I have been in Nancy's room crying my eyes out and rolling on the bed. Who would have made me believe that such an evil day as this would visit me in my own abode without a hint.
The incident that just occured was still fresh in my head and the more I thought about it the more i cried and strained my vocal cord.
I was speechless, I was becoming insane, I was losing my mind. I just lost my twins, my only children per say and now, I'm on the verge of losing my husband for something I don't even understand.
I know that a lot of women, especially in my level of work and exposure in business has led them into doing some silly things that had made them cheat on their marriage, but I have never for once thought of doing anything that would make me lose my husband, the love of my life. The man I could do anything for, just to prove my love and innocence to him.
The story still get me in great shock and left me in disarray. How can a DNA test of my twins show that it is for another man. When I have been faithful to him from marriage till now and forever will be, till death do us part. How come I am getting a DNA test that is showing otherwise? Is it that I got pregnant in my dream or something? Because I am still trying to fathom this situation and what to do about it.
I have been a faithful wife from day one. Why won't Alex believe that. Doesn't he trust me, for all these years we have spent together, raising the kids up, with him and doing a lot of things that we love and doing so together.. He would have seen some signs of infidelity if I was actually what the results shows it to be. I really cannot believe that this is actually happening to me.
I burst into tears again.
He didn't see me as a cheating wife or a bad mother, because there was nothing for him to see. Can't he see that I really love him to the utmost? Why can't he see that I am innocent, that I love him so much and want the best for him, not any of these.
What will I do about this situation that is planning on eating me up without pity. Now, Alex has left the house for who knows where. If I try giving him a call, he might not pick up, because he was in a very bad mood when he left the house. I really don't know what to do. I cried.
I thought about calling Jessica to tell about the situation and perhaps ask for help and advice. She is in the better position to calm me down and cheer me up, atleast for the meantime before I am able to sort this out.
I picked up my phone and searched for Jessica's number. I dialed it immediately I found it and I heard it ring. She wasn't picking her call, so the call ended after a while. I dialed the number again and again, till I realized that there was no way she was going to answer her phone anytime soon.
I checked the time on my phone and it read, exactly half past nine, 9:30 PM. I was becoming worried, both for Jessica and my husband, especially for the fact that he didn't say where he was going to and didn't bother. I sent Jessica a text message asking her to call me whenever she is in the position to do so. Though I was careful not to drop a hint of what was happening, since I didn't want to trouble her as I had no idea what was wrong.
I decided to call Alex and know if he would take any calls from me. Atleast, it was better to try calling and be sure of what the reply would be, than to assume what I am not sure of. I guess it's worth trying anyway.
I dialed Alex number. It rang the first time, but he didn't answer the call. I waited for about two minutes before trying it for the second time. It rang again, but still he didn't take the call. I thought, if I could try the third time, it wouldn't be a bad idea. So I waited for about five more minutes before I tried his line again. This time, he busied the call. I was deeply hurt and anger overwhelmed me to the fullest. I didn't know what to think again.
Few seconds later, I got a message beep and when I opened it, I saw that it was from Alex. He had sent a message stating that he was not in the mood to talk.
I threw my phone on the floor and broke down in tears again. I didn't care if the phone would break as that was not close to the problem I had infront of me that needed to be attended to. Clutching the pillow so hard, I held into it with great force that I almost got my nails affected and the pillowcase in question started having signs of tear.
I got up from the bed and started jumping up and throwing things on the floor. I was really going crazy and I knew it. Everything was becoming so hard for me to handle. Alex was supposed to be my support while I'm supposed to be his at this moment. But, every single thing was turning against me.
I wondered what I had done to ever this type of treatment from anyone. I wondered how someone would wake one morning and the only thing on his mind is to find a way to make life miserable for others, while they live in peace? Is that possible?
Memories with my kids and husband starts flooding into my mind. I tried so hard so smile, even if it only meant that I raise a muscle to make it look like I did smile, but it wasn't working. The more I tried to, the harder it was for me and I ended up crying so hard than I was previously.
If someone had given this as a prophecy before time, I would have stayed with my kids all day and forfeit going to work, even though I don't joke with my work. Now, look what it has gotten me into. A meeting I went for has cost me my whole life! I feel like I'm single again.
I don't know if I should have good faith and believe that something will be done. I don't know what to think any more. What was that movie I watched about time travel? Maybe I should just Google it and check if it actually exists, because right now, I need all of it. I just want to turn back the hand of time, still with the knowledge and idea I have now.
I got up from the bed in search of the phone that I had tossed away earlier. I found it at the edge of the bed and I picked it up. The screen was slightly broken. That was as a result of the way I threw it, perhaps it landed on a hard core and caused it to break. The accident wasn't so much, but that wasn't what was bothering me at the moment, so I let it slide.
I clicked on Google search and typed, "does time travel exist? I tapped on the search button and various items came up. As soon as I saw fiction and science fiction, I knew my frantic search was all in waste, so I tossed the phone on the bed and went on to cry.
One might say that I am really crazy and insane. I don't know if anyone in my position would have been calmer still. Well I won't say otherwise, because I really am. I mean, who won't get insane when you realize that you can't even do anything to find your only children. The fact that the contacts you think you have can't even help you get what you want in this tight situation. That is when you understand when you hear, there are higher levels to all these bullshit!
Slowly, I was losing it, big time. I couldn't think straight any longer, not without having the thoughts of my kids in my head. It was haunting me badly and i couldn't do anything about it. Could it be that the test result I saw was the reason for the abnormal behavior? I wasn't like this the past few days. Even though I knew I wasn't okay with how slow things were going, but I was managing myself pretty well.
I don't know if my husband's case would be as bad as that. However, since the kids in question are not even here and we don't even have a lead on them yet, I am not sure if I can still trust the fact that my husband might come back to me. Though I silently prayed and hoped that he does come back as I needed him most at the moment.