Chapter 37 - I’m better with you
Even on the starry night, the darkness didn't leave him behind. 
The more he wanted to get out of this swamp, the more he was falling inside.
Till now, he was struggling with the complexity of those feelings. The moments spent with Xingyue brought relief to his heart. But why did he want to run away from this?
When he was dying, even though he was alive, Xingyue brought a reason for him to live.
But why did he want to stay away? Why didn't he want to embrace his newfound happiness?
After all, what happened in the past which did not let Xi Song move on?
Why couldn't he open the door of his heart for Xingyue?
Trapped in these troubles, Xi Song sighed exhaustedly after being defeated by fate.
Hearing these problems of his, Han Shuo was also wretched from inside.
After all, they were best friends in the past.
Han Shuo put a hand on his shoulder and tried to console him, but gave up after a while. No one could feel the pain he went through. He lost his first love and lived his life in guilt.
"Xi Song, no matter what, we cannot bring Winter Bear back. She'll be happy to see you starting a new life with Xingyue. Can't you just try to move on?"
His eyes were red, filled with pain and hatred. Hatred for himself.
"You know me the best, Han Shuo. You know my love for her. It's unreplaceable. She owns my heart and forever will."
"And what about Xingyue? Why is she being a puppet between you two?"
"I'll let her go if she wants. We signed an agreement and will have a divorce after two months of marriage." Letting out a breath, he stared at those stars. "She is innocent. I wouldn't play with her feelings. I want to let her find her perfect one."
"Why can't you love her?"
"Maybe, in the next life. I know myself. Having Winter Bear in my heart, I can't give fake happiness to her anymore. I also want to see her happy, but with a person who can love her. And... It's not me, I guess."
"Are you sure you won't regret it?"
A sparse, unpleasant smile appeared on his face. "At least, someone will get genuine love."
He gulped down the pain and stood up. "I have to go now. She may be looking for me."
............................................
Xingyue's POV
After Xi Song left, I was getting bored when some nurses and doctors came inside the room and sat beside me.
It terrified me to see them suddenly. 
My heart almost skipped a beat when they started checking me out.
After a moment, I chose to break the silence and asked them. "Excuse me. Do I know you guys?"
They stared at me with their wide eyes, and that was enough to scare the hell out of me.
I just sat there quietly when one nurse caressed my head gently and said. "Don't be afraid, Xingyue. We all know you. Aren't you the little charm's wife?"
"L-little charm?"
"Agh! She doesn't know his nickname here," another nurse commented.
Slowly, everyone surrounded me and started chatting. "Are you Xi Song's wife?"
"Yes, I am."
Everyone started looking at me with affection and started smiling at me.
"Xi Song is the top-notch surgeon of this hospital, yet he is our little charm. We all aged nurses saw him as our child. He is a respectful and caring person."
While listening to them, I also started having a strange excitement. I had heard nothing like this about Xi Song before. The staff was so humble. They even brought presents for me and called me their daughter-in-law.
All my anxiety melted away in an instant. 
I also started telling them about Xi Song, and they also started telling me funny stories about him.
"When Xi Song was new at this hospital, single ladies made his wardrobe a gift shop. Each day he received gifts but never accepted someone as his girlfriend."
The nurse sitting nearby jumped up and told another story. "Remember when someone tried to hug him. He blushed like a tomato and hid behind us."
Hearing this, we all started laughing. 
"Was he too shy?"
"Not shy. He was afraid of girls."
Their talks made me realize, no matter how rude he tried to be, his innocent soul wouldn't let him be.
Actually, he was like a white paper, with a refined heart. His sensitive side, tender-hearted personality, and warmth made him special than others.
After meeting him, I found how greedy I was. 
To satisfy me, I didn't care about his feelings at all. I pushed him to make dreadful choices, and he happily accepted each thing.
I realized those mistakes, and I wished to change them into something beautiful. But I know, once we made a mistake, we could never change it back. Though God gave me a chance to learn from them. 
And... I found my treasure — it's him.
I may lose the chance to compensate him. But I promised to love him unconditionally and eternally.
All my focus was on Xi Song. Such that I didn't even notice when the nurses stopped talking and started looking at me.
"Xingyue?" A nurse shook my arm, and I came back to reality.
"H..Huh?"
"Are you okay?"
"Ah! I'm all okay."
"Did we disturb you?"
"Not at all. I was getting bored when you all came. Thanks to you, I'm feeling better."
Their faces glowed up with a sweet smile. "We're glad to know. Actually, we are happy to see you. Xi Song always stays away from relationships. But now we rest assured, knowing our little charm has a caring and sweet wife."
"You're flattering me, Aunt Lu," I replied while gazing down.
"Hahaha! You're a nice girl. I'm happy for Xi Song."
We were all so busy praising each other that no one even noticed Xi Song coming inside.
After seeing his staff cheering for me, Xi Song's face looked full of puzzlement.
"Aunt Lu? Aunt Zhang?"
Hearing his voice, everyone started looking at him, and in an instant, they pulled him up and made him sit beside me.
"Ugh! What's happening here?"
Holding his hand, they put it on mine. "Little charm, we'd talk to your wife. She is just like you, made of pure gold. You both take care of each other, hmm?"
I witnessed so much affection that my eyes slowly became soft. I could feel that family feeling.
And with Xi Song beside me, I felt complete.
"Aunt Lu, don't worry. I promise to take care of him."
"A-aunt Lu, I'll take care of Xingyue."
Everyone stood up and applauded us. 
Their smiling faces made me amuse as well. Having a family was not as bad as I used to think.
I could sense the change in my personality. I guess I became a better person because of him.