Isaac Gray Holster Elizalde's POV
"Dad! I said…I don't know where he is!" I hissed in frustration as my father kept on telling me to look for my brother...my fucking brother Ethan who left us five years ago. Why does he have to ask me about Ethan?
I fucking forget about that guy five years ago when I saw him with the love of my life. The last time I checked he was in Spain. Yes, in Spain. At first, I don’t know why he chose Spain but when I saw them together then it all occurred to me why. And, I just couldn’t believe it. He went to Spain because Deanara was there. You know what hurts the most? It was the fact that they had a child together.
For the record, I don’t believe them. I don’t believe it when Ethan told me that baby was his because that is really impossible. I don’t think Deanara will do that. He gave himself to me, so I know that child was my baby. It’s my son. It’s fucking my son no matter what Ethan told me that that guy is his son.
I was so close to fighting for her, so close to going to her and asking her to choose me. It’s my kid. But…I didn’t. I didn’t do it because I wasn’t ready to face her nor I was scared of the responsibility. I didn’t do it because during that time I know it will again create another humor knowing Ethan and I will fight for the baby. The issue between her and Mattel hadn’t subsided. The people are still accusing her that she’s a timer and that she cheated on Mattel with Ethan. It was too heartbreaking for her knowing the truth. And, I know…I was fucking sure that she didn’t do it.
It’s still not clear to me as to why she did it. I still don’t know why she chose to marry Mattel. But, I am sure it has something to do with her mother. I couldn’t never blame her for that. And, it’s done. I could never bring it back. We could never bring it back and the best thing to do is to move on from it.
Honestly, I wanted to confront Deanara during that time. Ethan and I fought during those times. It was even close to death, but I realized that Deanara would be sad knowing that I hurt Ethan or that we are fighting. She always wants us to be together…to get close together and it was ironic because she is now the reason why I am starting to hate Ethan again.
I didn’t fight for Deanara during those times because I am sure she is not going to choose me. And, I would just ruin her but it doesn’t mean I stopped…and I will stop. I came back to her after a month, to finally talk to her and settle things with her. Unfortunately, she was no longer there. No one could even tell me where she is because no one knew where she went with Ethan.
I don’t have any communication with Ethan. He didn’t tell us where he was. He left with Deanara and they are probably in another world now. Maybe happy? I don’t know. And, I don’t want to think about it.
I thought I was going to forget about her. I thought that eventually I will be able to move on from her because honestly…she left me and she no longer has any intention of coming back. I was sure of that. But, I didn't know that she had my child. It’s my child. She can deny it all she wants but I know it’s mine. Even with all the news about her cheating or about how she was two-timed or how flirted with she was…I believe that she couldn’t do it. I clearly know that it’s mine. I am going to take responsibility for my kid…but she doesn’t want me to. Why?
I kept on asking myself why. At first, I blamed her. Seriously, I put all the blame on her. I hate her so much even though I still love her…and I really want to just forget about her. But, it all occurred to me. I was stupid. I hadn’t thought about it. I was busy paying attention to the reason why she left me. That I forget to look for myself. To see what I had done for her to be like that. I started retracing my steps…and that’s when I knew that it was clearly my fault.
Not entirely my fault but it was Vivian’s fault that I had to really remove her from my life. Vivian has always been there for the past years. We grew up together and she was there with me. She was my first love…and the woman I thought was going to marry me. But, she cheated on me. She cheated on me with my brother. And, during those times I fucking hate the world for getting me the two most important people in my life. I had to move on with that. I had to live the world without them. It was hard for me because I kept coming back to Vivian and I even agreed to have a secret relationship with her…just to be with her. I know I am an ass and I would forever be sorry about it. But, it was my brother who started it.
However, I stopped. I fucking stop and ended it when I met Deanara. I swear I did even though Vivian kept on coming back. I stopped it and just told her that we are just going to remain friends forever. I told her that we should stop and she should be honest. After that, nothing happened again. I focused on Deanara. I’d be honest, at first she was just a rebound for me to forget Vivian but eventually she showed me a different meaning of love…making me sure that she is really that woman I am going to love for the rest of my life. Vivian might be the first girl in my life…but she will be the last woman in my life. And, I am going to fulfill that until the end.
Now…I don’t know where she is. She’s with Ethan now. Damn! As much as I want to hate her, I know she was hurt when she knew about us and Vivian. She should have let me explain. It’s not real. But, she didn’t let me explain. She left. I think I deserve that too. And, if only I know where she is…I am going to do anything to have her forgiveness.
I don’t know where she is. For the last five years, I traveled the world to see her…to find her. But, I didn’t. She was good at hiding now that I don’t even know where to find her. No one can tell me where she is now. I am losing hope…but I am still holding on to the fact that if we are really meant to be…then we will always be together.
“Can you do something about it?” My father said. He was mad now. Pissed at me or probably at Ethan for leaving us….and the company. It was evident that it was Ethan that’s going to manage our company and I never had a say on that. I never said a thing about it because it’s to my advantage.
When he left, I had to fill up the space. I had to be the perfect son who needs to take care of our company which is kinda hard because I still need to take care of my business. And, I was never the father's boy. It was always my mother. So, I was really devastated when she died. How I wished, she didn't die.
My grandfather is sick. That is why they are looking for Ethan. For years, I managed to make our company on top. But, it isn't just for me and I am not perfect. I am not good at this so it wasn't easy for me to do it. Fuck! It wasn't really easy for me actually be in this company when I also have a lot of problems to settle.
Now, they need Ethan because my grandfather's life is already at risk. Of course, they want to see Ethan and finally gave him the company.
Unfortunately, I don't know where to find Ethan and the love of my life as they vanished before me. I don't have someone to tell me where they are.
"Do something about it, Gray!" My father said. "Don't sit tight and look for him because we need him. You can't forever manage the company and at the same time manage your airline. You need to choose one and I know you are going to choose the airline. So, for god sake, find Ethan so we can settle this!"
I sighed. Fuck! I hate this. I went to my office and asked my secretary to find me all the working email addresses that Ethan had used in his entire life. If this will not work, I don't know what else will. Do I need to create a billboard or announce it on national television and even in international television so that he'll know about it. Damn it! I want to do that but my grandfather doesn't want to let the world know about his condition and I have to respect that.
After sending my emails to Ethan, I went to check some sites then went to my airline. It was already sunset when I decided to drive around the city without a destination. It's my hobby now. This is the only way that gives me life now when everything is falling apart.
The next day, I haven't received an email from Ethan yet. It went on like that for a week and my father is definitely on the verge of killing me. Until such time, he called for a meeting telling that Ethan's going to come back.
You know, a part of me was waiting for that to happen because I might see Deanara again. I know they are still together and if Ethan will come back…Deanara will be there too. I have been waiting for that time. Although, I cannot say that I am ready. I can't say that this is the right time for this…I will never be ready for this…but still I want to see her and clarify things. I want to know the truth. It's my son. I know he is.
But, then…Ethan came back. I even secretly went to the airport when I learned about his flight just to check if he was with Deanara. He wasn't. He was alone, making me think where Deanara is or if they are together. I had a leap of faith that maybe Deanara just used Ethan and they are not really together. I'd like to make myself believe in those facts because that's the only thing that's keeping me from not hating my brother even more.
It's been weeks since Ethan came back. I could now freely move around because he's there now. Finally! I could now manage my airlines without thinking about our company. Although, I still had to continue being an engineer for some of our projects that I had signed.
For a week, I tried hard not to ask Ethan about Deanara. I never talked to him except with regards to our company. There are moments where I want to ask him, but I couldn't. I hate myself because I couldn't ask him.
So, I waited. Maybe…they are just settling things or arranging things between them. Until I was able to confirm that he is still indeed with Deanara.
"Yes, baby!" I heard Ethan talking over the phone. I was in the coffee room while he was on the table adjacent to this room where I could hear him talking over the phone.
I got here first, so he wasn't able to notice my presence as he was busy talking to a kid…a boy. Is it my son?
"How are you doing?" Ethan asked. "How's Mommy? Are you taking care of her?"
"Yes, daddy! She's busy signing papers. I miss you, daddy! Are you okay there?"
"Yeah. I miss you, too. When will I see you?"
"Mom said tomorrow is our flight. Maybe, we'll be there the day after tomorrow. I brought a lot of chocolates for you."
"Really? Okay, then. Let me know if you are already here so I can pick you up at the airport."
I wasn't able to hear the other part of their conversation as Ethan was called by one of our staff for his meeting. I stood there…grinning and smiling ear to ear because I know I am going to see Deanara. I have been waiting for this.
I decided to just stay at the airport because I am not sure about their arrival and I don't want to ask Ethan about it. There's a nearby coffee shop in the airport, so I stayed there for days calculating when they arrived. I wasted a lot of money buying coffee I didn't even drink just to stay here.
It was already a bit late…the sun was starting to go down. Maybe this isn't the day or maybe this is the day. I decided to go back inside the airport to check. I was already at the door when I heard someone shouting. And, my whole world stiffened because I recognized that voice. How can I forget that voice?
"Hey! Hey! Don't run!"
Before I could even move, a little kid bumped into me. On normal days, I wouldn't care and would just let him go but when I closely looked at him and saw myself in his gray eyes…then I knew that destiny had given me another chance.
“I’m sorry.” I heard the child say when he bumped into me. He shook his head and smiled a little. He even caressed his forehead.
My heart leaped for joy. I felt that. I know this feeling. This is my child. How could not this be my child when he looks exactly like me. Deanara can deny it all her wants, but I know the truth. This is mine.
“I’m sorry, too.” I smiled at him. “Did it hurt?” I leaned closer and checked his forehead. He’s so cute. I can see myself when I was a kid.
“No. It’s okay! It’s also my fault for not looking because I am so excited. Sorry, it’s my first time here.”
“Who’s with you?”
He pointed at someone behind him and I gathered all my strength to look at her. Fuck! I imagine the day that I am going to see her and think about what I am going to do with her. I have a lot of things I want to do with her and seeing her now…all I want to do is wrap her around my arms.
I love her so much and it hurts.
“My mother!” He excitedly said. “Mom! Let’s go!” He waved to her mother who was standing looking at Sae, avoiding my gaze.
She looks stunning. She cut her hair short and colored it with gray. She has a smile that I always wanted to see, but it no longer reaches her eyes. She’s still beautiful even if time has gone by. I still longed for her and she’s still the woman I want to marry.
She can still make me speechless.
“Mom! Let’s go!”
I didn’t move. I smelled her perfume when she passed by me. My heart was beating so fast and I tried my best not to do something that would make her hate me. I managed to until they went inside.
I stood there…not knowing what to do. I composed myself and was supposed to go back inside when Ethan appeared in front of me.
“Ethan!” I gritted my teeth. I have forgotten about this. Fuck! Yes, of course. He will be here.
“Gray!” He nodded and smiled a little. “What are you doing here?”
“What are you doing here?”
“I am here to pick up my son.”
“Is he really your son?”