Deanara Samaniego's POV
"Is there something wrong, mother?" Sae asked me.
I was taken aback for a second before shaking my head. He looked at me with confused eyes and felt like he was waiting for me to say something again before he went back into playing with his toys again.
We are inside his playroom that Ethan had made for him. And, it's also like a cinema room because Sae loves watching cinemas and also playing video games.
We've been staying here in their house for just a day, but it felt like forever. My heart is so heavy as I stare at my son…not knowing what I am really going to do.
"Uh, nothing." I lied. "I am just tired of my work. Go, continue playing or do you want to watch a movie?"
He shook his head. "I am waiting for Daddy Ethan. He told me we'll play a game when he comes back."
I nodded. "Okay. Just play."
He smiled at me before going back to what he was doing while I looked at him. How can I tell him that?
Gray had given me a week…damn! A week? Does he really expect me to do it in a week? I cannot believe this! I really don't know what I am going to do. How? How can I tell Sae that everything is a lie? He would surely hate me now.
"Sae…" I called him.
"Hmm?" He asked without looking at me. "Is there something wrong, mother?"
This time, my five-year old son stopped from what he was doing to check up on me. I was sitting on the couch when he leaned on my lap and stared at me.
"Why are your eyes like that?" He pointed at my eyes.
"Ha? What do you mean?" I clarified while wiping my eyes. "Mommy is fine."
"You don't seem fine to me. You look like you are about to cry." He pouted. "Why are you so sad?"
He pouted. "I don't want you to be sad. So, tell me, mother. Who's making you sad? I am going to punch them."
I laughed a little. He is really a mini-version of Gray. It's really obvious that Gray is his father. How could I deny that? He even has the proof now. And, it's not like I will be able to keep it forever.
"No. I am just tired from work and I lack sleep."
"Then, you should sleep now.” He checked his watch before getting his phone and started typing. “I told Daddy Ethan that we are going to sleep now, so I could no longer wait for him because you need to sleep.”
Sae stood up and held my hand, but I was too tired to even move. I am sure that this isn't about work, but more of life. I am kinda tired and sick of everything.
“Sae...what if…” I sighed. Okay, this is it. He deserves to know the truth and it would just put a lot of damage than it ever has right now if I continue with all of this lies.
“Yes, mother?”
“What if Daddy Ethan is not only your father...I mean…”
“Ha?” He looked at me with his eyes, confused, while trying to think of what I just about to ask, “Shouldn’t we only have one daddy?”
“Yes, but what if you have another dad...like…”
“Are you talking about Mattel?” He asked and I didn’t expect that.
“How did you know about that?” I blinked. I didn’t even tell him about Mattel because he was dead before having the chance to meet him.
“Daddy Ethan told me about it. And, I heard the staff in the office talking about Mattel saying you married him and then he died.”
“What else did they talk about?” I asked. Damn! People still know about that. Well, it’s hard to forget that because we shook the whole world with that event. Until now, a lot of people still remember Mattel.
“That you cheated on him with Daddy Ethan that is why you have me...and they even told me that before Daddy Ethan you were…” He sighed. “Nothing, mother. Let's just rest. You need rest.” He held my wrist.
“Tell me…” I stopped him. “What did they tell you or what did you hear from them?”
“It’s nothing, mother. I am sure that it is not true, so let’s not talk about it. Please?”
I sighed. “You have to be honest with me. I promise I will not get mad, just tell me.”
“Then, is it true…” He paused. “That you were Uncle Gray’s ex-fiancee?”
I fell into silence for a moment before I nodded. There’s no point in lying right now because I am sure that he will know the truth son. Gray will never sit tight until he was sure that Sae already knows everything.
“Why did you marry Mattel?”
Before I could answer, I heard a knock on the door and without permission, Gray went inside.
“I’ll tell it to you some other time,” I smiled at him before turning to Gray. “What are you doing here, Gray?”
“I bought some popcorn. Would you like to watch a movie with me, Sae?”
Sae shook his head and I smiled when he finally said no because I thought he would agree. They are getting closer now, which should be great, still...I know that it will not be easy for Sae to accept the truth.
“Mom is not feeling well, so we need to rest.” He held my hand. “Sorry, but can we do it next time?”
Gray stared at me and I noticed that he was checking what’s wrong with me. He then smiled and nodded as he moved to open the door for us. He didn’t say anything, but just looked at me again.
I didn’t bother waiting for him to say a thing and just followed Sae in his room because he doesn’t want me to stay in my own room for now. Ethan then came walking towards us before we entered the room.
Since we are pretending to be a couple…well, yeah…soon to get married, we stayed in one room, Ethan’s room, although for now…we might stay with Sae’s room.
“Dad, can you just stay with us tonight?”
“Sure…” Ethan lowered his body to kiss Sae. “I’ll go take a shower first, then I’ll follow.”
“Have you eaten?”
“Yes.” He smiled at me. “I’ll go get some of my clothes. Okay?”
I fell asleep. It didn’t take much long for me to fall asleep. I must be really tired that I hadn’t noticed it. My whole energy felt draining faster than usual. This lie is really making me tired.
It was around one when I woke up. Sae and Ethan were sleeping soundly beside me. I tried my best not to wake them up until I left the room. I felt the coldness of the night as I walked towards the balcony. I really don’t know what I am going to do, but I just want some fresh air.
I was already standing there for a minute when I decided to just visit the library. I could no longer sleep and the library is the closest place where I can brew some coffee. Their mansion is really too big for me.
I come from a well-off family, too, and I guess I never like big houses because they make me sad knowing that even though it was big...it’s not home at all. I felt it too in this house, it’s not their home. After everything that happened between the brothers, I know that they are just here for the sake of their grandfather and I will always hate myself because I am one of the reasons why they don’t get along. I hope soon, they will find their way to each other again.
I think what's good about being an architect is that I can build people a home of their desire. That’s the reason why my mother pursued this career, too. It’s ironic how I can also build a home for other people but couldn’t build my own.
I gently opened the door to the library. It’s a huge one, almost covering the second floor with a lot of books, and a space for architectural stuff. There’s also a loft inside where there’s some space stuff like a telescope.
I went directly to the side to make some coffee. I started doing it for a minute when someone spoke. I automatically dropped the stirring spoon upon realizing it was Gray.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, shocked. My eyes widened as he dropped the book on his side. I hadn't even noticed that he was lying on the couch. I am really occupied with a lot of things.
"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" He raised his brow.
"Uh." I looked the other way. "I want some coffee."
"Can you make me some, too?"
"Sure." I nodded and turned my back on him, afraid that we are now here together…alone.
"How's Sae?" He asked.
"He is sleeping with Ethan." I simply replied.
"When are you going to tell him about me?" I felt his presence behind me. I held the spoon tighter as my heart was already beating so fast.
He's still giving me the same effect just like before. He is indeed Gray…the love of my life.
"Give me some time. I'll tell…"
"You're lying. Aren't you?"
"I know. I am lying that is why - -"
"You are not marrying Ethan." He cut me which made me stop. He's right. I really don't have any intention of marrying Ethan, but there is no way I am going to admit it.
"Don't you think Sae will forgive you for lying to him? You and Ethan isn't even a couple to begin with."
I bit my lower lip and sighed before I turned to him. I was taken aback when I realized we are so close to each other now. I could even smell his mint breath.
"Gray…" I closed my eyes and gathered all my strength to push him away, but even that simple gesture makes me weak.
"I will make this right."
"How?"
"I'll tell him the truth, okay?" I nodded. "Can you wait? Just wait…"
"How am I going to wait when my own child wants you to marry my brother? Do you think I can wait?" He's furious.
His veins were already showing behind his forehead and I could feel how mad he is, that if only he could hurt people, I'll be the first one he'll hurt.
"Wow!" I scoffed. "Really? You have the nerve to get mad at me now?"
"You gave me reason to!" He yelled with his eyes darkening as he walked towards me until he already pinned me to the wall.
I slapped him. I have been dying to do that and it felt so satisying now.
"You were the first one who gave me reason to!"
"You left me! You married Mattel!"
"You cheated on me!" I shouted as my shoulder started thrusting up and down.
I felt like exploding any minute as I crumpled in pain. I thought I don't have any hatred left in my heart and I have forgiven him…but I was wrong. I still hate him. I hate him that I don't want him to get close with my son…his own son.
"What?" He raised his brow. "I cheated? Were you the one who did it first?"
"Don't act like you are innocent, Gray!" I glared at him. "Do you know the reason why I don't want you to find out about Sae?" I bit my lower lip as I sighed.
"It's because of Vivian!" I screamed. "Vivian…it's because of her that...that I left you."
He was confused. I could see how his expression changes, trying to think what he did. Now, he is being naive. Seriously? He couldn't remember that now?
"What did you say? Vivian…why Vivian? What did Vivian tell you?"
"It's not what Vivian told me. It's about what you did with Vivian. Aren't you still together? You have a child with her, too. And, I don't know what's up with the two of you…but what will happen to Sae after knowing that - -"
"Wait!" He stopped me. "A child with Vivian…" He paused as he shook his head. "You heard that…"
"Yeah." I nodded. "I was there, Gray. I was there when - -"
"It's not my kid." He clarified. "It's not mine. It was someone's kid and - -"
"You are still together. She called you before and it's amazing how you left me with that phone call."
"She was in the hospital at that time, so she needs me…"
"And, I don't need you?" I scoffed and tears started to flow from my eyes. "Do you think I don't need you and she needs you? Is that it?"
"Deanara, that's not it. We are not together. It's the first time - -"
"No! I don't want to hear it again!" I stopped him. "You don't have to explain, Gray. I saw what I saw. You even have pictures with her…doing what? You are fucking her while you are still with me!"
"What? No! I will never do that!" He denied. Here we are again, he's lying.
"I could admit that I fucked her while she was with Ethan, but I never did it again when I was with you. I love you and I still do…believe me…" He sounded hopeful. "Please…I'm sorry…"
"Gray…" I shook my head. I pulled my phone from my pocket and showed it to him the proof that I had kept for years in case this happens.
"Look! Do you think I am lying now?"
He raised his brow as he stared at the picture of him with Vivian, both naked…and probably done fucking.
"Now, are you still going to lie?"
"I am not lying." He shook his head. "I was drunk. I was set-up."
I smirked. "But, still you hide the fact to me that you were with Vivian. And, hasn't this been our problem since then?"
"Deanara…please…"
"I am tired to be there for you when you have always been there for Vivian." I shook my head and wiped my tears.
He tried to hold me, but I pushed him away.
"I am tired, Gray…of me putting myself in a situation where I have to understand that you guys know each other since then."
"Deanara. I swear we don't have anything to do with each other now."
"I don't care, Gray…whether you have a thing or not." I shoved him away and started walking. "I don't want any business with you, Gray. If it weren't for Sae's father…I won't be talking to you now."
"I love you, Deanara."
"It's already too late for that, Gray." I sadly smiled. "So, let's just leave the past behind."
"How about Sae? Do you want him to grow up without a complete family?"
"He has Ethan…and honestly…he doesn't need you anymore."
I looked at him one last time before I dropped the most hurtful words I could tell him, "We don't need you anymore."