She wanted to do some ranting on how she just let it all happen at once. Their unexpected meeting at the art exhibit, the drinking from their coffe cups, and the drive they took to visit the Nantucket Hill House, (on separate cars of course, because they drove their own cars). But in the end laughter came. It was still a good time. She enjoyed his company. She stopped smiling. She wasn’t able to do her utterings of her apologies back then. She reclined back on her seat, indulging herself to let that side of hers came out. The one who loves to do some deep introspection of things, and there’s no given answer that popped in mind. Her mind is acting a bit greedy, because it wasn’t that active in given her direct and clear answers at the moment. She knew she had to do something- to make up for that time. That time she wasted that precious partnership she used to had, she didn’t let it grow. She was too lost, too caught up with what her mind was set into that she didn’t gave it a chance to prosper. Fostering- didn’t jive with her that time.
“Fostering. Really Azaiah? Can you think of something, a more sensible word to say brain?” She frankly knew that her logical part can say something better. She bit her lip and stared at the bouquet that was wrapped and given just for her to receive.
“Roses. He prepared to give me red roses this time.” Red flowers won her heart during this present life she’s in. She sniffed the fresh roses, taking every sniff, almost looking like she is trying to memorize the scent. It calmed her somehow. Most especially it brought calm in her racing mind that seemed to spiral in a foggy state of being unable to think of what she needs to do at the moment. ..
“You’re back. Where is that young man? You can take him with us for dinner.” Her mom in a hurried voice said her words to Azaiah. She was looking at his back- eyes almost expecting to find what she’s been wanting to see.
Azaiah smiled. Shrugging her head she went to hug her mom, and to give her a kiss on the cheek.
Shaking her head she let her mouth be open to speak something. “You’re starting, Mom. You are on your way of growing feelings of fondness towards Alcuin.” She teased her mother with the words she just spoke.
“Ohh, you child.” Amelia, lifting her fingers in the air. Trying to flog something in the air with her hands. “I just can’t help but to be fascinated with that young man’s behavior. Especially towards you my dear, you are special in his eyes.”
“Mom, stop trying to patch assumptions please. We’re just friends. It’s normal. Alcuin is a sweet guy.” And a sweet-talker too, so suave into smothering his vocal cords especially when he is flirting. She shook her head with the added thought she had formulated in her mind. She should let this be wiped out of her mind. What’s wrong? The things she knew about Alcuin’s womanizing seasons!
She caught herself thinking deeply again. Why is she even interested?
“Are you certain that he thinks the same way as you, my child?” Amelia’s eyes glistened with something that flashed too quickly.
“Oh, that kind of look.” She exasperated with too much impression. “I know that look.” Closing her eyes, she was in the moment. “I remember those days.”
Azaiah’s mouth hanged open. She for sure also knew what her mother is talking about. Amelia, her mother is a vixen. The sweet fruit guys were seeking. She was the guys’ favorite. The talk of the town, the famous apple of the eye. It was put on emphasis not only by her mother but with her Uncle as well. Shaking her head, she was waiting for her mother to open her eyes after being done with her reminiscing.
“Mom, I don’t think so. I’m sure Alcuin just likes us being friends.” She answered. In the back of her head she was thinking about Callista and his situation.
Amelia raised her fingers. Started positioning her forefinger to placed it in her chin, she smiled at her. “Oh, Azaiah. You’re not blind my child, you know how to access your surrounding especially people and situations. You are also not someone who lacked intelligence either.” Her smile widened.
Azaiah didn’t know what to say to her mother. Is she supposed to be thankful or to be offended with her mother’s words? She was speaking in a manner of having contradictory statement that made Azaiah think that it still have some sense.
“I’m starting tomorrow.” She said. It will distract her mom’s attention.
Amelia’s mouth moved, her smile is now wider than ever. She was staring at Azaiah like she said something so brilliant. “I know. And I am excited for you my darling. My child..”
Her footsteps started to walk towards her. The clacking of her heels on the tiled floor is heard. Lifting Azaiah’s chin, she scanned her face.
“You look like me. You’re beautiful. And I truly believed that you’ll have the success in this industry, my child.” She spoke.
The certainty in her mother’s voice made her want to say something, to oppose to her mother’s statement. Her mother. She doesn’t feel the need to trust her mother’s word truly. She did something like this before. She said she believed in her a lot, only to face her criticism when things went downhill. She knew deep down, she already had changed. And her mother still hasn’t that awareness in the change she’s been through. There’s already a scar. She’s already been scarred by her all throughout the days when her narcissism and egocentric nature came in to step and destroy the sprouting self-worth cultivation she’s been trying to build when she was younger.
The wounds can still be felt, even when the days of those days of infliction has already been gone. Slowly, she removed her head away from her mother’s grasp. She gave her a smile.
“I know, Mom.” She paused.
“So? I’ll head upstairs then.” She excused herself and walked away, to let herself walk her way towards the different direction.