Tag(s):
• Beauty
• Fast paced
• Femalelead
• HappyEnding
• Healing
• Lighthearted
• Love triangle
• painful love
• Slice of life
• Sweet

The love that I knew wasn't like the ones written in a book. It wasn't beautiful and magical. It doesn't bring butterflies in my stomach and it doesn't make me feel special. It doesn't feel like home, I do not feel secured. It does not make me feel safe and worthy. The love that I experience doesn't feel like love. I'm not really sure if it is love because it made me doubt, insecure and made me feel unloved. And all I experience was pain. No it was torture. To see him love someone else when all I could do is to love him and let him love her. Now I don't know if I could ever love someone else, After him.

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Book Comment (2)

• 
  JinCheon

  Nice chapter

  8d

    0
• 
  Althea

  I like it so much

  07/05

    0

• Total: 56

• Prologue

  Was it a love if it feels suffocating or was it a trap?
  We live in a world where everyone seeks for a

• Chapter 1

  I didn't know why we talked to each other so sudden. I knew he was Lucas, I kind of heard his name.

• Chapter 2

  He's nice and always smiles that why it is not hard to get along with him easily. He's also gentlema

• Chapter 3

  Xavier didn’t love me. He never did, he never learned to.
  Because even though, he was with me for yea

• Chapter 4

  I was too occupied with my work when my phone rang. Xavier’s calling.
  I sighed as I felt my heart bea

• Chapter 5

  “I missed talking to you,” he said out of nowhere.
  My heart beat fast. Even though he hurt me, every

• Chapter 6

  “Stop teasing me, Lucas!” I said while laughing.
  “Where do you want to eat?” he changed the topic. I

• Chapter 7

  There’s nothing wrong with this right? There will be no bad things that might happen because I am no

• Chapter 8

  “Date? Are you serious, Xavier?” I faked a laugh and tried to pull my hand out of his hold. He then

• Chapter 9

  "What?" he asked plainly.
  “Why didn’t you punch him?” I asked a bit irritated.
  Shock was all over his

• Chapter 10

  When we reached my apartment, I invited him inside but he refused.
  “Are you sure?”
  He nodded before an

• Chapter 11

  “We can’t broke up Vy, let’s fix this. Don’t you want that interview with the band and Samantha? Fin

• Chapter 12

  I looked from above and stare at the night sky. It was quite and the only thing that shines are the

• Chapter 13

  I couldn’t say anything. He’s very serious that made my heart beat even faster. I’m fucking nervous

• Chapter 14

  “Come inside, it’s late,” he said in a low voice.
  I didn’t move, I stayed standing beside him while h

• Chapter 15

  Lucas assisted me to my room before he proceed to his. We agreed to meet after my activities in the

• Chapter 16

  He really looks like a goddess to me, even now that I can only see his back. He’s so hot that I coul

• Chapter 17

  “Hi,” I greeted him. He’s wearing a simple white sleeveless shirt and a khaki short. He still look s

• Chapter 18

  I turned back at Lucas and swim again, trying to get away more. 
  Maybe I shouldn’t think about it too

• Chapter 19

  “First time? When it was my first time it almost look like a disaster. You even put a shading and lo

• Chapter 20

  We saw Miss Marisa when we get down but she ignore us. Lucas then pulled me even closer to him. We d

• Chapter 21

  “You two should talk. Call me if there’s something wrong okay? I’ll leave now,” he said in his deep

• Chapter 22

  Walking up the next morning was exhausting. I haven’t done anything yet but I already feel tired. I

• Chapter 23

  I was like a baby crying on his chest. All we could hear is my sobs and his soft curses sometimes. H

• Chapter 24

  I suddenly felt weak. I don’t even know why I feel this way. It was as if there’s new baggage that I

• Chapter 25

  “But we were not there with Samantha, Gail. Even though they have a plan he can just simple be with

• Chapter 26

  “Do you want me to court you again that’s why you’re being hard now? If that’s what you want then fi

• Chapter 27

  The next morning Gail didn't let me go to work but I pushed her to go to hers. I don't want to cause

• Chapter 28

  “I did not broke up with him because he loves someone else, Tito. It wasn’t my reason because I’ve a

• Chapter 29

  Our friendship has been through a lot too, there were times that our opinions are not aligned but th

• Chapter 30

  We remained silent until we reached Gail's house. I still have her phone but I am not using it.
  Their

• Chapter 31

  "Gosh, why is your ex like that? Fuck it, you're just minding your own life. Why does he have to do

• Chapter 32

  I woke up the next morning with Gail's voice. She's waking me up for some reasons.
  "What?" I asked, m

• Chapter 33

  I was with three guys on this car. They were all quite as we leave. While I couldn't stop myself fro

• Chapter 34

  She waited for me to answer. Does she know anything about whatever Lucas and I have?
  She laughed agai

• Chapter 35

  We continued talking until one in the afternoon. She probably saw that I look tired so she asked me

• Chapter 36

  I was on the verge of falling asleep when I heard the door of this room opened and then closed after

• Chapter 37

  "Hi Vy, how are you? Did you two already leave? I'm preparing my things now. They said I will be fet

• Chapter 38

  I wanted to be pissed but I felt more sad. I want to ask him what's the problem but I'm scared for h

• Chapter 39

  The longer that I think of it, the more I felt irritated. So I decided to take a bath. I couldn't st

• Chapter 40

  "Let's talk," he said softly. He guided me to the sofa he's sitting earlier. And I suddenly felt the

• Chapter 41

  He held out my hand and guided me to my room. He's quiet and serious as I am. When we reached my roo

• Chapter 42

  At 5:00 o'clock in the morning, we decided to leave. I took a bath first while Gail was busy prepari

• Chapter 43

  "It wasn't intentional but I wouldn't say sorry," he said like a child. I just made a face and remov

• Chapter 44

  I took a bath and wore comfortable shirt and short and decided to sleep. When I woke up, Gail is alr

• Chapter 45

  I woke up the next day because of the sunlight that's hitting my face. I smiled as I remembered how

• Chapter 46

  "If you really don't agree with my plans then why are you close to her? Why is it so sudden? Why doe

• Chapter 47

  I love you now, Lucas. But this, this is too much. I have loved you unconsciously and now here I am—

• Chapter 48

  I sighed and start reading all the notifications and messages that I received. I made sure, I've see

• Chapter 49

  My whole life, I’ve never thought about anyone else but other people — the people around me. There w

• Chapter 50

  I heard almost everyone gasp for air, and some whispered in shock. They didn’t recognize me, or mayb

• Chapter 51

  Days passed, and everything slowly went back to normal.
  After the interview, the people waiting outsi

• Chapter 52

  The loud thumping in my chest proved the strange anxiety I was feeling. In the past few months that

• Chapter 53

  Back then, when I didn’t know him yet, all I ever thought about was how to please Xavier, how to mak

• Chapter 54

  "Are you okay?" I asked.
  "I’m nervous," he admitted, which made me smile as I hugged him back.
  "Don’t

• Chapter 55

  I kissed him passionately, and I almost lost myself when I felt him kiss me back with the same inten