I looked from above and stare at the night sky. It was quite and the only thing that shines are the stars, we were both quite after that too, as if we know we should stay for a while as we feel the cold hug of the wind. Little by little, I realized that I am accepting everything with pain. After all the years I tried begging for love, here I am now accepting everything fully.
"I don't get why you love that guy so much you'd let him hurt you so bad."
I wiped the last tear I had in my face. I smiled as I looked at him, “Have you ever been in love, Lucas?”
A little curve showed on his lips. "What do you think?" He asked playfully.
I shook my head and laugh a bit, “I don’t think so. Because if you already did, you won’t ask me that.”
He bit his lower lip and shook his head. He even whispered some things but I couldn’t hear him properly.
I closed my eyes and feel everything, if Xavier is not meant to love me back, I won’t push it anymore. I will savor this pain until I heal and get over it. I’ll move forward now, I will feel everything for now. And when the time comes that the right person will come, I’ll make sure I’m fine. I’ll make sure I’ll be able to love him fully and dearly.
"You always look fascinated with the stars and the moon," he whispered. I just nodded at him.
"They're comforting, I felt safe whenever I look at them. It gives me peace." I explained.
"It felt lonely too," He whispered. I couldn't say anything, there’s something in his eyes that shows how sad he is even though he laughs.
He closed his eyes, feeling the cold wind.
We stayed silent. I let myself feel the peaceful night, I know I shouldn't ask because if he wants to talk about it for sure, he’ll open up. Maybe he just want my presence here, so if my silence would make him feel better, I will stay here and won’t bother him until he feels okay.
I hugged myself and stared at him silently.
Since the first time I knew him and get the chance to talk to him about things, I feel comfortable around him. Especially when I don’t have anyone to talk to when Xavier was busy, he was there to accompany me and make sure I’m fine.
I met his stare the moment he opened his eyes. I smiled at him, hoping I could make him feel better even with that.
"Let's go home," he whispered. I just nodded at him and accepted his offered hand, so I could stand properly.
We were still quite when we reached his big bike and even until we get home. And even though I’m not sure if he feels better now, I just hope and didn’t bother him.
I turned to face him again before I could enter the gate, he was still standing there waiting for me to come in.
I bit my lower lip as I let myself hug him, "I don't know what's going on, if you have problem or what, but I hope you feel better now. Good night," I whispered after I loosen up my hug.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered back after he pulled me for another hug. “Thank you,” he said and let me go. 
 
I couldn’t react and feel my face heating, maybe because of shock when he hugged me again or maybe because of the embarrassment that I was the first one who hugged him. I’m not sure, I don’t know!
I almost run just so I could hide myself from him. I haven’t even said goodbye to him properly because of embarrassment.
What the hell is that? You fool. And why did I suddenly rush in here? He might think that I just hugged him out of pity, I don’t want him to feel that way argh! I groaned because of frustration for myself.
I sighed when I received a message from him.
Lucas:
I'm home, are you asleep?
I stare at it for I don’t know how long before I could respond on him.
Maybe he feels better now. Glad to know that he is, I really thought he would feel bad about what happened.
Me:
I was about to go to sleep, now. I’m sorry about earlier.
Though I was nervous as I wait for his reply. Maybe I shouldn’t bring that up.
Lucas:
You should sleep now it's late.
I bit my lower lip, maybe he really thinks I just did that out of pity. I didn’t! I really wanted to hug him because that’s the least I could do to make him feel better.
Me:
I was really embarrassed that’s why I rushed inside my apartment. Sorry if I make you feel bad. Please sleep, you need to rest too.
I sighed and put my phone on the side of my bed. I didn't wait for his reply and let myself fall asleep.
-
“Is this really your another day of spacing out, Vy? You sure? This would be the third day. Are you okay? Do you want me to entertain you so you would focus here? Gosh!”
I looked at Rica who is now standing beside me, arms crossed. She’s really that exaggerated that I didn’t bother answering her. Though she really looked pissed, I know she’s just worried.
“You’re spacing out really bad for three days now, Vy. Do you want me to tie your mind here so it would stop from flying somewhere else? I was talking to you since earlier, what the hell?
“Sorry, I was just thinking of something Rica.” I apologized.
Our team then looked at me worriedly.
“What really is your problem, Vy? The convention would be next week. You have to participate there and do the activities, if you’re like that, I don’t think you would be able to do good there,” Jonas, our team leader said as he walked towards us and stopped beside Rica.
“Stop pressuring her Jonas, Rica that won't help. Vy whatever is bothering you please set it aside for now. And you can always tell us what is wrong, we will always listen to you," it was Billy, our senior designer.
“Come on Vy, we need you to keep your focus in here,” Roxanne said politely.
“Sorry I'm fine, don't worry I'll focus now,” I smiled to assure them. Jonas give me a tap and ask our team to get back to work. 
 
It was hard but I really did my best to focus on my work. Luckily, I was able to do it. I decided to talk to Rica when we were heading out of our office.
“Veronica, can you tell me what really is happening?” she was really worried for days. I can’t blame her though, I admit, I was consistently spacing out.
I sighed and decided to tell her, “We broke up.” I said straight to the point. Though that's not really the reason why I'm spacing out, I just think I need to mention it to her.
As usual the exaggerated Rica is here in front of me so shock with my news.
“What the hell?”
“Ahuh and I'm moving on,” I said. She couldn't believe so I told her everything, even about Samantha.
She couldn't react anything, maybe it was hard for her to absorb everything that I told her. And I was really on the edge of laughing when I realized she really couldn’t talk out of shock. Though I just smiled and shook my head on her.
“Good thing you broke up with him!” she said irritated after a long moment of silence.
“Don’t mind that. Let’s go home.”
“You really should move on! I’ll set a blind date for you so you would forget about that asshole,” she said looking like she wanted to punch Xavier on the face.
I just let her talk and remained silent on her side, ‘coz for sure even though I stop her, she would definitely won’t listen and continue her rants.
And besides it was relieving to know that at least she's always here for me.
Though I suddenly wanted to go back to our office and hide there the moment I saw him waiting for me.
“Oh, I thought you wanted to go home now? Why are you still standing there?” Rica asked when she noticed that I stopped.
I really wanted to be invisible right now.
“What kind of drama is this, girl?” she asked exaggeratedly. I looked at her and signed her to lower her voice but she couldn’t just get it.
“Veronica,” he called me seriously. 
 
I almost froze where I stand when I heard his voice. Why is he here?
“Lucas!” I called him awkwardly. Rica then looked at Lucas who is now standing almost in front of us. He just looked at me with his amused gaze. Why the hell did I forgot to tell Rica about Lucas?
“You know him?” Rica asked with a hint of teasing. I couldn’t answer her.
“Miss, Can I have some time with your friend? I think we had misunderstanding,” Lucas suddenly said that to my friend who is now literally blushing and looking at me accusingly.
I couldn’t react. I was just there standing and shock. What the hell is he talking about?
“Oh, I didn't know my friend here is dating someone already. Well, I don’t mind. Just make sure to take care of her okay? I’m her friend, Rica. By the way, you are?” she said trying to tease me on Lucas. I rolled my eyes on her, this witch!
“Don't worry, I'll take care of her. I'm Lucas by the way. Sorry I didn’t told her I’ll come today,” he was talking to my friend but his eyes were fixed on mine.
“Alright, no worries. For sure my friend here is so happy to see you here, you two should enjoy!”
“Okay then, thank you. It was nice meeting you,” Lucas said politely.
After that, Rica leave us two alone.
“Why aren't you answering any of my texts and calls? Are you mad at me?”
That was the first thing he asked me the moment we were left alone. My heart was beating so fast and wild, what the hell is this?