Ryan decided we go to a bar, have some drinks and talk about this so he could understand me clearly. I have quite a lot of time to spare, it's a two years free time, what can few minutes of friends time cost?.
We were now sitting opposite each other, a round table dividing us from each other, a wine bottle on the table and our glasses half filled while we just sip them down and talk.
“ I still can't get this straight..... You don't understand what two years is, that's what I think. You just spent six months in prison, and here you're, planning on putting down another two years, for what?, That sounds senseless....” he argued.
I just smiled, he possibly wouldn't understand unless I explain, he's my lawyer for the fact, so I am supposed to tell him stuff, maybe his status as more than a lawyer is the reason why I am holding back. One thing I learnt from Karl back in the prison is, don't share stuff with people, your plans, your private life stories, what you're doing for the meantime when it's still in progress, but no, I am just overthinking stuff, Ryan is my Fucking lawyer who happens to run my life too as an assistant.
“ You see Ryan, I spent six months in jail, I didn't waste time like you said, rather I went there to learn, and what I've learnt is what I am exhibiting. That moment when you realize that you're limited in whatever you want to do, that's when you keep remembering all you've got to do, how you should have been spending your life, places you've to go, things you should've done that you never did, all that you'll be thinking, and realizing you can't do it when you're in prison, that's the same as realizing you can't do it in death as well....”
“ Where are you going with this?....” he asked, curious, showing that I just caught his interest. I know I should, knowing how intelligent and thoughtful he was, he would possibly catch up early with what I am trying to say.
“ I want to do things I never did, I want to go places I never went to, I want to try stuff, risk things, create memories, have something to remember in my old age if I would live till then, have stories to tell, all this adventures a man should've before settling down, something to tell his kids and grandkids about his time....”
“ You don't have kids, remember?...”
That stung for a moment, I don't know whether he saw it in my face, but it does sting, realizing that I lived with a son and a daughter for years, only to realize that they're not mine.
“ That doesn't mean I ain't gonna have kids in the future bro....”
“ Wow.... really?, I've seen some men that said they wouldn't be having a woman into their lives again after going through what you just went through, but here you're, hoping to get on with your relationship life, that's impressive....”
He said, raising his wine glass to his lips and sipping it down, the smile still in his face like he really was impressed, I guess he misunderstood me in between the line or maybe he just wasn't Listening closely, having his mind elsewhere why I was trying to share plain information with him.
“ I think you got me wrong Ryan, I never said I would be marrying a woman again, I just said that I would be having kids, you know, baby mamas.... I don't want anything to do with all those Jessicas out there, just so you understand....”
I made it clear to him, drinking my own glass and showing him that I don't bloody care. He never stopped looking at me, he seemed stunned, not expecting me to say that, I believe he still thought of me as that pussy that went into jail driven by depression.
“ I know you Jerome, of everything, I just know one thing in particular, you're a good man in heart, you don't believe in having multiple women or living a life of a Playboy, it was never part of your character....”
I almost spat out my wine as I almost erupted with laughter, covering my mouth in the process so that the wine inside my mouth won't spill away. I tried to maintain my cool, but it was quite impossible, he just made my day with this confirmation about my previous self, I believe he doesn't really know the man I'm now, he still got a lot to catch up to.
I never wanted to dive into this topic, any topic about myself, I just want to leave it aside, by the corner. If his view wants to be about me being that pussy he once knew, then he's definitely going to find it hard to catch up. 
“ Secondly, I can see that the prison really did change you, I never wanted to bring this up, but because you're my close friend and not just my client, I believe I should voice this out...... You shouldn't be lifting weights anymore, you're already huge in your outlook, it makes you look scary and dominating, I don't really like it.... it's more like you're......”
“ Shhhh!!..... I believe we've had enough of our time to spare Ryan, we should call it a day, and please, when you're about to divert from professionalism again to friends talk, just give me a heads up so I can just be on my way...... I've somewhere to be now, by nightfall, I might be sending you a receipt, a car receipt, you know what to do....”
I already left the bills under my glass for the waiter, I believe I have something more important to do than to listen to this trash he's about to say.