Two days before new year's eve, my aunt surprised me, she visited my apartment unannounced. Even Lia said she didn't know that her mom had a plan to visit me so she couldn't tell me in advance.
I don't have a problem if my aunt and her family surprise me, that was okay with me before but not anymore.
Instead of being happy when they surprised me, here we are sitting quietly in my small living room. Gian is on my right side while aunt is next to me on my right and uncle is on the other sofa, my cousins, one of them is sitting on the arm rest of the sofa that uncle is sitting on while Lia's older sister is on our side while leaning on the side of the TV and Lia next to me on the left side of the sofa.
"I trusted you, Gill." Aunt broke the silence that now enveloped my unit.
I can't look back and look my aunt in her eyes now. Because I feel like I'm going to cry for reasons I don't even know. Mama, what should I do?
"I let you live alone because I know you're a sensible woman, you won't do what other young people are doing today." She added.
"But what is this? You have a child! You even hid it from us!" Aunt said almost shouting.
"What will my sister say to me when we meet in the afterlife? That I abandoned you?!" From the tone of aunt's voice, I know she is angry but she is still holding herself back.
"Lia, take the child first and go in the room." Uncle ordered to shut up now.
Lia followed and took Gian by my arm. Gian also quietly went with his aunt and I just looked at him until they entered my room. I just swallowed my own saliva and went back to bowed my head.
"Is this your revenge on us because we didn't send you to a college? You no longer respects us!"
"Auntie, it's not like that"
I didn't lose my respect for them, nor did I resent them if they didn't let me go to college.
"Oh if that's not the case, why did you keep it a secret from us?! Don't we have the right to know what's going on in your life after you leave my house?!"
How do I tell them everything? The truth? It's not possible because Diane trusted me that no matter what happens, I won't tell the truth that I know. In this situation I'm really struggling because I'm not the type of person who lies. My parents raised me to be honest so people can trust me.
But what should I do in my current situation?
"Answer me, Gillianna!"
"I'm sorry, aunt." That's all I said and my head completely stayed bowing.
Even though my neck is hurting, I still can't lift my head because I'm afraid to see the expression they have now.
"You didn't have a decent job anymore and, you still managed to party" Lina said, sister of Lia.
Lia's second sister said that in a whisper tone but I still heard it, she was sitting right across from me, sitting on the arm rest of the sofa where uncle was sitting.
"Do you really have no intention of letting us know about your son?"
"Where is his father?"
Aunt and uncle asked almost one after the other.
I don't know what to answer first, I'm also thinking about what is the right word that I need to say and will they believe my lie?
"You and Lia actually agreed to keep this from us. Answer me, Gill!"
I swallowed a saliva one after the other because I could feel aunt's anger now. I was also afraid of her, that's why I didn't tell about Gian before.
"Leave her alone, Gill is old enough to be educated in this matter. She knows what right from wrong." Said by Lucy, eldest daughter of aunt.
"Shut up, Lucy. I'm not talking to you."
"It's up to you, I'll just go with my nephew." She said and entered my room where Lia and Gian were.
"What? Are you really not going to talk?"
"Aunt, uncle, I'm sorry if I kept Gian a secret from you."
I almost stammered when I said that. The trembling in my voice is also obvious because of the fear I felt now.
"Why did you keep it a secret from us? Don't we have the right to know what happened to you?"
"Because I'm scared."
"You're afraid? Why? Do you think we will eat you if you confess that you were pregnant?"
"I'm afraid of what you will say and think"
"You prioritized thinking about that more than letting your uncle and cousins take care of you while you were pregnant?"
"I'm sorry, aunt."
"Oh, where is the father of your child now?"
"None."
"Gosh! Did you have a one night stand?!" Lina said.
"Look! If you had told us that, we would have been able to help you. But you didn't and get scared first!"
"There's only one thing that makes me angry right now. You didn't value us enough to let us know about your pregnancy before. What if something bad happened when you were pregnant? We'll only know when it's too late? Is that right?"
"I'm really sorry, aunt. I know I made the wrong decision."
"Tsk, tsk! Next time if you're worried, don't overdo it, okay?"
Lina's honest statement, out of their three siblings, Lina is the only one I don't agree with on some things. She's okay to be with if what's happening is according to her wishes, but if not, that's how she behaves.
"Fine! That's enough, let's eat lunch first."
I saw in my peripheral vision that uncle stood up and walked towards the kitchen. Maybe he will fix the food they brought earlier.
"We're not done yet, Gillianna."
That's all aunt said before she stood up as well, just then I raised my head and closed my eyes tightly because of the pain I felt in my neck.
"Call your sisters, Lina."
"K... Get out there and eat now"
I stood up and just as they had just left Lia out of the room, Lucy was carrying Gian. It looks like the two of them are getting along. I smiled when I saw the looks of the two of them.
"Come on, these foods are getting cold."
"You go to mama G?" Lucy baby talks with Gian. "Mama G, baby G said wants to be with you."
"Thank you, Lucy." I said and smiled. She also smile at me and whispered.
"Don't pay too much attention to mom, you know oldies." She even smiled widely after she finished whispering that.
I just laughed in my mind at what she said, especially when she used the word oldies.
While we were eating, aunt's dish was constantly reaching me and occasionally she also take care of Gian's food.
Aunt is also right, what if I really got pregnant and I didn't tell them? What if something bad happens to me while I'm pregnant, especially if I'm far away from our relatives. What I did was wrong and I kept Gian a secret from them, even though he didn't come from me, they still have the right to know about Gian's entry into my life. Because even if my world is turned upside down, my aunt's family is my only legal second family and it is also my guardian even though I am a twenty-five now.
I'm still young, right?!