Xingyue's POV
After reaching the hospital, I took a deep breath and stepped inside. I myself did not know why I came to the hospital.
Everything in that envelope overwhelmed me so much that I felt compelled to look at him.
Flashback
As soon as I opened the envelope, I found Xi Song's letter addressed to Mom. Also, there was a note from Mom with a pen drive stuck to it.
[If you read those letters, watch this too.]
I took out a letter and started reading it. It was the letter written around the time I first kissed him.
Dear Mom,
I know you told me it was not my fault in this, but when I see her being gloomy, the guilt starts eating me from inside. I could not stop myself from telling her the truth. Although I did it to keep my promise to Winter Bear, it felt so wrong when I was with her. She deserves love, and what I mean by that is true love. No matter how much I think about it, I only find myself guilty of ruining her life with false hopes.
I was startled upon reading this. I wasn't aware my love was becoming a burden on him. If only he could be honest with me, I wanted to at least make him feel less miserable. I could slow down to create enough space for him to come out of the guilt. Instead, I kept on adding until the end.
Taking out another letter, I read it.
It was when we went on our honeymoon.
Dear Mom,
How have you been? I'm feeling like I'm in heaven already. My life drastically changed the moment I fell for her. I could not stop myself from feeling loved when she cared for me. Am I doing it wrong? I know I decided to never receive love after what I did to Li Shing. I promise to stay alone till I die, but my plan seems to change. Unexpectedly, Xingyue created a room for her in my heart, and I could do nothing but let her own my entire heart. Tell me, Mom, am I doing anything wrong by loving her? Is it unfair to Winter Bear?
A tear rolled down my cheek.
I pressed my lips together when I found his last letter to Mom. I wasn't ready to know his final answer.
Flashback ended
I kept on walking without even realising it. The distance felt so heartbreaking. I pronounced a sigh when I heard clicking sounds.
I stared at the media getting ready for some kind of conference. Resting my back against the wall, I kept looking at them from a distance until someone walked ahead, wearing a white coat and looking handsome as always.
My dreadful eyes turned into soulful ones when he arrived.
"Dr. Song, we heard you finally reached the final stage of your research."
"Yes, the research is almost done. I have to thank our director. Without his, I could not reach this stage."
"Are you going to the US for further research?"
"Yes, I am going to the US for research development."
"But we heard you chose to settle there permanently as a researcher."
The moment I heard it, I felt a storm knocking on my heart.
Deep inside, I wanted him to deny it, as I felt helpless.
"Yes, you've heard right. I dedicated my life to my dream. I've worked hard for six years to finally reach this stage. I can't look back."
I squinted. I know it hurts, but I remember how he used to stay up late at night to work on his research. Even if it was hard to say goodbye, I wanted to let go of him to see him flying high and achieving his dreams.
I recalled the final letter he wrote.
Dear Mom,
This could be my last letter to you, as I have chosen to go to the US.
I'm sorry, but I couldn't keep my promise anymore. The day I met her in front of Winter Bear, I saw her eyes swallow, and I couldn't digest the fact that the reason was me. I wanted to see her happy and throw out everything, which made her feel unhappy. I never knew there would be a day when I would become that thing too. I hope letting her go proved to be the right decision. Please look after her, as I failed to do so.
My deepest apology to you, Mom.
If that was what he wanted to do for me to be happy, how could I ruin his happiness and success? I stepped back and back, watching him from afar.
If that could fix our wounds, Xi Song, I hope you overcome every miserable trauma with or without me. Deep inside, I hope my decision was right.
Turning back, I walked away.
Xi Song's POV
Listening to their questions, I tried to answer them wisely. Not until everyone received notification of an article discussing my divorce. The reporters changed the topic and started questioning me.
"Dr. Song, is it true that you're getting a divorce?"
"Are you going to the US because of your wife in the name of research?"
I gritted my teeth, trying to control my anger. But I lost it when I saw Xingyue walking out of the hall. Did she hear the conversation? I shut my eyes and took the mic.
"If there's no other question, I would like to end the conference. Thank you for coming."
Bowing at them, I rushed outside as fast as I could. Still, I couldn't find her. Maybe she left feeling heartbroken again. I gasped. "Why do I always end up hurting you?"
As soon as I came out, I was lost in a distinct ease away from all the noise. I finally let out a sigh of relief.
I was unaware of what I was feeling. At once, it felt peaceful; the next, it turned into grief.
I seemed to ask the same question repeatedly. "Will I regret it? I think yes, but will I stop loving him?" Frowning at my place, I giggled. "I guess no. I will never stop loving the fact that he was my husband, my best friend, and my everything."
I heard a buzzing sound coming from my phone as I checked and saw a text from Ms. Zhang.
Ms. Zhang: Ms. Li, there's an emergency in the office. Please come fast.