That night, Nicolas called me. I'm not sure if I should pick it up. I feel stupid for acting like some desperate girl. So shameful.
:Hello?
I answered anyway.
:You okay? What did Martin do to you?
He sounded worried. Or is it just me? Maybe it's just me.
:Nothing. It was just a misunderstanding. He already said sorry though.
I smile weakly, although he cannot see me.
:Oh
Just oh.
:Are you mad at me?
He asked.
:About?
I regret asking that
:Because I didn't kiss you?
I curse myself. I bet everyone has noticed now how desperate I am to kiss him. Ugh, stupid!
:Why should I be?
I tried to hide the truth. I was actually mad at him. I was disappointed, to be honest.
:I don't know... Just maybe?
He sighs.
I was just disappointed.
:Sorry
What? Did I say it out loud? Ohmygod, he must think that I'm so desperate for him to kiss me. I was embarrassed that he heard me.
:Stop. It was stupid. Don't talk about it.
I was totally ashamed.
:I was disappointed too. I didn't take the chance when I had it in front of me.
He sighs. What?
:Tell me, do you really want to kiss me back then?
I wanted to say yes, but I don't want to sound desperate. I wanted to say no, but I don't feel like lying.
:Maybe?
I don't know. He must think that I'm madly in love with him right now, oh gosh. Will he hate me? He chuckled. I could feel my cheeks getting warm. I should have told him no.
:I didn't expect that.
And so he's going to laugh at me now?
:Let's just forget about it. It's stupid.
I didn't want to talk about this any more. It's annoying!
:I have never kissed any girl before.
He said.
:And when we were told to kiss, I was actually nervous. Especially when I'll be kissing you.
I really didn't expect that. Ohmygod
:I'm not used to this.
This got me smiling a little.
:I don't actually know how to kiss a girl.
He confessed. I was dumbfounded. Seriously?
:Don't laugh at me.
I can't stop smiling. For all this time, I thought he didn't want to kiss me because he didn't like me. Ohmygod
:Wow. That was... good to hear?
I don't actually know what else to say. I feel happy that he hasn't kissed any girls before. He chuckled.
:Good, you say? I feel stupid, to be honest.
I smiled even more.
:I'm sorry.
:For what?
He sounded confused.
I cannot tell him that I've been wanting him to kiss me and when he doesn't, I blow up like a mad woman. That will be a secret.
:Nothing. I just feel like saying it.
I lied.
:Can I tell you something?
I was wondering what he wanted to tell me.
:Hmm
I replied and waited for his response.
:Is it bad that I want to kiss you right now?
And when he said, I swear to God, I can't feel my heart beating crazily. Ohmygod, he's making me crazy!
:I don't know Nicolas. Why did you think that way?
I was indeed smiling.
:I don't know. This is weird.
Oh God, he was so innocent yet so sexy! I chuckled. I can sleep happily now. Wow, I think he really is falling for me. Is that a big step forward? I think..
:Are you sleepy?
I actually am.
:Hmmm
:Can you talk to me for a little while?
He sounded so cute, gosh.
:What do you want to talk about?
I yawn. I am seriously sleepy.
:I have these weird feelings. I don't know. It felt weird.
I smiled. I decided to tease him.
:Aww, are you in love?
I chuckled. He was silent on the other line.
:That's not funny.
And he's annoyed. Yay
:Goodnight, Nicolas.
I yawn again. He sighs.
:Do you really have to go?
He is just so cute! I chuckled.
:You'll meet me again tomorrow, Flynn. Stop sighing.
:Pfft, and you're back to annoying. Bye Rosa
I can't stop smiling. Wow. This is seriously new. I hung up and smiled. I adore him so much.
The next day, I wasn't feeling that good. I don't even know if I should feel happy or sad. I also didn't know why I felt like this. I thought for a second about the theatre festival. I've been thinking about not wanting to be the main character, and I don't feel like acting anymore. I feel tired. I felt like I wanted to stop and wanted to tell Miss J that I didn't want to do this anymore. It just doesn't feel right.
"Are you serious? You want to quit!" Bella was shocked herself. "I guess?" I shrugged. "But why? Are you being serious here?"
"Maybe?" I told her truthfully. I don't even know why I am doing this. "But what about Nicolas and you? I thought you loved acting with him." She raises an eyebrow. I shrug. Again. "I don't know Bell. I don't feel like it." She sighed and told me it was my decision. At practice, I saw Nicolas sitting with Jonah, our classmate, with his earphones on like usual. I make my way towards Miss J.
"I wanted to tell you something."
I said as I got closer to her. She looked at me confused.
"Yes, Rose?"
She smiled. I took a deep breath and said it.
"I can't do it anymore."
She raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?" She was indeed confused. "I can't be Laura anymore. I can't. I don't know what's wrong with me but I just can't," Ireplied truthfully.
She sighed disappointedly.
"But the play is getting nearer. We can't find any other role for Laura. I need you to stop thinking about quitting. Don't disappoint me, Rosabelle." She said, almost as if begging me. I wanted to argue with her, but she said for everyone to be dismissed. Everyone was shocked that she dismissed us early.
Even Nicolas was confused.
"Practice is over! You can go back now."
She said and I heard a few cheers from the boys. It soon went silent when they saw Miss J's disappointed face. When everyone was out, It was just me and her.
"I wanted to know the real reason why you wanted to stop. If your reason is somewhat unacceptable, you must play as Laura," she warned. I actually don't know why I am doing this. "I'm sorry." I said. "What? For what?" she was curious. "I don't know. Maybe I was just tired. Sorry if I disappointed you, Miss J."
She smiled when I said that.
"I guess you just needed some rest since there are a lot of assignments to do. Okay, I forgive you, but don't act like this next time, okay?" She told me this while giving me a reassuring smile.
I nod. She left. I honestly don't know what is wrong with me. I felt like I wanted to run away from Nicolas. I don't know. When I left the auditorium, I noticed Nicolas standing at the door. I was startled at first, but he looked angry.
"Nicolas, are you okay?" I said I was worried about him. What made him so angry? "Why" He said, and I was confused. "What do you mean by why?" I was curious. "Why did you want to stop? What happened? " He doesn't even look at me.
"Nicolas."
I said softly, but he didn't even bother to look at me! Is he sulking or something? Somehow he managed to make me chuckle. He looked furious.
"Do you think this is funny, Rose? We'd been acting together for like a month already, and now you've decided to quit? For real? What is wrong with you? Do you hate me that much that you don't even want to see my face again? Because if you just told me that you didn't want to see me anymore, I could get the hell away from—"
I had enough of him blabbing about stupid things, and so yes, I kissed him. I don't even know why I kissed him! Honestly, it was just a peck. But it felt good that he finally shut up, and I can't believe I actually did this. He was shocked, of course. I was about to pull away from him when he suddenly deepened the kiss. I can't believe honestly that I am kissing Nicolas freaking Flynn!!!
When we finally pulled away from each other, I was sure that my face was red. Little did I know, so was he.
"God, what are you doing to me?"
He ruffled his hair and said. I bit my lip and looked down, trying to hide my face. I'm thinking that he's going to hate me. He chuckled.
"You make me crazy."
When he said that, I was honestly shocked, and so I looked up to him. He was smiling. I was indeed speechless.
My Nicolas claims that I drove him insane. Please don't wake me up if this is a dream.
"I'm dreaming, am I?" I sighed, hoping that this was real.
"You wanted to know if this is real?"
He held up my chin, and so I was looking directly into his eyes. YESSS! I screamed inside my head, hoping that he didn't hear me. Oh god, I just realised that he is so tall.
"Let me try this."
At first, I was confused about what he meant by that, but when he kisses me again, Everything started to make sense, and I was the happiest person on earth.
This is not a damn dream.