Am I wasting my energy on this?
The candle I threw, I got it out from the trashbin. I closed my lids, made a few inhales before I went to put it on my desk and then light it up. I stared at the flame and sat on the edge of the bed.
What should I do? What can I do now?
I stared at the candle being lit. The flame will not die unless a wind will blew it out. It will not melt unless the candle melts.
Sometimes the process is not always fast for a candle to die out. Sometimes it is slow, taking its precious time to shine with its flames. At other times the flame is so strong, that it happens to burn the candle quickly. Which is which if I am going to see how this candle’s flame reached its peak?
I smiled at it.
And then at other times the person who lit the candle can get to decide whatever he or she wants to do with it. To wait for it to burn, or…
I blew it…
The flame died too quickly with just one whiff.
I do not want to wait for it to burn completely.
Rising from my seat I went back and threw it back to the trash. Knowing that the past shouldn’t hinder me from making decisions anymore; it should not have the power to control me. It shouldn’t have…
Flashback:
“I doodled you a flower… You want to check it?” Martin was asking Azaiah.
Azaiah was busy staring at the board while the teacher is having lectures.
“It’s your favorite flower..” He was saying it in whispers. He touched her shoulders lightly. His hands didn’t even reach the top of it. He was just careful to lay his fingers.
Azaiah felt it. She turned back and saw Martin snickering like a fox. It reminded her of the video she watched when a girl was massaging the fox’s tummy. She compared Martin’s face to it. An expression of disapproval passed her face. She did a face; she grimaced. His mouth was giving her a half-suppressed smile.
“I drew you a lotus.” He showed it to her.
Azaiah stared at it.
“Macaluso and Fernandez, get out of my class!”
The teacher got mad at them. It was quick of her to put them under her dismissal. So the two get out of her class without trying to come clean about what was done on their part. They just went out. Immediately.
Martin just ended up laughing. “Have you seen her face? That’s terror in as a person.” He said.
The teacher is known to be terror. Azaiah agreed with him.
“Do you want to study? Tilting his head a bit he asked Azaiah. “I’ll take you to the library.” He added.
“I don’t need to always study, Martin. And I don’t need to always stay at the library.” She said almost insulted at his words.
Martin reached to tap her shoulders. He didn’t want her to take it that way. Azaiah tapped him back and laughed because she is fooling around and wanted to get a reaction from him.
“I think we should head somewhere.” She paused as she think about where they should go. Her eyes lit up upon thinking a suggestion.
“Like, let’s go and take me to the cafeteria to check the foods there. And- may you do the honors of pampering me with snacks as you take care of the payment?” She smiled.
“Azaiah, you are not acting like a good student.” He teased her.
Azaiah laughed and it sounded a bit loud. “Studying is exhausting at times.” She told him.
The teacher shouted something inside the room upbraiding them again. Both of them laughed a bit, but they’re trying to suppress it. They walked down the hallway. They don’t want her to get a rise of her blood pressure that’s why they go even when both of them agreed to stay and sat down beside the door to wait for her class to be over.
“About your drawing.” She said while they kept walking. “I couldn’t see it as a lotus.” She didn’t perceived it as one.
Martin stopped. “ That hurt.” He was smiling even after making his response.
Azaiah checked on him and raised her brows. Martin laughed at her reaction.
“Teach me…”
Azaiah made a nod of agreement. “Perhaps I should do it.”
They went to the cafeteria.
“Find us some seats, Azaiah. I’ll buy us foods.” He was eyeing empty spots for them. He stared back at Azaiah. “What do you want?” He asked her.
“I want a mochi.” She excitedly told him what she wants.
Martin moved his head up and down, nodding. He said; “Finally a girl that knows what she wants to eat.” He gave her the compliments. He turned his head before looking back at her. “Be right back in a second.”
“And if you can’t be back in a second?” Azaiah joked.
“A minute will do…” He smiled at her.
She turned and went to pick a table for them. She spot one and went towards it.
“Fruit mochi.” She said while Martin placed the tray on top on the table.
“I bought myself the same exact thing.” He handed her the plate. “The mochi has a strawberry filling. I bought us some strawberry milk to pair up with it.”
Azaiah can tell that it looks good even just by looking at it. She is loving how it looks, it definitely is it’s perfect. “You just made a perfect combo.”
She took a bite. “It has pieces of fresh strawberries.” Her eyes glistened. A spark dance in her eyes as she said it. “The softness of the cream of this mochi, this taste so good.”
Martin smiling, he’s amused. He then opened his lips and told her; “This is such a stretchy pillowly mochi.”
Azaiah agreed while still taking bites. Martin is staring at her. Azaiah looked a bit confused as to why is he staring at her.
Martin: “You have something in your cheeks.”
Azaiah: “Where?”
Martin: “At the side your lips. Here, I’ll get it for you.” *Martin wiped it using his thumb.
Someone coughed.
Ehaan is there standing in front of them and he was staring at the two. “I got bored so I got out and bought myself an ice coffee.” He showed them the cup he is holding.
Azaiah asking him; “And you’re going back?” She asked him whether he planned to return back to their classroom.
Ehaan moved his head in a no.
Martin smirking, he spoke. “Want to sit with us?”
Ehaan eyed him. He went to seat beside Azaiah.
Martin rolled his eyes; “You know that you can sit with beside me right?”
Ehaan glared at him. “I’m watching you. Don’t play with her.” He gave Azaiah a glance.
“I am not playing. My intentions are pure.” He raised his hands out in defense.
“Are you sure about that?” Azaiah is making teases again.
Martin’s eyes lingered to stare at her. “Yes, Azaiah.”
*Awkward silence.
Martin smiled and opened another mochi to stuff it inside his mouth.Ehaan looked atAzaiah and they’re both staring.. Ehaan raised both of his brows almost as if he is saying something.
“I know what you mean. And I don’t have to worry with that, Ehaan. Can’t you see it’s so clear that Martin and I are meant to be something, like good friends?” She was raising her tone as if it is still something of question.
Martin agrees. He was nodding while his mouth is still full and gave them a thumbs up of approval.
Ehaan made a disgusted face after seeing Martin. “Close that mouth.” He told him, before he throw him some tissues.
Azaiah just laughed at them.
Ajax and Calli were there. They both saw the scene.
Calli asked Ajax. “Why are we here again? She saw the three because of their laughs.
“Now I get it.” Her eyes stayed and stare at them. “She looked happy. And how about you, do you think you feel the same thing as she feels right now?”
Ajax’s expression didn’t change. He was still looking stoic. He didn’t comment about what he saw.
“Let’s go back.” He said as he turned his body away, and walk away from the scene…