Azaiah's POV
In sleep I have an escape. Within the 24 hour stay in my grandparent's home wad esxhausting, to think that it is not even a week yet. The ceiling— is the view I have been staring for minutes now; I think I am starting to like what I am doing, staring into nothingness.
It is a pain in the head— to deal with these family issues.
“Give it some time, the problems will have solutions.”
It's what my uncle would say.
“You know why I left to pursue my dreams? Because it's my way out of the problems that happens within our family. Our family is dysfunctional, Azaiah. It started that way and someone has to end it—the cycle.”
And I never fully understand what he meant by that.
I close my eyes and let my mind drift me off somewhere.
He was reading a book. I went up to him. I lean for a bit, slightly slanting my head and put it just above his shoulders. It's enough for me to have a peak of what he is reading.
“You want to read it too?” Handing me the book he's grinning happily.
He looks more handsome when he is happy. And I always wanted him to be happy. To see him having a smile on his face. I smiled back.
“Only if we will read it together.” I said.
He pulled me down. And i softly landed on his lap. His secured and put his fingers on my hips—circling it, touching the thin fabric of my dress. I moved a little—resting my back on him, I placed my fingers on the pages.
We are sitting side by side to each other. I moved my head to look at him.
“Tall grasses are growing with that daisies.” I stated. My eyes caught it— those well-blossomed daisies. It can calm once nerves, good for teas.
Galen chuckled. “I thought I have your attention.” His eyes twinkled with warmth and happiness as he stared at her.
“You do have it. Not until I saw the daisies.” I cannot stop my smile, not that I am staring at his face.
I turned my head lowering it to see the book that was left opened. I immediately closed it. I moved my head to see his face again.
His fingers moved the stands of my hair aside. “You’re beautiful. You are really beautiful, Azaiah.” He muttered almost as if he ran out of air to breathe.
“Breathtaking.”
I was distracted by the way he looks at me. I reached my hands to hold his face.
A giggle came out of nowhere. We both look towards where it came from.
“Cute.”
She was pointing at us before she was twining her small fingers. Her fingers touched her lip. She looks like me. And she looks like Galen. She has our features mixed up together. And it worked. I am staring at her in awe; because the child looks adorable. She went to sit beside us. I can’t help but smile at her.
I opened my eyes. A tear escape from my eyes. This is something I dreamt as a kid. The dream of having a warm and a happy family of my own, something that is lasting. Something that is not like what happened to my parents, a relationship that can withstand the test of time is what I truly wanted to happen to my life.
I continue to lay my body on my bed; eyes are looking above. I am doing the habit that’s been familiar to me-staring at the ceiling. I accumulated enough imaginative ideas in my head that helped me know what I really want. And I have been aching to have it in my actual reality. The vivid illusions I had in my head left me petrified. That I forgot that my what I actual have in my life is far from what’s inside my head. That it became a poisonous obsession too intoxicating to leave. I detest myself- especially now that another dream almost fairytale like that involves him came to visit me while I my brain is unconscious as I sleep.
Such detestable thing to come in my dreamland.
A delusion- a mirage. Such phantasm should not happen anymore. Now that I am choosing to move and forget about him, why is my mind and my heart that stubborn? Why does my heart it still longs for him? Why does my own mind is not wanting to forget him and is still focused into having a desire that is pushing me to go and see him? It’s insane.
I push my body to rise from my bed. I need to do something therapeutic. This has been a drug that my body got addicted into. And it is not nice. My brain, my heart, and myself, needs to go back into being sane. I need to cleanse my thoughts. To purify it from all of these stuffs being stuffed into me because I am acting like a lunatic that is trying to want something badly without any assurance of getting it but still chooses to be hopeful, to be lost in my imagination of creating illusions that seems to be unbreakable no matter how I wanted and how I am trying to break free from it.
My sluggishness went away upon doing some overthinking again. I moved my feet and it touched the cold floor. I want to forget that this dream ever happened.