Deanara Samaniego's POV
“What’s your plan?” Ethan laughed after I told him what his brother and I had talked about the other day.
This is really getting out of hand. Sae started asking questions about me and Gray from what he heard from the people around us and it's quite disturbing. I know he now has an idea about Gray…and he would probably ask me soon. Damn! This needs to stop.
“Why not just tell him the truth?”
Tell him? Duh! He should know it!
“I told him the truth why I left!” I scoffed. Seriously, I told Gray and he didn’t even believe me…Well, that is not the right word for that. Rather, he continued to lie to me.
I showed him the picture and he told me that he was set-up. I get it. It might be the case, but come on…it's lame. It's super lame considering the fact that he was with Vivian. He should have told me. He lied to me. How can I trust him again? Duh! I am protecting my heart now.
“Should we continue what we are doing?” He added when I didn’t answer him. "Let's get married for real?"
Oh, right. About that...shit! I almost forget that. They are preparing for our wedding. And, it was my fault again. Okay, what to do?
"Should we do it?"
Ethan smiled at me. "Not a problem for me. I don't know about you and Gray…"
I sighed.
"I don't know now."
I shrugged as I continued sipping my latte while looking outside the coffee stop, observing people.
Sae was actually with his grandfather, so I had enough time to be with myself and think. I'm starting to get busy with our company. And, I am back to writing now.
Since Gray and I parted ways, I started writing again. I don't know about him because I never checked his account again. I need something that will calm my mind because Gray hadn’t left it since the first time I met him again. It’s not like he left at all. He never left, not even in my heart. I am just trying my best not to fall for him again and hurt myself. I am not yet sure about him. What if he is lying again?
Well, he is lying. I hate how my mind is still trying to protect him when I know the truth.
“You need to go with me to Cebu!” I demanded Ethan. “You need to help me.” I remembered.
Ugh! Why do I need to go? I really hate this. My mother had agreed for me to work with their company and our first project will be in Cebu. Ethan cannot come with me since he has a lot of meetings that he needs to attend to which includes international projects. And, his father just requested Gray to oversee the project while Ethan is away.
It looks like they are trying to do something. Seriously? I am pretty sure they know that Sae's father is Gray. It's very obvious. And, I am proud to say that I am not Vivian…and perhaps they know that. They know that I cannot really cheat. A part of me is happy because I am sure that Gray knows that I could never cheat on him.
He raised his hands up and shook his head. “As much as I wanted to, I will be taking over the work that Gray left. But, I can visit you to tease my brother and make him jealous.” He grinned. Wow, what a nice idea.
"I want to continue the wedding to make him even more mad." He added.
“You are not funny.” I scowled as I rolled my eyes.
Here I am thinking of telling Sae right now, but I think I have to make sure if he was telling the truth. I guess I might see his performance while we are there in Cebu.
Gosh! It's for a month which gives me enough time to still explain to Sae everything…like everything...because it would postpone our agreement. Okay, that's an advantage. I am not sure if Gray will like it, but nevermind. At least, I have an alibi now.
I focused on my laptop and think for another scene, but Gray is now filling my whole mind that I could no longer think of something else. Wah! I should stop thinking about him now. This isn't helping me at all.
"He told me it's not real…" I sighed. "Should I believe in him?"
"Maybe he is telling the truth." Ethan said, not sure. "Vivian is so obsessed with him, so maybe…" He paused. "I really don't know. You see, I left Vivian for that, too."
Yeah, right. We decided to have revenge on them by leaving them without saying anything. A part of me regretted that I didn't let him explain, but it was too late now.
My heart is now full of hatred and I just don't know how to remove it. Everytime I felt like trusting him again…there will be another moment that will ruin it. What does it means? Does it mean I should not trust him again?
I want to for the sake of Sae, however, Gray is not really helping at all. He has a lot of things that he is still keeping away from me. How are we going to work?
Still, it doesn't erase the fact that he is my son's father.
Fine! Fine! What the fuck! I am now contradicting what's inside my mind and this is not great. I am going crazy again!
“I heard it and I saw it. You saw the pictures. Do you want to see it again?” I glared at him. “I can show it to you. Now, you are telling me that maybe Gray is telling the truth."
He rolled his eyes and sadly looked at me. He also doesn't know which means that Vivian is the only one who can answer that.
"He's still talking to Vivian," I told Ethan.
Ethan shrugged. Looking at him, I am sure that he doesn't have any feelings with Vivian. I don't know how I can say that, but it was evident in his eyes, unlike me that a mere sight of Gray will make me thrilled. Damn it! I should learn how to move on from Ethan.
“What happened to Vivian?”
I never asked him that after what happened because I know that it was so painful for him like it was so painful to me, either. Now, I can ask. After all, she is the reason why we are all suffering. Ugh! I hate her!
“I don’t know. I never talked to her. You should ask Gray.” He teased me and I scowled.
“Let’s forget about it.” I changed the topic and ate some strawberry cake. “I need to unwind and clear my mind before I go to Cebu.” I pouted.
"Take care of Sae, okay? I cannot bring him in there, so just make sure to visit us. I cannot believe he chose you over me."
Ethan chuckled as he brushed my hair. "He really likes me and I'll be really sad when the time comes that he will no longer calls me Daddy."
"I'll be sad, too." I hugged Ethan. "I am so sorry for giving you so much hardwork and for taking care of us all these years."
"It's my pleasure." He kissed the top of my head. "All I want is for you to be happy."
"How can I repay you?"
He pinched my cheeks. "Follow your heart, Deanara."
"It's broken…"
"Then, let the person who broke it heal it. I don't want you to have any regrets, okay?"
I nodded. "Thank you, Ethan."
"Of course."
"You know that I love you, right?"
He smiled. "I love you, too."
I hugged him. He's really been a big help in my life for the past years.
"How about this, Deanara? I am going to prepare for the wedding…and I'll do it according go your plan. And, right when you come back…if you feel like marrying me then marry me…if not…marry Gray."
"Why do I feel like you have something to do with this? Did you purposely put me and Gray in one place?"
He grinned. "Be happy, okay?"
I rolled my eyes. "Like I said, I need to do something to clear my mind! What should I do?"
“Clear your mind there.” Ethan replied.
“You are not helping.” I rolled my eyes.
He laughed and moved his chair close to me and hugged me. I leaned my head on his shoulder as he massaged my hands. It’s what he usually does whenever I am stressed and I come to like it.
“What do you want? I’ll buy you anything.” Ethan said.
“Hmmm…I want a house and a lot.” I joked.
“I’ll build a house for you.” He answered.
We both turned to our backs when someone spoke.
“I can build you a home.”
It’s Gray. His gaze turned to my hands that Ethan was holding. Ethan, knowing what to do, teased him more by pulling me close to him and even kissed the top of my head.
“Too late. We’re getting married. Have your forgotten about that? You are my best man." Ethan teased him.
What the? I cannot believe this.
I could see the lines in Gray's forehead. Is he jealous? Okay. I really doubt his every move and I hate it. I want to trust him again, but I just can't.
Gray smirked.
“Are you sure about that? I might steal her from you.”
Ethan laughed that even made Gray furious.
“I don’t think you can.”
“I did with Vivian. What made you think I cannot do it?”
There you go. That’s my confirmation. I already know it but it still hurts. I don’t even know what to believe now. Maybe it was his ego that is why he wanted to get me back. We hurted his ego again and he wanted to pay back to satisfy himself. Now, I am doubting everything again. What does he really want?
“She’s not Vivian.”
Gray titled his head and shrugged. What, now? Is he really thinking that I am like Vivian? Damn him! He was the one who cheated!
“What do you need?” I directly asked. “Leave us alone if you don’t have anything to say.”
“We’ll leave in two hours so I hope you have already prepared everything you need.” He said and left.
"Wait, what?" It only occured to me what he said.
“He still loves you,” Ethan whispered.
“I doubt that.” I replied.
“I could see it.”
“I no longer want to believe it.” I told Ethan hoping he would drop the topic.
“You didn’t let him explain,” He clicked his tongue like it was my fault that I didn’t let him explain so I was miserable right now.
I am not miserable. I am happy but it wasn’t like the happiness I felt when I was with Gray. I am really happy during those times I was with him. I felt like it was a dream come true. And, now, I’ve woken up from the dream. Not all our expectations will turn into reality.
“What to explain? I’ve seen and heard it. Am I going to repeat this again?”
“You didn’t give him the benefit of doubt.”
I rolled my eyes and glared at Ethan.
“Why are we talking about these things?”
He smiled and shrugged as he sipped his latte.
“I am just saying that you can give it a try again,” Ethan stated. “You still love him, right? Maybe this is a second chance for you to be both happy again.”
“I don’t want to stay in a relationship full of doubts.” I shook my head. “I just don’t want to compromise my peace of mind even though I love him.”
Ethan looked at me and sighed. “Will you be okay with him? You cannot pretend forever. We cannot pretend --”
I rolled my eyes, not wanting to listen.
“I am letting you know that you can try again. You can give yourself a second chance. Happiness is a choice, Deanara, so I hope you will always choose to be happy.”
I smiled at Ethan and placed my head on his shoulder to comfort him. I know he was still sad about Vivian.
“Do you still love Vivian?” I whispered and he shook his head.
“There’s still love, but no...it’s no longer the kind of love that I want to stay.” He sighed. “For now, I’ll be single and let things flow.”
“Me too.” I chuckled.
“Okay.” He hugged me. “Let’s be single together, hon.”
We both laughed at it. I was really grateful to have him by my side.
"And, let's make Sae happy together."