"Sonia." I heard someone call me. But, I didn't seem to place it and I didn't reply.
I heard the name again and this time it was louder than the previous one. This was followed by a deep nudge and I came back to reality.
That was the moment that I realized that I was lost in deep thoughts and the voice that had been calling was my mom's.
"Are you okay? You just scared me right now." Mom said in a dejected tone, staring at me like someone who has just seen a ghost.
Still haven't exactly found out what the problem was, I didn't reply, I just looked around me to digest everything before replying. "Mom, I am fine. What is wrong?
She kept staring at me like I was just released from a psychiatric hospital. "You mean, you haven't been listening to me all these while? She asked quite disheartened by my reaction to her question.
"I'm sorry mother. I must have been carried away in deep thoughts, so that skipped me. It wasn't on purpose okay, so please don't take it to heart." I replied in a very calm manner as I could.
She looked away, then back at me and nodded, then she smiled briefly before turning her head away.
I figured immediately that what she was saying previously which I couldn't get when I lost myself a bit, must be very important. I could tell that she felt bad that I wasn't listening to her.
In order to appease her or make her feel less bad, I thought it will be nice if I asked her about it. So she could see that I didn't lose interest in whatever she was saying or whatever she has to say.
"So mother, what was it you wanted to tell me? I am listening to you." I said to her, at the same time faking a smile to make it look more real, even though it was quite obvious.
She stared at me for a while as if contemplating whether or not she should tell me what it was. I sat there, waiting for her to spill it. But after a while of her thinking and perhaps deciding, she spoke up.
"I think we should forget it now, we will talk about it later. Right now, I think you need to go to bed, sleep so by tomorrow we will work on fixing all of these." My mother adviced.
I thought about it lightly. It sounded right in my ear, but I wasn't comfortable with the fact that she added that I should go to sleep. By this time, when my husband is out and in an unknown place, who isn't taking my calls. How does she expect me to sleep with that mindset and the thought of it haunting me so badly.
She noticed that I had drifted for a while, so she called my name.
"Sonia. What is wrong? You are losing focus. You are acting so weird and it's scaring me, big time. What were you thinking about just now? Tell me, I want to know." Mother inquired, her face full of worries.
"Mother, I am fine. I am very much okay, so don't bother about me." I replied calmly.
"If you want that, then tell me what exactly you were thinking about that took your mind away, like completely. I am listening." Mother persisted.
I paused for a while, tears almost forming in my eyes. But I blinked rapidly so and opened my eyes wide so it doesn't fall on my cheeks and make it so obvious.
"Mother, you said I should go and sleep and maybe rest at the process, right? I said to my mother, to confirm her statements.
"Yes, that was what I meant." She answered without second thoughts.
"Mother, my husband is outside, maybe far from this house. I don't even know where he is or what he is doing and the worst part of it is that, he isn't picking my calls. All my calls have been left unanswered while he might be taking calls from others. Mother, how do you expect that I go to bed having that thought in my head. You know that isn't possible." I lamented. By this time, I couldn't fight the tears any longer, so I allowed it to fall gracefully on my cheeks.
Mother got up from where she was sitting and came closer to where I was. She held my hands and rubbed it softly like I was a tiny little baby.
"Sonia, sweetheart. Listen to me. I know you might not want to, but I think you have to. Your husband Alex has the right to act any how he wants to tonight, as far as this DNA stuff is concerned. If you trust him so much as you claim, then you shouldn't worry so much, because he won't act stupidly. Tell me, if you were in his shoes, won't you do the same? You come home one day to hear that he has a wife and a son somewhere out there, what would you do? Sonia, what would you do?
I burst into tears. Mother was right. Any man would do that, no matter the kind of trust he has for his woman.
"Baby girl, you need to calm down alright. Give your husband some time to think through and to think straight. That's what a good woman would do. Now, if you know your hands are clean and free from the accusations, then you have nothing to worry about okay." My mother said as she used her right hand to clean off the tears that was on my left cheek.
I smiled casually and answered her. "Mother, thank you so much for your advice. I don't know and I am not so sure that I can do exactly what you asked me to do, but I will try what I can do."
She smiled briefly at me before opening her mouth to say something again. "My dear, there are sacrifices you have to make just to put your family in a better position so all of you can live very healthy and live better, just like other people."
"I understand mother. I will do as you asked me. That's not a promise though, so pardon me if you think I might be doing something else." I said to my mother.
She was more settled this time around, so she smiled and ww talked for few minutes.
"Sonia, go to bed now. You must be tired. So please, go to bed, you need the sleep so well. Your husband is doing fine and as a matter of fact, I know you trust your husband so much. Work on that trust and your mindset as well and you won't get disappointed alright."
"Yes mother. I have heard you so much. Thanks for your advice, mother.
"Yeah, I am your mother, so it's my job to make sure you are okay. Atleast, for the meantime. I will be going to my room now. I want to believe that you will sleep on time?
"Okay mother. I will. Good night."
"Yes my dear, have a blessed night. Remember, don't think too much on this issue okay. We will have the whole of tomorrow to ourselves to sort all of that, alright." She reminded.
"Mother, you have said this a lot. Seriously, I have heard you, so I won't think about it." Then I whispered to myself, "except something prrompts me to, then I can't say I will do as you asked."
I was so much lucky she didn't hear that. If she had heard that, then I will be rest assured that she was not going to leave this place without sitting down once more to advice me.
"I will see you tomorrow then." Mother said as she stoos up from the bed and stretched her body, before walking out of the room and shutting the door behind her.
I got up from the bed and went to the door. I peeped outside, to be sure that she had actually left the place. I didn't see her around, so I was convinced that she had left. I shut the door after her and locked it also, then I went back to the bed.
I lay down carefully on the bed, not knowing what to do next. So, I was thinking lightly, perhaps, I should continue with my crying, hoping that Alex would return home, which doesn't look like it was going to be possible , or I should listen to my mother and sleep, then wait for the following day to let everything fall in place.
I thought that it was much better to sleep off than cry myself out, since that was what I have been doing after my kids got kidnapped. That act didn't bring back my twins, so I guess it won't do this time around.
I decided to listen to the advice of my mother, then sleep and let all my sorrows drown in my tears.