past them, sitting right on the bench where I laid on Rose's laps when I was drunk. The truth in this is, I am not the only one suffering here, so I don't have to act like I am the worst person going through sh*t this time, Brian is no where to be found and Rose is the one bearing the pain of reality, not just that her brother ran away, but he has just a few weeks to live, meaning that Rose possibly has no chance of seeing her twin brother again.
“ I will always be here for you Ben, I promise you with my heart ”.
     Both of them have felt something like this before, so they probably understood what I am going through, Steve already lost his mum as well as Rose who have happened to lose her parents and her twin brother too, yet stood strong, comforting me while I continue to put her through miseries despite trying to make life easier for me, while I continue to chase someone who doesn't want me.
“ I don't know what to say to you right now, I feel like I am out of place to give you comfort, yet I want to be your stepping stone in this hard time of yours, I don't know what you might be thinking right now, but I want you to know that from now on, I will treat you as my blood brother, I cross my heart and promise to die on this words of mine ”.
I looked at Steve, he's so brave, wearing his emotions on his sleeves, one of the things that can't stop my admiration for him, he's definitely a good role model for people who can relate to the way he functions, I really don't know what I would say to someone in the same situation as me right now, but he just gave me hope with his words, he just gave me a reminder that my mum handed me over to a family who can possibly look after me.
“ Thanks a lot Steve, your words means a lot to me and I appreciate your presence here ”.
One person is missing from here, even if we are just going to be friends, that she doesn't find me attractive enough to date me, I still want her to be here, I still need her to give me comfort as my long time friend who began with me at an early age, I feel Rose's hand on mine and I turned to her, she gave me a smile which reached her eyes.
“ Everything will be alright, I promise ”.