I was just sitting on our couch staring at the blank television, watching my frozen image from the dark screen, making no movement but sitting with my hands folded together in front of me, really embarrassed that I stoop so low to totally disgrace myself and my pride for someone who doesn't value it. The movies were a lie, they were all lies, the movies I watched back at the Orphanage show men or women who goes back to apologize and everything will turn out right, the other person will accept the apology and life continues from where it stopped, but comparing it to what I saw that day, I can't just believe myself.
They made fun of me, Stella showed me how worthless I was to her, her action stamped on me that I felt embarrassed to the point I can't walk with my face high, I lost all my confidence, pride and respect in a single moment where I went to apologize just because I believed that was the right thing to do, they made caricature of me, they shamed me and left me like a piece of rag.
I can remember how I stood there and watched them walk away, I can't believe that with all the mindset I was built with, that I will one day come across this stab on my back, Francis and the others stayed back to cheer me up while the others left, they were there when all that was happening, they were finding it fun, smiling secretly as if I can't see them so close, I am just embarrassed that I was the one who dragged myself into that situation.
Jones... Me, I was controlled by a person's actions, someone actions drove me to do something I have never done, her threats got fear into me and made me make a fool out of myself. 
That incident happened a week today and since then I haven't spoken much with anyone, not even David or Uncle Dale, Jack can't bring himself to stay around me, Jackie has been staring every time I went past her but iced, no one was my friend, I trust no one, not even myself.
It's almost time David and Uncle Dale usually comes back, I have to leave the couch and enter my room. I laid on the bed, looking up at the ceiling, I don't feel a single regret about losing Stella, she's a devil in human's skin, she has succeeded in tearing my soul apart and left me in ruin, she knows of my real identity and that is scary.
“ Hey Jones.... I noticed that you have been off this past days son, I once believed you were handling this right, but looking at you now, it shows that you have no single card left, you've ended up loosing every single control of the game and I have myself to blame for that....”, Uncle Dale said, his back resting on the wall by the side of my door staring at me.
I rose from the bed looking at him, “ You shouldn't blame yourself for something you know nothing about uncle Dale, this is all my fault, I sold myself out thinking that I was living a dream, believing that life was the movie I have always watched, believing that Mother Superior's teachings were always right where she said we should make apologies, even for those that wronged us, that we should pray for them, I never knew that I was living a lie ”, I said, head bowed low and eyes looking at my feets, really embarrassed of the shame I brought to myself.
“ Never bow your head while speaking to me boy!.... Look me in the eyes, stand by your right and never blame your Mother superior for your mistakes!.... You should take responsibility, take responsibility of your actions, take responsibility of your thoughts and find strength through your pain, you're my son and my sons never disappoint me no matter the situation!....”.
He was scolding me, but it wasn't feeling like scolding to me, he was telling me the truth, assuring me that he still got my back in every situation, I know that I was the one who got myself into this mess, allowing myself to be controlled by my unprocessed thoughts, as hard as it may sound, I have just realized that I was being a fool all this while, I have been hiding under his shelter thinking that I will escape self destruction by hiding.
“ But Sir.... I made a fool of myself, I made a fool of myself out there, people no longer respect me, they all now see me as a joke, as a loser....”, “ shut your mouth boy!.... I just corrected your stupidity, yet here you're, running back at it... You are the one who no longer respect yourself, you're the one who sees yourself as a joke, you are the one who sees yourself as a loser, stop blaming the others, have you gone to the mirror and saw how disgusting you've become?, Have you!?”.
I'm now disappointed in Uncle Dale, instead of him consoling me and encouraging me as a father, here he is scolding me, I first thought that he was trying to advise me, not knowing that he was here to shame me too, to throw my foolishness to my face, I know that I was wrong, but why should he?, Why should he be the one to paint it on my face?, Why should he be the one to rub it on my face without seeing how traumatic and emotional it might hurt me.
“ I guess I was wrong all along uncle Dale... I guess I gave you so much credit than you deserve Sir..... Give me till weekend, I will be leaving your house for good, God bless you for all you've done for me so far ”.