"How could you do that! We're so disappointed in you! We trusted you and you're cheating on Nathan! Our friends' son?! Don't you dare come home again, you died for us, the rest of your stuff will be sent to you. But don't you ever dare to contact us," I said and got tears in my eyes again. Just as I finished reading my mother's profile picture removed and I knew she blocked me. And it hurt so much that I was about to give up.
If even my own family doesn't believe me, doesn't listen to me and doesn't trust me. Then how can I expect that from Nathan? How can I expect him to do what even my family didn't do? So that means it's time to start a new chapter, without my family. And without Nathan... But before that I had to clarify something, after that you can go out of my life for my sake. I just want to clear my name so no one thinks I'm a whore in the future. Cheating on your boyfriend or husband. As bad as it sounds, I don't want Nathan in my life anymore either.
Because he didn't trust me. When I trusted him, he was still angry with me. But now that he doesn't trust me and believes some shit.
_~FLASHBACK~_
_~2.5 YEARS AGO~_
"Nathan I'm here babe!" I yelled and closed his front door. Just as I was about to go up to his room, I heard breathing in the living room and turned there. You could see from the stairs into the living room and the dining room or rather the dining table was in front of the kitchen. "N-Nathan..." I whispered, my lower lip starting to tremble. Was that real what I just saw? Was he really into something with his ex? "Alessia, I can explain it to you!" he yelled deftly, looking at the floor. Where the plate and my cake I made for him just lay. Both were broken in pieces, as was my heart. And it fucking hurt, a lot. "Please do it! Don't shut up and tell me what's going on!" I yelled, tears in my eyes, trying not to sob. "I'll go then," said the girl next to him and already disappeared from the house. Nathan slowly walked towards me and wanted to put his hands on my cheeks, but I wouldn't let him. "Explain it to me!" Was all I said and he looked at me sadly. "I thought you were coming and then she just jumped into my arms and before I could do anything she showed me that she made a video that she would send you if I didn't do it," he explained to me and looked at the floor. I could tell that he was sorry and embarrassed about it, so I jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly. Nathan slowly walked towards me and wanted to put his hands on my cheeks, but I wouldn't let him. "Explain it to me!" Was all I said and he looked at me sadly. "I thought you were coming and then she just jumped into my arms and before I could do anything she showed me that she made a video that she would send you if I didn't do it," he explained to me and looked at the floor. I could tell that he was sorry and embarrassed about it, so I jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly. Nathan slowly walked towards me and wanted to put his hands on my cheeks, but I wouldn't let him. "Explain it to me!" Was all I said and he looked at me sadly. "I thought you were coming and then she just jumped into my arms and before I could do anything she showed me that she made a video that she would send you if I didn't do it," he explained to me and looked at the floor. I could tell that he was sorry and embarrassed about it, so I jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly.
_~REVIEW END~_
Was it an excuse then? Or had he told me the truth? I let him finish and didn't throw our relationship away, but he did. He just threw them away, he threw away 3 damn years. That's 1092 days, 8736 hours, 21840 minutes and so on. And he just throws that time away. Apparently he didn't love me as much as I loved him. From now on I was on my own whether I wanted to or not.
I didn't have my family anymore, they said so themselves. They don't want to hear from me anymore, so they won't hear from me again until I die. But then it will be too late to do anything. From now on there is no going back, no giving up or anything else. I will change completely and I will clear my name. No matter what Kaitlin will do for it.
_~2 WEEKS LATER~_
Almost nothing has changed in the two weeks. Nathan is still mad at me and avoids me. Whenever we meet, he gives me the coldest look ever. Also, he's with Kaitlin most of the time, and you could tell they were dating. My parents sent me all my things to our, or rather my, apartment in Duisburg. I'll be gone next week, and while I'm here I need to clear my name. There is no other way. After that Nathan can disappear from my life and I start a new life without him.
As hard as it is, I still love him, but if he believes some rumor and ignores me without listening, then I don't know if he really loves me. Because I listened to him then, and so he had to listen to me. But he didn't. He drew the line without thinking of anything or listening to me. So it's over with us, I can't do anything about it and I won't. I've been fighting for him for too long, I want him to go and get together with Kaitlin. Because that was his goal from the start.