When we entered the room, everything was quiet. Noah doesn't seem too good as he keeps staring outside the window. I feel like crying just thinking about him.Why did he have to go through all the pain himself?
"Dad, we're here." Nolan said, looking at his father's condition.
But Noah doesn't show any reaction. I am worried. Am I too late? Wait, why is this happening now? Nicolas was looking at me confusedly. I can't help but keep staring at his father. Suddenly, we heard his dad speak.
"Roxy... You came." He smiled and held out his hand for me to take. I was about to take his hand, but Nicolas squeezed my hand. I look at him, but he just ignores me. What is wrong with him now? I decided to brush him off and sit next to Noah.
"I'm here now. Please..." Those words came out in a whisper. I can't help but feel a pang in my heart looking at his condition. I want to cry so badly.
"Why are you crying? Don't cry, please. It hurts me to see you're crying." Noah said as he wiped the tears on my cheek. What is he talking about? I was the one who broke, seeing him like that. Although I know we just met, seeing his condition right now... it's just too much.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for breaking my promises. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry... Noah." I was shocked at myself when I said that. I feel like I'm really my mom when I say all of that.
Nolan and Nicolas just stared at me quietly, not saying any words but just listening to my conversation with their father. It's just weird because Noah doesn't seem to acknowledge his sons... Especially when he's the one who wanted to see Nicolas
"It's okay, Roxy. I'm just glad you're living a happy life. That is enough for me. I could finally sleep now." Noah chuckled as he said that. Wait, what? what did he mean by that? Noah squeezes my hand and I notice him crying. His eyes were puffy and still he tried to smile, looking at me. Oh God, I can't do this. I was about to say something, but Noah began telling us a story.
"We were young back then. You are my first love. my everything. My soul. Knowing you was... a miracle. I remember how we used to call each other every time we missed one another. I remember our first kiss. Our first fight. Our promises... The future we desired.. never come... I never knew why everyone told me that you'd left me. I never believed that. I was just... disappointed because you left.. but I believe you had your reasons." Noah said as he looked for something in the drawer next to him.
I can't believe that Noah and my mom have a history like this. I wanted to cry so badly knowing that she doesn't remember him.
His first love.
"But seeing you right now. I guess as you look happier, I guess that's enough for me. Loving you was never a mistake and I do not regret anything. Thank you for all the time we spent together. I'm glad you had a happy life." Noah chuckled, holding a piece of paper in his hand.
"I met someone while waiting for you. She was the love of my life... But I did not know that until it was already too late. She was an angel. She was the one who'd been there when I was having my darkest times. She was there to hold my hand and tell me that everything was going to be alright. She is the reason I started to believe that life is worth living. I wanted to fix everything, but it's too late now. Her smile was the reason I'm still alive today. She was my wife. Rabecca. The girl who stayed by my side for 15 years without telling me once that I was a disappointment." i6 noticed Nicholas was looking at his father sternly. I noticed he was about to say something, but Nolan stopped him.
"You know... I have sons. twins actually. I wonder what they look like now.. maybe they look like your friend here." Noah said as he looked at Nolan and Nicolas. Wait... what is he saying? They're his sons? Don't tell me he forgets about everything. Nicolas flinched.
"Don't tell me you've forgotten your sons now! Wow, and here I am, wasting my time worried about nothing. You really are an asshole, you know that? Do you really believe that saying all of this nonsense will make things better? You really think that my mom will be back if you say that you f*cking love her after all that she has been through?" Nicolas sighs in desperation.
Everyone was silent. Noah just stared at him... Confused
"I'm sorry... Rabecca was right.. you really have anger issues." Noah said while looking at Nicolas. Um, wait, this is not the time to talk about his anger issues...
"And who gave you the right to speak about MY mother?! Why can't you just die already?" Nicolas said in anger. I can't believe that I heard him saying those words. I had enough. I pulled Nicolas's hand and decided to leave the room with him. He followed me, still holding my hand.
What is wrong with this guy? I was disappointed in his attitude towards his father. Like, why? He wanted to say sorry, but why can't Nicolas just talk nicely towards his father?
"Fuck all of this! I never should've come here in the first place." He punched the wall next to him. I was scared to see him like this. I'm terrified that I hurt him too much... "I'm sorry... Please forgive me this once. I promise I will never bother you anymore after this, but please... Just don't leave him..." I literally whispered the last part because I was scared that he might yell at me. I didn't hear anything from him, so I decided to look at him, wondering why he was so silent. But then I noticed he was already staring at me.
"Just why? Why do you have to be the one?" He almost sounded like he was forcing himself to speak. I don't understand what he's talking about. I was about to ask him, but he suddenly hugged me. What shocked me the most was that he was crying, so silently that it broke my heart. I miss him so much I can't help myself.
"Please Nicolas... I promised him that I'd get you to meet him. He's dying. I just don't know what to do when I see him like that. It hurts me enough to know that the fact that my mom doesn't remember anything about him... To know that he's been in pain since she left. That he's hurting still. I just can't see him looking like that. hurting himself. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry if my being in your life was a nuisance. But please just don't leave him... I ca—"
I was surprised and shocked when he kissed me. I didn't know what to say anymore when the kiss finally ended. I can't look at him now. He touches my cheeks and makes me look at him.
"You really are a nuisance in my life, you know that? This is a really, really big problem. I just can't leave you out of my sight for even a minute, can't I?" He said, smiling weakly. Wait, what? I don't know if he's trying to compliment me or annoy me... But I'm just glad he's smiling, even if just for a while. He told me he was going back to his father's room and told me to wait for him outside. I wanted to be there with him and also listen to Noah's story but I can't, since this is his family's problems and I can't meddle with them anymore. I caused too much trouble for him.
"I'll see you in a bit." he said, and walked towards the room. I can't help but feel a little relieved.
Are we okay now?
Does you still hate me?
I can't help but ask those questions. Still, everything just needed to wait. Hopefully, everything will be alright.
That's what I said then—
but now I just wish I could turn back time and change everything.