After that conversation with Lydia, I realized that there was more sense to it than I thought, I decided that if this feelings was truly one sided, then I've to put an end to it so that I won't end up feeling betrayed or heart broken in the future, something exactly to how I felt when I saw him kissing at the car park with the young lady.
I've stayed for the remainder of the week with no contact, knowing that it would really help my situation, it wasn't easy for the first two days though, but from the third day, having seen my achievements for the past two days, I realized that I was just looking down on myself, I actually do this without extra efforts, you know, going back to the way my life was used to be without much energy lost.
Today is weekend, I have no further plans, not when I've successfully done all that I was supposed to, I was now resting at home, enjoying my weekend. My phone lit up with the name Aiden in front. Wait.... Am I seeing clearly or was this just an illusion because that's what I was hoping for?, I waited, looked at the screen clearly to be sure that I am seeing clearly, to my surprise, I was, maybe he dialed my number out of mistake, probably wants to call someone else but mistakenly tapped on my name, anyways, I believe I have to pick it up.
“ Hello Aiden..... I wasn't expecting your call....” I said, to make him realize that he's actually calling me.
I was expecting him to say, Oh.... I'm sorry, wanted to call someone else but mistakenly contacted you, but he never said that, instead he said something else, something that caught me by surprise.
( “ Hello Benny..... I was wondering whether you've got a free time tonight, really want to see you, we can hang out for some minutes or hours, are you in?....”)
I was taken aback, I can't deny the shock I was going through, for the thousandth time, I brought my phone to my screen to see whom I was really speaking with, because I still can't believe this, but trying not to act too desperate, I agreed with him, he set the time and place for meetup before hanging up.
I wanted to jump out of joy, but no, I took a deep breath and exhaled, I shouldn't expect much, I should just be me, no need to show him that I've fallen fatally for him, I should just put on my pull over and matching track with a white sneaker, then tie my head to a pony and go meet up like a casual friend outing, the mission was to make this feelings die, I have succeeded in avoiding him for days now, I don't have to stir things up again that would end me up in a terrible position.
“ Hello Aiden....” I greeted him immediately I reached him, I was expecting a handshake as usual, but instead, he brought me in into a hug, why is he doing this to me?, Is this all a payback for keeping him alone those weekends?.
We followed together as we began heading doing the street on foot, he had asked me not to come with my car, that it was going to be a stroll, that made me change somethings in my pattern of outfit, not much though, just added a matching cap to cover my head, dressed much like a Tom boy so that my fans wouldn't actually recognize me, don't want any show off in front of Aiden.
“ I waited to see you all week, but it seems like you was way too occupied, so I decided to call you out this weekend....”
Wow..... How can he be so direct about wanting to see me, others might possibly go round about before landing, but he just speaks without any feelings of shyness or acting needy. If he was following me this way, then I believe I would also try to make things easier for him, he possibly thinks of me as another young lady out there who wants men to read their thoughts, maybe I should prove him wrong on that part.
“ Actually.... I was intentionally hiding away from seeing you, I can't be sure of myself not having feelings for you, not when we're becoming so close, so I decided I have to sit out a while....”
He stopped, looking at me, those curiosity in his eyes like, he just wasn't expecting that, I had to stop too, turning around and looking at him too, knowing exactly what made him stop, my directness actually.
He came forward, removing my cap all of a sudden, his actions feeling like he just took my confidence away, making me to look down, those shyness I never knew I had, now visible and clear before me. “ I am wondering how come..... Maybe it has something to do with your outfit, dressing like a boy makes you too confident, maybe you should start dressing like a girl on meetings like this.....” he doesn't sound mad, just shocked, I knew exactly the kind of confidence he's talking about and I knew I had them moments ago when my cap was on, now he's holding them in his hand, he just took it away.
“ If you want me to, then I'll....”
I said those words. Oh God, how did that come out, am I really submitting to him when I don't know his plans towards me, other guys out here won't take chances in stealing this kind of opportunity, seeing a girl letting down her guards for them, but a part of my heart knows that Aiden understands the true definition of value and he wouldn't tamper with it just because he can, rather, he might possibly protect them from being harmed by others.... How did I come to trust this man so much, despite knowing his kind of person?, A player who cares nothing more than a one night stand.