She felt absently-minded. She can’t think of anything right after she wake up. Lying wide awake- she felt lost. Not a single thought came in her mind. The face of Galen came inside of her mind. But she cannot associate any single thought about him. She got up from her bed and went to the side table inside her room. Poured water in a glass- she quickly drank it up. She decided she’ll head down. Her mother was already sitting on the table. She sat on the chair- and sighed.
“What’s the matter?” Her mother asked. Eyes are curious.
Shaking her head she replied; “Nothing, Mom.”
“You can tell.” Her mother said.
She picked the utensils and ate the food. She was making small bites, chewing it lightly. “I don’t have a single thought in my head, Mom. So, I don’t have an answer for you.” She replied.
“Have you checked on Galen?”
The questioned jolted a feeling inside of her. Moving her fingers, she placed the eating utensils back on her plate. Her lips moved. But she didn’t dare to open her mouth to speak. Her mother unshaken, she solidly stared at her making stable eye-contact. She can feel something inside her throat- a discomfort that seemed to prevent her from speaking. She was having the difficulty to share her feelings this time. She learned from the last time she let out her greatest vulnerabilities on her mother. But in the end- she saw her as someone who is a deceiver. She cried it all out. And her mother left her sitting with the pain she inflicted on her. No remorse- no guilty feeling. She was cold and harsh back when she’s a bit younger.
Cold and harsh. That left a bitter taste on her mouth. Her she is, connecting the dots. Telling herself Galen acted the same way too.
“I did. He turned the phone call off. I guess he just doesn’t want to talk with the happenings he is going through right now.”
The flashing sensitive tonality came out of her. And she regretted how her voice sounded like. She went to look at her mother and her reaction about what she said.
“And how did his actions make you feel?” Amelia stared at her daughter with the eyes that spoke of sympathy.
“I felt betrayed. He shut me out.” She responded with tiredness in her voice.
“I just wished he told me what happened but instead he was too unemotional to even share something that requires him to have emotions in telling it.”
“Azaiah. I think you should distance yourself for a bit. Now that Corvina wasn’t physically present in their lives, Galen is left with his father. And Alderam.” Her mother scoffed. She withdrew her hands from holding the fork.
“He hates you.” Azaiah finished her sentence off. Confident. She was confident enough to affirm it.
Her mother gave her a surprise look. She purged the need to add something more. It’s on her mother now. She’ll get to decide whether she will be upfront in telling her about it. To unravel the ugly truth first before she gets to add her own thought in regards to what happened.
“How did you know?” Her mother’s sharp response made her question whether it was good that she gave in to her recklessness. It was bad to lead her on and her getting the wrong assumptions.
“I read something. A letter of some sort.” She uttered.
A shallow tangling tie that made them all sour and bitter. “Galen’s father used to like you. While her mother was wretched. Feeling rueful that her husband is in love with someone else.”
“That letter. I labeled it as something that is useless.” Her mother added another word.
“You mean, it pathetic?” She wanted to take it back. But she already said it and now she just have to wait for her mother’s reactions.
“Alderam is pathetic. Supposedly I was going to marry him. The silly promised our parents both gave us, said it was something worth treasuring. Being wedded to each other.” Her mother made a scoffing sound. Pampering her lips, smothering it with her napkin she stopped talking. Raising her glass, she gulped a few drops of wine to flow down her throat.
“They think it was a great match, huh? An absolute paring made from heaven.” Azaiah cannot help herself but to add these words.
“How romantic my child. But you are wrong. It clearly wasn’t a match made from heaven. It was a match straightly pulled out from hell.” She flung the glass gently.
Her mother’s pale skin glow, the glow that sparkles is making her looked even more youthful. Her perfectly well-taken care cheeks are glowing perfectly. Terrific. It’s one thing she remembered to use as an adjective. The description of how her mother sees their pair- it sounded so remarkably satisfying because she looked bold while saying it.
“You’re my smart girl. You know what to do. Or do you still need my help, my child?” Her mother’s voice had an enough amount of having a persuading manipulation act. “You need to distance yourself for a bit. Just an enough distance, Azaiah.”
“You know, Mom. I was even planning to try getting away from him for good.” How fab of her to say something like this.
“And Mom, it wasn’t your fault. You did what you can do in order to extend your help to the two of them.” She added.
Her mother smiled. She looked proud of her daughter’s statement. It was as if she said something spectacular.
Azaiah finally understand everything now.
From the very first time she met Galen’s father. The way Corvina looked at her with gentleness and how her husband and his that stone-like expression obviously took its all so precious time to show it to her. A lump was felt down her throat after she recalled their previous meetings. He wasn’t that accepting. She can still remember that gruff stare he showed her, and how he always acted gross out whenever Galen speaks something about her mother. And how his wife have that alarmed face. It all made sense to her.
“To distance myself” She whispered as she move her feet upstairs.
She can do this. There is no second guessing, no more hesitations. She’ll go straight into this, she will stick through this decision.
“There’s no going back to once where. No going back to her what if’s. If he’s that angry and have this animosity towards her and her mother for what he could’ve known, then she will not stop whatever decision he will do this time. She knows what to do. And she is that self-assured that this time, she has the ability to do anything that can protect herself.