"Baby Marc?"
"He's not here, Diane"
Diane looked surprised when she stepped inside the guest room, I made it more clear to her what I meant.
"Gian is in Ash's room."
"He's at his papa's?" Diane quickly whispered to me.
I just nodded to her question, she sat next to me on the bed and I heard her sigh and I imitated what she just did so we laughed at my imitation of her.
"When will Hannah appear, it's getting hard to hide baby Marc from my family."
I swallowed my own saliva when I heard what Diane said, I think it would be better if Hannah didn't show up, we still managed to get through Diane's family, but if I think about Ash's appearance every time he is with Gian I also suddenly changed my mind that I wish Hannah would come back. I am very divided about what I want and for Gian's well-being. I don't know what weighs more on me. It's not right to follow what I want, that's being selfish.
"To be honest with you, there's a time when I don't want to give Gian back" I was just looking straight at my feet that were on their guest room tile floor while my toes were slowly moving.
I also noticed in my peripheral vision that Diane quickly turned her gaze to me, I just couldn't properly see her reaction to what I said since my eyes were too focused on my feet.
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah"
"Gill..."
"But of course I need to give Gian back especially when Hannah comes back" I said before facing Diane and bit my lower lip when I saw a pity on Diane's face.
Maybe I'm too pitiful for what I just said to her.
"I'm sorry... This is all my fault" Her shoulder dropped as she apologized.
"You don't have to be sorry, Diane." I even hit her lightly on the side of her arm to try to alter the growing emotions between us.
"No, Gill. It's my fault why you're feeling the way you're feeling now, if I didn't sympathize with you to hide baby Marc, you wouldn't feel it and experience it. I also didn't think that you'd love baby Marc so much that you even thought about not giving him back to my brother." It was long but I understood it immediately.
"What did you just say?"
Diane and I turned our gaze to the door almost at the same time where Ash was standing while carrying Gian who was hugging his neck, looks like he was already asleep.
"Brother..."
I don't know if my eyes can get widen even more due to my shock and my heart which was calm earlier, is now restless, and all I can do is take a deep breath. I also felt the coldness of my palm due to the fear I felt right now even though the air conditioner was in its low number. Suddenly the room became cold.
Diane immediately stood up from sitting but I didn't seem to be able to stand up, I felt my whole body became weak and I may fall down on the floor if I force myself to stand up. Ash entered the guest room and closed the door that Diane had left open earlier when she entered.
"Please say it again, Diane." He seriously asked Diane and alternately changed his gaze to me and his twin, Diane.
"I-- Because..." Diane seems couldn't know how to start her words.
"Let me ask you a question, Anna. I want you to be honest with me."
My mouth was just closed and I kept on swallowing my own saliva. My heart is still not really calming down, I also felt that it beats even more when Ash asked me.
"Is Gian my son?" He asked. His face earlier when he asked Diane was serious but when he turned his gaze to me, his face softened and his voice became gentle.
"Yes..." I directly replied to this question, I blinked a little and followed it with a nod.
Ash closed his eyes and held Gian's head and buried his face in Gian's neck. I also noticed Ash's shoulders moving up and down suddenly and I think he was crying. His face was still buried in Gian's neck while crying, I couldn't help but be emotional when I saw Ash's reaction when he found out that Gian was his son. It gave me chills throughout my whole body, this is not how I imagined their reunion.
"My baby..." He exclaimed, his voice still shaking.
"I'm so sorry, brother..." Diane said, crying as well, and Ash came over to their place to hug his twin. "I... I didn't mean--- to hide--- your son" Diane explained between her sobs.
Even I was sobbing but since I wasn't talking it wasn't obvious, I just kept rubbing my eyes to remove the series of tears that fell from my eyes and looked at Diane.
"Forgive me, brother"
"My baby..."
"I'm sorry..." I said weakly and just stayed my head bowed, I'm not even sure if Ash heard it.
It took us a minute before everyone calmed down from crying, Ash also laid Gian on the bed and I'm not sure if Ash also laid down next to Gian but I felt the bed moved which was a sign that someone had taken a seat on it.
A minute passed without a conversation between the three of us, Diane returned in sitting next to me, our backs were now facing Ash and Gian and I couldn't turn myself around to look at the two of them, I am still scared. The memory of when Ash got mad at me and started avoiding me came back.
"Let's talk." My heart almost fell to my stomach when I was surprised by Ash's sudden word, I also felt the bed moved again so I was sure he was standing up.
He walked out of the guest room, Diane and I looked at each other before we followed Ash who was already outside the door. His hands were inside his jogger pants pocket. Ash directly met my gaze, which I quickly avoided his stares.
"You stay here, Anna. We'll talk tomorrow." The tone of his voice is serious but you can see that every word he utters is not emphasized. I'm not sure if he is angry or not.
"Brother..." It was obvious in Diane's voice that she was afraid and her voice became gentle upon calling his twin brother.
Just like what he said, I stopped myself from leaving the guest room. Diane and I looked at each other again and she bit her lower lip before following her brother into his own room. The two of them were going to talk in Ash's room, I just closed the door of the guest room and slowly approached the bed and took a seat next to Gian.
Why haven't Ash and I talked together yet? He makes me feel more nervous as time goes on. I hugged Gian who was sleeping soundly and thought again.
"Are you going to leave me?"
I said out loud a question that should have been on my mind, I kept talking to myself again.
But I suddenly thought that Ash can take Gian from me now, he already knows the truth and I'm sure he won't let his son be with someone else especially from me cause we all know he doesn't like me. He is his only child, so he will definitely make sure that his son will be taken care of properly, then he will take Gian from me and ofcourse I can't argue with him taking Gian from me.
At the thought of that, tears formed in my eyes again and soon they began to flow.
I made our 'I love you' gesture to Gian while he was sleeping soundly.
"I'll always visit you here if they'll let me, my baby."