Xia Na's POV
For a moment, I halted at my place.
He knew it would be hard for me. How could he say that?
He broke the hug and stared at me silently. He was too sure about me, but I was too careless.
When Taylor said, "He was sunshine, I was midnight rain," I never knew that someday I would feel that line from the bottom of my heart.
"I promise I won't bother you ever in life if you say that to me, Xia Na."
Looking at him, I said something I knew I was about to regret for a lifetime.
"Ling Xiao... I- I don't love you anymore. I want to focus on my career."
Standing firm, I tried to meet his eyes. My eyes almost got blurry due to the tears.
He stood there for a while in total silence. Perhaps he was gathering the courage to face it.
Only I knew, Ling Xiao, how much I'd hate myself for giving you the pain you didn't even deserve.
"Just like I said, I won't bother you anymore, Ms. Xia." Giving him an empty stare, I gulped down my sorrow.
After a pause, he continued. "Be happy. I hope you find someone you can love."
"You too."
He slightly sneered at my words. "I found the person I want to love. Even if she's not with me, I'll never stop loving her. Not in this life, at least. Whoever has you, tell him to treat you well. He will have someone dear to me."
Catching a glimpse of me, he stepped back and back until he disappeared from my sight.
A tear dropped down my cheek. "I hope you know I didn't mean it, Ling Xiao. Even if I have to love you from afar, let me. Forgive me if you can, Ling Xiao."
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Xi Song's POV
Before I lost control of my mind, I went to Handong Cemetery. At such a time, there was only one person who could understand me and handle me.
Walking, I reached my unpaid therapist, my winter bear. But I couldn't believe it when I found Xingyue sitting there. Her eyes were swallowed after crying for too long. Her pale, puffy face worried me.
My lips seemed sealed as I failed to utter a word.
As I turned my head, my gaze fell on Li Shing. Countless flashbacks summoned me.
Flashback
While I put a strawberry milk can on her desk, I sat at the front desk.
"Li Shing. I have something to tell you."
Without even paying attention to my words, she continued to solve her math questions. She was a tough girl, which made it hard for guys to approach her. But my bubbly nature could care less about that.
"Li Shing!" I called her again. "What is it?" she replied in an annoying tone.
Moving my head a little closer, I nervously smiled. "Will you be my girlfriend?"
She frowned at her place and looked at me, grinning. I smiled back until I felt a slap over my head, making me fall to the ground.
"What did you say? I didn't hear you." She glared at me before walking away.
But I was too in love to feel hurt. Instead, I smile like an idiot while placing my hand over my heart. Before she could leave the classroom, I shouted. "LOOK, MY HEART IS BEATING SO FAST. I WANT DR. LI TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS INCIDENT."
She turned and looked at me in disbelief, only for me to smirk and be proud of my action.
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I remember the biggest fight I had with my dad. I felt so messed up at that time. I wanted to shout, to let out my rage and pain, but I couldn't.
Putting my head on my hands, I lay on the park bench. The overthinking was eating me.
Just then, she appeared like the fairy godmother of fairytales.
"Move aside. I want to sit here."
As I moved a little, she sat down, letting me lay on her lap.
"Did you fight again?"
Scoffing, I replied. "It's not even new anymore, right?"
"Xi Song, do you really want to be a doctor? Or is it because of me?"
"I know it's good to go to the same medical school as my girlfriend, but I really want to be the one. Healing their wounds and seeing them leave the hospital happily. It is so pleasing to see."
"And I want to heal them from every trauma they once faced."
Kissing the back of her hand, I winked. "My unpaid therapist will be the best therapist in the world."
"You and your fantasy." She giggled. "But I mean it, winter bear." I chuckled.
"I know... I know..."
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Running after her, I stopped in front of a boutique shop, and she came to me.
"What happened, Xi Song?"
"Look at the dress."
Puzzled, she glanced in the same direction. "Oh, the wedding dress? It's pretty."
"You will look so pretty in that dress at our wedding."
She stood on her toes and whispered softly in my ear. "I'll not marry you." She ran away with a smirk on her face as I chased her once again.
"You will. You have to. Yaa, come here."
In my dreams, I never thought that someday I would lose her like this.
I still remember losing the grip of her hand and her words.
"Xi Song, I'm sorry; I'll not be able to keep my promise to marry you."
Flashback ended
I turned my eyes away, as I could not meet her eyes anymore. I noticed Xingyue staring at me with mistrust. The look on her face asked me not to utter a word. I remained silent, staring back with the same distress.
"I'm sorry." Her chin trembled. She glanced at Li Shing. "I know I promised the day I'd find him, I'd kill him. Please forgive me, Li Shing. I will not be able to kill him."
Her love was reflected even in her wrath. In her words, I caught the broken trust that stung me.
"I waited so long for him to open up. But guess what, Li Shing, he never did it."
Today, for the first time, I saw the hatred I had never seen in her eyes for myself.
Where her eyes once showed only love, today I could not tolerate seeing fuming bitterness there.
"I hope you remember that our contract is expiring today."
We continued to stare at each other, she added. "See you in court, Dr. Song."