In contrast to some facts that make the reasons for all things very complicated. At that time there were also many other things that even I couldn't handle all of these. On that day, everyone returned to paying attention to the things I did and most of them were inviting into a completely different sensation. This time I noticed another strange thing that even up to this moment is still imagining in my head. As long as this self continues to feel that way, it feels like I can't stop thinking anymore. In the same situation I also realized many things that apparently really led me into various complicated things to this day. I imagined where I would feel that way for quite a long time and to this very second I feel that way and it really pisses me off. After all those things had messed up my mind, at that time I saw the existence of someone who also dragged me into this that only left a scar. This time I still can not handle it and again blame myself. There are many other things that I have imagined until this moment that I feel really fed up with all of it and instead keep coming to me. I started to feel worried again when it started showing and to what extent did I feel this way again. Unlike that one, this time I saw myself in the middle of something that made me feel scared and after that I started to calm down. But it's still on my mind and I hope that this ends quickly. I felt trembling and it actually made me helpless even though I really hate to admit it. I felt that it would only embarrass myself and I have never said this kind of thing to anyone either. It was also at that time that I began to realize one very important thing from all of this that made me unable to sleep.
"Unlucky. What is this?" muttered Julie.
Time goes on and until this second is still the same. I feel that the world is moving too slowly and I really want it to go away. The fact that even brought me into this very thrilling situation instead continues to stick in me until I can't move. After I arrived at their meeting place, at this time I saw a lot of people and they all looked very beautiful. So is my friend. That person who dragged me to this place and that person still continues to talk about really boring stuff as if it's an amazing fact. I only heard a glimpse and now it's different.
"How? Isn't this an opportunity?" my friend said with a very cheerful face.
“What chance? I feel that this is a bit excessive.”
"Hah? Your taste is really weird. Do you know why I came to bring you to this place?”
"Don't know. So what?"
“The goal of course is for you to become someone who knows a lot about the world of fashion and everything else. Do you really want to be a model?”
"But I'm already a model."
“Hey, you still can't be called worthy.”
"What are you saying? Do not talk nonsense! You don't know what I've done?”
"Hey calm down. I'm still not done talking. It's about experience.”
"What?"
Even though there are so many people here, in reality you still feel alone. They were always in groups while I was alone. I feel like a solo singer singing on stage. Their voices sounded quite loud and it made my ears feel uncomfortable. They talk a lot about something that I never even understand and this is where I become a stranger among all of them, my friend is no exception. After finishing talking about that very unimportant matter, I immediately sat down and enjoyed a glass of wine that they provide in this place. This time I will try to enjoy the show slowly and maybe try to finish it. At that time, I saw someone who looked familiar.
“That person, isn't it…” Julie muttered while looking at a woman who looked very elegant and sexy at the same time.
Even though this place wasn't that big, apparently they could hold an event like this in this place. I feel that actually they are doing it on purpose to show off their achievements and that makes me even more unable to understand all of this. Most of them kept looking at me as if they were seeing a stranger for the first time . At that time I was almost annoyed but had to endure until the end. After my friend came back and started talking to me, it felt like I was in between some things that were hard to digest. Right now I also see that there are some people who seem to be really looking forward to this event and they look very enthusiastic. I can imagine that actually they are just amazed and maybe there is something they are after in this place. A sight that is very difficult to avoid even I also think that maybe they are deliberately doing all this just for fun. My mind went back to messing with the good side and in the end there was only irritation and disgust with their noisy voices that kept talking incessantly. I really want to get out of here.
“Oh yeah, have you met that madam yet?” asked my friend.
"What? Why did I meet him?”
“You really are. Look, in this world you have to get to know a lot of important people and I think this is the opportunity I talked to you about earlier. Are you going to miss this?”
"I am not interested."
“Do you want to be isolated? Come on, so far your performance isn't too bad. Are you going to just ignore all of that?”
“Jesus, lower your voice. You're embarrassing."
"Okay. I understand if you don't want to I won't force you. It's just that, this is important advice from me, you better make good use of the opportunity.”
The words that came out of his mouth were indeed endless and now I feel the pressure from him. At that time being myself and living all my life with the peace that I've always made, it feels like this time I'm experimenting with all of that. The feeling of indecision and unwillingness that was in my heart almost broke my mind which was currently fine. I tried to stay calm and suddenly I had to go to the toilet. I left my friend here and walked towards the toilet. After I saw the toilet door, I walked into the room and at that moment I was immediately surprised because there were many women who were dressing up and even talking about something.
'Wow, I knew it would be like this,' Julie thought.
Instantly it just made everything very annoying. I have a feeling something bad is bound to happen. At that time I also did not know what had been heard for a long time. From there I felt that some of those things just happened and only left a really annoying impression. After I saw them several times and heard their conversation, at that moment I didn't understand all of this and instead blamed myself for various things. I can't say it clearly to anyone and that's what's been a hindrance for me now for everything. At that time I also thought a lot about a number of other things that even made it very difficult for me. I've been thinking about a few other things which are just the same as all of those things. After that I also returned with the questions that were in my mind and there were also many reasons why I hated this world so much. At that time I saw many other things that came slowly and instead came quickly. Another thing that strayed toward me and that invites something else instead. In some cases, I was in a very busy situation and I also felt that all of this was only bad for me and at that moment I immediately left. After I reunited with my friends and also a few other people, right now I feel that I should leave before they keep me in this damn place any longer. At first I thought that this would just be a regular banquet and gathering until I finally realized one thing that was really annoying. Even I also saw that it was in this place to the point where I felt irritated over all those things.
"Where are you going?" asked my friend.
“I guess I should go. There are some things I must do. So I can't be here too long."
"What? You're leaving so soon?"
"Yes. Excuse me. Thank you to all of you."
"Wait a minute, there's something I want to talk to you about," my friend said, pulling my hand away from them and now we're on the other side.
"What do you want to say?"
“I know you don't like them all, but are you sure you're going to just walk away and run from all of this? That is exactly what they are waiting for.”
"Good grief. My head hurts so much."
"Hey, come on, just this once, you mingle and don't show everything."
Even though I wanted to be like what this friend of mine said, in the end I felt that all of that was just pure nonsense and that I couldn't handle all of this alone. I realized that they were waiting for the mess I might make and that's what I couldn't find out until now. I was scared a lot and it was even more obvious. This time I was silent listening to my friend's chatter and after that I came back with my friend to see this event end. It was a really troublesome day and until the end all of this never changed. I imagine one important thing.
'I guess this really isn't my world,' Julie muttered to herself.