Have you ever felt a gush of achievement and then feel as if it was going down the drain? That was how Andrew felt while watching Caleb goes back to his former life. A life of sexual immorality, that he was trying to get over.
Andrew turned abruptly when he noticed that Caleb has met his gaze slightly. There was no doubt he felt hurt. After all, he has been deeply attracted to this fellow, and will always be beside him when he needed a shoulder to cry on. He would always counsel him on how best to tame his feelings and not give in to improper sexual desires.
He sacrificed his time, words, and attention, hoping that one day he could get a grip hold of himself and eventually do the right time. All of this at the expense of him falling deeply for Caleb. Hiding this feeling, just to help him and stand on his own feet.
"Andrew, please wait, "He stopped on his track, as he closed his eyes tightly.
'I am not going to cry,' he told himself as he opened his eyes to see Caleb in front of him.
"I am sorry. I just, could not control myself. I never expected to see you here," Caleb held his hand and said.
He looked at Caleb whose hair was now messy, his shirt slightly buttoned, his face filled with beads of sweat.
"I guess your friend must have texted me so that I could see the real YOU. But it is okay, I am not angry, just disappointed." Andrew stared at him sternly.
Caleb felt lost in words as his fingers went through his hair.
"Please, just try to forgive me. I know I have wasted your time making you believe I have changed. And I never expected you will figure it out this way. The fact that I have gone back to my old ways. I cherish and admire you as the only person who put my interest at heart. I am sorry," Caleb pleaded.
Andrew breathed in and out, as he felt his heart heavy. He wished he had gotten rid of this weird feeling towards Caleb, but his stupid self only had a strong attraction towards him. Now, he felt more broken, because the person he valued and will do anything for was simply listening to his words of advice without applying them. Such a waste of time
"It is okay. You requesting forgiveness is not something you should worry about. When did you return to your old ways? I thought you wanted to change. No more sex, drinking, wild parties, or anything illegal,"
Caleb bowed in embarrassment, as he stared at the floor, before finding the courage to look at Andrew again.
"It has been close to a month since I got back to my old ways. My friends invited me to a party and that was how it all happened again. The drinking, and all acting on what the hormones bring. That was why I did avoid spending time with you for a while. I was planning on explaining it to you today before you caught me in the act."
Andrew was speechless for a while at Caleb's confession.
"I guess I should have seen the red light already. You know what? You are free to do as you like. Just remember that everything has its advantages and disadvantages. You not being able to keep your mind off the opposite sex will only make you involve in sexual immorality more. Likewise, spending time with those whose thoughts involve enjoying life to the fullest also make one start thinking that way"
"I am glad I got to spend the little time together. At least sharing ideas, as well as thoughts. And I guess today will mark a goodbye and a little break in our friendship. Never forget the reality that the choice you make today is yours to make alone and not someone else. You do it, then you get either the good or bad effects. All the best Caleb. It was nice being friends with you," Andrew walked away after saying those words.
Caleb simply looked on, not knowing what else to do. He still found it difficult to let go of Andrew and not bother to change his ways. He felt down a little. He knew Andrew was slightly agitated and might not talk to him again. He sighed, before going back to take his things.
He looked at the girl in front of him and lost all the passion that was there. He simply dismissed her, as she left. She seemed to have read the words on the ceiling and was able to decode the change in Caleb's mood. She smiled, glad the job his friends gave him was done and dusted.
...
Andrew did not bother to visit Rachael, nor did he go to the class for his last period. He simply went to the sickbay as he requested to rest, which was granted as the nurses there noticed he looked tired and also had a high temperature.
Andrew just closed his eyes as he reminisced over the time he had spent with Caleb. His smiles and good looks left him falling for Caleb. It was a weird phenomenon that only makes Andrew more guilty than ever.
Even tho he knew it was taboo for him to develop feelings for the same sex, he never tried to get rid of it. His mind was only filled with giving Caleb all the attention of the world and making him change for the better. Unknown that he doesn't seem to be on his side. He was simply swayed by bad friends.
"I have a request O God. And that is to help me control my feelings toward the same sex. If these feelings toward the same-sex persist, I hope you will help me not to give in to homosexual acts. Please guide me to avoid improper desires," Andrew silently prayed as he slept off.
....
The closing bell woke Andrew off his dreamland. He got up and checked his phone to see missed calls and messages from Rachael.
"I can meet up now at the library. We can do the Counselling there. I hope that is okay," he typed as he hit the sent button.
He received a response not up to a minute as Rachael accepted, briefing him about meeting up with Miguel. It was not even Friday, as Miguel has decided to seek help earlier.
Andrew got out of the room after taking one more thermometer check to ensure his temperature was normal. Sighing, Andrew went straight to the library.
Even tho, he was feeling down, but he still had to acknowledge Rachael's calling. He finally got to the library as he saw Rachael and a young guy. He walked closer to them and greeted them warmly.
"Miguel, meet my friend Andrew. Andrew meets Miguel."Rachael introduced as they nodded at each other, before Andrew sat beside Miguel, both of them facing Miguel.
"Miguel, nice to meet you. We are glad you decided to let out what worry you the most. I just want you to know that only a courageous person does that." Andrew commented as Miguel smiled.
"Affirmative. And we guarantee you that teen life can be crazy sometimes. You just have to pull yourself together and face it."Rachael added, then continued
"We would like to hear your story. How did it start?"

Miguel adjusted himself in his seat. Just looking at the two, he had grown more confident to talk about what he has been feeling. Somehow, he felt the need to get over masturbating.
"It all started when my mum divorced my dad and she become a single mother. She got a good job and would spend most of the time there. She provided me with everything I needed, and I never lacked anything except motherly love and attention. It was something that left me in shambles."
"When I was fourteen years, my mum was transferred to another state. She bought a new phone and laptop for me. She left me behind as his job does not allow her to bring someone else with her."
"I spent months alone, and that was how I mingled with bad friends. In no time, I started watching pornography. I became addicted, as my phone's and my laptop was filled with nudes, pornographic pictures, audios, and videos." Miguel bowed his head in embarrassment.
"I started noticing the opposite sex, and being a shy person would indulge in pornography viewing and masturbating. I could not control myself, and every time I tell myself I will stop, the sexual urges will come again, and the who act will continue for a lot period."
"My mum never stayed home for more than a day after then, which made me keep this to myself. When I saw that you created a counseling unit, and I have heard a good report about it. I thought it would be best to tell you about it. I am tired of being enslaved by this act. I keep telling myself it won't happen again, but it keeps happening. I feel bad after the deed has been done. How can I break free?" Miguel allowed tears to flow freely down his face.
"I am sorry you had to go through all this. But just be reassured that you can actually control your sexual desires."Rachael reassured,
"Would you like to know how I was once in your shoes and how I got to put an end to my masturbating habit?"Andrew spoke, making Rachael and Miguel startled a bit...