"I know Kaitlin, but I can't leave her alone today, please understand," I heard a whisper and understood that it was Nathan and that he was on the phone with Kaitlin. I let out an annoyed breath and slowly opened my eyes, and as I expected he hung up immediately. "Good morning baby," he whispered in my ear and kissed my hairline. "Morning," I replied coldly, getting up in annoyance. But before I could get out of bed, he pulled me back and wouldn't let me get out of bed. He looked me confused in the eyes and waited for me to talk and explain what's going on.
But I didn't explain to him what's going on, because he should know that himself. He should know himself what he has done and where his mistake is. And no, his fault is not that he went out with her yesterday, but that he calls her now at 8 a.m. and then hangs up when I wake up immediately. So he's hiding it from me and that means he's going to do something today that I won't like. I know that and I want him to know that.
I want him to know what he's doing wrong. "What's wrong baby?" he kept asking me but I didn't answer him and managed to push him down and immediately went to the bathroom. I immediately locked myself in there and waited for him to walk away from the door. But he didn't go, he didn't want to step away from the door. So I stayed in the bathroom and he in front of the door. We both waited, I waited for him to leave and he waited for me to start talking and explain what was going on. And to be honest he could wait a long time for it.
"Go away Nathan!" I yelled, but he objected. "No, not before you explain what's going on! And why you're so cold to me! Besides, since when do you lock yourself in the bathroom when you want to talk?!" he yelled too and I sighed. "Nathan go away, I don't want to talk," I replied, unable to keep my voice from shaking this time. "Baby come out and let's talk about it, whatever it is, let's talk about it," he asked me and I started to think. I didn't know what was right and what was wrong.
He's my friend and that's why I should talk to him about it, but then again, he won't understand me anyway. I don't do that, so he won't understand me. And even if he would understand me, it's pointless to talk to him about it. He will promise me to change, the first two days it's going perfectly and on the third day he's the same again. So what's the use of talking, nothing's going to change anyway. At least that's what I thought, Nathan disagreed. "Please baby," I heard him say.
"It's nothing," I replied, slowly opening the door. I was waiting there for Nathan, who immediately hugged me and whispered in my ear: "What's up baby? Why are you locking yourself in the bathroom?" "I got my periods because of that," I lied, but apparently he bought it because he let go of me and nodded in understanding. "Would you like me to bring you anything? Do you need anything?", and so he started caring for me. But I shook my head twice, the only thing I needed right now was my rest and some time to myself to think.
"Can you leave me alone, I want to rest," I mumbled and he nodded his understanding and walked downstairs. I lay down on my bed and tried to sleep. I really wanted to rest, but then again I needed him. I needed his closeness, I had to lie on his chest to be able to fall asleep. "I need you..." I whispered to myself and got tears in my eyes again. "I need you too princess", I heard him and he pulled me onto his chest and stroked my hair. "I love you so much baby," I heard him say.
A few minutes later I fell asleep peacefully. I slept perfectly, without pain and didn't even have to wake up once. A few hours later I woke up to a murmur and slowly and sleepily went downstairs. There I saw Kaitlin and Nathan cuddling and laughing while watching a comedy movie. I feel like the third wheel, like the best friend while they were in the relationship. Maybe I'm the third wheel too..

****
"Oh hey babe," Nathan said, laughing, breaking away from Kaitlin. "Hey..." I whispered and turned to walk away. I didn't want to go up, not with Kaitlin here, but I'd like to go to the kitchen for a glass of water. "Where are you going?" I heard my boyfriend ask and I knew he was jumping off the couch. He came towards me and turned me to him. As he turned me towards him with full force, I hit his chest and looked into his warm eyes. "Where are you going Bebe?" he asked me.
"To the kitchen," I answered coldly, trying to pull away from him. "I'll come with you," he told me and I looked at him confused. "I'm only going to drink water, so go back to Kaitlin, otherwise the poor thing will still cry," I answered coldly and broke away from him. Just as he was about to say something, Kaitlin yelled, "Baby where are you staying?" Nathan sighed and I rolled my eyes, it was so clear that she was going to call out to him immediately. What am I expecting? It's always like this and it's starting to annoy me. I don't want her anymore.
She should just go and leave me and my boyfriend alone. But of course she doesn't, why should she? It's very nice for her to rather be with him all the time with us and destroy our relationship. What else would she like to do? Just sit around and give us a little free space as a couple? Nathan went to her annoyed and I also went into the living room. I didn't feel like drinking anymore, not if she took advantage of it and made a move on Nathan.
"What are you doing here?" Kaitlin asked me and I rolled my eyes. "I can ask you that, it's still my house. If you have a problem that I'm here, you can leave," I grumbled and Nathan grinned slightly. He scoots over to me and whispers in my ear, "I love that side of you." I smiled slightly but didn't say anything. "Nathan, baby come to me," she interrupted again and I sighed. Nathan whispered something else, but I wasn't really listening. "Nathan, come here," she repeated, and I made a fist with my hand. "Nathan come here," I mimicked.
Of course Nathan heard that and chuckled to himself. I looked at him questioningly, meaning: "What is it? What are you laughing at?" He shook his head but stayed with me, which relieved me. Even if I didn't admit it, I didn't want him to go to her, I wanted him to stay with me, and he did. I think he realized I didn't want it. "I love you baby," he whispered in my ear, placing his hand on my left thigh. I felt a tingling in my stomach and smiled slightly.
"I love you too babe," I replied, smiling, weakening slightly. "Nathan!" Kaitlin yelled and I winced. But Nathan didn't answer and pulled me even closer. "Nathan please don't leave me..." I whispered to myself, burying my head in his chest. "I won't," he replied, and I realized he heard me. "Nathan, baby, why are you with her? Come to me, I need you," she tried to convince him. I knew that part of the time he wanted to go to her, but he stayed with me and that made her very angry.
You could see it, I could see it, and it made me angry. How could she be so heartless and hit on someone? Although she knew very well that he had been taken for a long time. Though she knew his heart was mine, but maybe it was a test. Maybe it was a test for us, maybe it's that time where we have to fight for each other to prove our love for each other. Or it was Kaitlin's game to distance us and separate us. I don't understand them and probably never will.
How can a girl do that to another girl. How can a girl hurt another girl when she knows how much he means to me and how much he means to me. How can she do that? She's not ashamed at all, what if something like that happened to her? What if you stole her boyfriend? How would she feel? She knows exactly how much that would hurt you, but still does it to me. But one thing I know, in the end she will lose, I won't give up on Nathan and he won't give up on me.
We didn't do that at the beginning and we won't do it in the future either. "Baby can't we have some time to ourselves?" I whispered in his ear and he smiled at me. "Of course, Kaitlin, it would be better if you left now," Nathan explained to her and I smiled slightly. "But I don't want to babe, we can still spend some time, please don't spend so much time lately," she tried to persuade him and I rolled my eyes in annoyance. "Nathan, I'm going to go to the bathroom," I mumbled to him and he nodded and then kissed my forehead.
I got up slowly and walked up our wooden stairs. Down the hall where families were pictures of me and my family, we looked so happy like we had no problems. And it really was then, but times have changed and nothing remains of this happy family. Back then I would have expected anything except my family falling to pieces. And the fear that Nathan and I, our relationship will fall to pieces as well. When I got to the bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror for a long time and then washed my face.
It had been 5 maybe even 10 minutes since I was in the bathroom. And I was on my mind the whole time and I was thinking about Nathan and I and my family. How much I missed them, both of them left without thinking of me and live somewhere in the world. They've probably started a new life and are both happy, but their marriage broke me. As I dried my face with a towel I exited the bathroom and went back downstairs to see Nathan and Kaitlin. But they didn't talk, they kissed...