* Be you! Love you! Care for you! Say nice things to you! Be good to you! Smile at you! Believe in you! Have faith in you! Don't underestimate you! Give you the chance to rise! You can do it! ----- Queenebunoluwa15. *
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---- Sushie ----
Dreams?
Yeah, I have got lots of them.
I do, really.
But it got to a point where I stopped dreaming.
I really did.
I stopped believing in the beauty of my dreams and when I did, I began to question the meaning of my existence.
Questions like : Why am I here?
What's the meaning of my existence?
Why am I alive?
Were the other day.
It hurts you, When you begin to question your existence.
And as time went on, suicidal thoughts began to creep into my mind before it took over it.
I began to think of taking my own life.
Though I knew suicide is a great sin against God but, I just couldn't help it.
It got to a point where, Whenever I encounter a problem or challenge, Suicide is always the only solution that comes to my mind.
I know it's crazy, really..
But then, I couldn't think straight...
I was so enslaved to my feelings and emotions that I found it difficult to think logically.
It was really hard.
Then it felt like I was drowning, in a deep dark ocean with no one to save me.
Well, who cares anyways?
I began to feel unwanted, unloved, unworthy and so on.
I forgot about my dreams as I began to feel unworthy of them.
I felt like I was not good enough for my dreams so I stopped thinking about it in total.
I lived my life like a living death.
I had no hope at all for the future.
There were times when I needed to prepare for exams and tests
But how could I prepare for those when I didn't even want to continue living?
What's the use of studying to pass a test or an exam when all I want is death?
There were times when I wished I slept and never woke up again to the real world.
Times when I intentionally starved myself.
But well...
No one knew about all of this.
I was dying in silence.
There was no one I could talk to about these feelings and emotions.
Why? Because, I believed no one cared.
I think I was right.
As no one really cared about me.
Or was there someone I missed?
Was there?
It was a really difficult time for me.
I couldn't dream.
I couldn't hope.
I just kept living like a living dead.
Wait, I was already dead emotionally..
I was only alive physically.
But, no one knew this.
I was insulted ruthlessly by my mates.
Their words cut me deep Into my chest.
Yet, I never cried, I often kept a different face.
Perhaps they never knew just how much salt they were adding to my wounds.
They just kept attacking my already wounded heart without care.
Perhaps they weren't expecting their words to get to me that much.
But the truth is, it really did.
I was completely broken.
It felt like the entire world was against me.
I lost all hope in people and things.
I felt so unwanted and unneeded that all I ever wished for was to close my eyes and never open it again.
Guess, I had forgotten about the fact that there was someone up there who truly loved and cared for me.
I was too naive to realize that there was a creator who truly cared about me and who only wished the best for me.
I was too blinded by my feelings that I failed to realize that I was alive for a reason.
That I was born for a reason.
That I was existing for a reason.
That I was not born to be a failure.
That I was not born to commit suicide.
That I was not born to give in.
That I was not born to be a slave to my feelings.
That I was born to be the best version of myself!
I guess I had completely forgotten that I was already enough!
I guess I had already forgotten that all that was needed was for me to acknowledge that I had a creator who truly cared about me.
I was naive then, but not anymore.
I am more smarter and self aware.
And that's why, from now onwards I will work hard to achieve my dreams and goals.
I would work hard enough to become the best of me!
This I Promise to do!
* Thanks Lord, for granting me another chance at life... Amen. *
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----- Danny ----
My dreams had always been to be the best of myself and make my creator proud of me!
And that's why all my life I had always worked towards that dream and goal.
It's really hard to stay focused on one's dreams and goals in the world today... But I will keep trying my best and stay on track.
And yeah, I also have a goal and that's to be the best sibling ever to my little sister.
I knew about what she went through and perhaps that's why I have grown to be more understanding towards her.
I also have a feeling that The Lord wants to use me as a guardian angel for her.
And that's why I'll never stop caring and loving for her.
I also promise to be there with her and for her and to help her achieve her goals and dreams.
I also promise to always guide her to the right paths.
And also to be a role model for her.
Am promising to help her learn to love and appreciate herself above anything else.
And I am confident that the Lord will grant me the grace to do all of this.
* Creator, Help me to become the best version of myself.... Amen. *
Right at that moment, there was a shooting star.
And along with it, there was a sound of thunder and lightning.
Which signified that their prayers and wishes were granted.
....
A/N : Take care okay, guys?
Love you all... Muah!