Deanara Samaniego’s POV
“It’s okay. You don’t need to come with me." Ethan stopped me from packing our things. I was already filling all Sae's things that he'd probably look when we leave the place. Also, I packed Sae's favorite toys and some of my clothes. I don't want to get all my things because I still have a lot of things back home and I can just buy another clothes since most of the clothes I am using here doesn't actually fit the weather in the Phillipines.
"I'll be okay. And, you don't need to adjust just because I have a problem." He shook his head and he felt sorry for causing me so much trouble. He stopped me from packing again as he tried to talk me out of this. I made up my mind. It's not easy but I already thought about this.
Well, it's not trouble for me. He's my friend. And, Sae would probably get sad knowing Ethan will leave us to go back to the Philippines. Ethan has been the father of Sae for five years. He took good care of us and treated us like his family. Honestly, if Ethan would propose…I'd probably say yes.
"Ethan. You are my friend. Okay?" I pulled my bag from him and continued packing but he was to stubborn that he gave it back to the shelf. "You've been here with me all these years. This is nothing compared to all the love and care you have given Sae."
Ethan sighed. He pulled me closer and hugged me. "You don't have to do this." His voice broke. I felt the warmth of his embrace.
I smiled at him. "It's okay, Ethan. Finland is getting boring for me. I missed our hometown."
"Deanara. I am going back to the Philippines. And, I don't know for how long. Do you want to stay there, too?" He looks concerned. He's still trying to convince not to go back with him.
I thought about it when he first told me that he'll be going back to the Philippines to take care of their company. It was the wish and prayer of his grandfather who's sick in bed. It was a shock for the both of us because his grandfather has always been healthy. Little did they know, he was suffering from an illness and he just kept it from them. Their company had grown and expanded for the last year and they wanted him back to take care of it because Gray can't just handle everything since I heard he was also handling his airline. Although, their father was there...Ethan needs to go back. He is the heir to that company after all.
I could see that he doesn't want to go. He's now okay with his life now, with me. We bought a building in Helsinki. We turned the last floor into our home and the other forms as business establishment. We opened up a restaurant and also a coffee shop. We lived a simple life for five years in Finland, and probably this is the best decision I ever made in my life. I found peace and happiness in this small country. People are also very welcoming even though we are not from their country. Sae was also happy with his friends here and he enjoyed the coldness of this place.
However, I know that nothing is permanent and eventually we have to go back to the Philippines. Yes, life he is good and we already have adjusted but there are a lot of things we left behind in the Philippines. And, running from things won't get us far. I just didn't expect it would be this soon. After all, I also need to manage our company because my mother is getting older as time goes by. And, our company also expanded. I cannot run away from things and Sae needs to be familiar with the place where we came from. I cannot hide him in this place forever. The truth will come in time. But, I hope things will be a lot different. I hope there will be no pain this time. Jusg forgiveness. It's been years. I don't know what to expect, but I hope we heal from our mistakes. And, time had already healed us.
"You know what happened the last time we were in the Philippines." He reminded me. "And, you know that…"
I cut him.
"Ethan. That was five years ago. And, I can't just forever hide here in Finland. Sae's also growing and at least I want him to find home in our hometown. I also want to check our company. And, my friends. Lyuna is also there. And, I missed the country."
"Is it the country that you missed or…"
"Ethan…" I warned him. "We're over. You know how much pain he'd cause me."
"How about Sae? What are you going to do if he finds out?"
"Well, I could just say you are his father. You guys looked a like. And, Sae had known you as his father for years."
"Aren't you going to tell him the truth? Are you going to let him live with the lie?" Ethan asked me. "You see, I enjoyed being his father. I love him like my own kid and I am even willing to marry you if you would say yes…"
"I'll say yes," I honestly replied. There is no reason for me to say no to Ethan. He's been with me for years and I know he'll take care of the both of us. And, I learned to love him through those years. Not as much as I love Gray…but maybe we coukd work it out.
"Clearly, it would be unfair for my brother. You know that?"
"He cheated on me. Why are you still thinking about him? Why are you siding with him?" I clicked my tongue. "He gave me so much pain. And, he was also the reason why you are in pain. Vivian caused it, too. Did you already forgive them?"
"Deanara, I am just saying that he is still Gray's son. He made a mistake. And, I never said that you will accept him again. I am just saying that he deserves to know." Ethan sighed. "Come on! You're not that heartless. Sae will eventually--"
"Not now, Ethan?" I shook my head. "As much as possible, I don't want him to get involved with Gray again. So, let's just continue this."
"How do you intend to end this, Deanara?" Ethan asked me again. He leaned on the wall, crossed his arms, waiting for me to say something.
I tried to clearly think, to find the words right for this moment. But, I couldn't. Ethan was right. Eventually, Sae will know that Ethan is his father and he would probably hate me for lying. He would hate Ethan and for sure he won't accept Gray as his father. It would be chaos.
But, can they blame me if I am protecting myself again. If I am protecting Sae from his own father because he hurt me so much. Can they blame me if I don't want Gray to know about his son. What for? Is he going to accept Sae? What happens with him and Vivian? I heard they have a son. Again, it would be chaos. I no longer want to deal with such chaos.
"We can marry each other," I suggested.
"I love you, Deanara. It's for real." Ethan stated. "I could feel you love me, too. But I also know…" He paused and sadly smiled. "That it isn't as much as how you love my brother. So, don't say that because if you marry me…I will never let you be with Gray. And, I don't want to regret choosing me."
Ethan kissed my forehead and hugged me. "Deanara. I want you to think." He whispered to me. "Think of the future. Think of Sae. He deserves to know."
"I am not ready…" I whispered. I bit my lower lip to stop myself from crying. "I am not ready."
"Don't worry, I am here with you." He tightened his grip as he embraced me. "I am allowing you to go with me. But, we need to have some plan. Okay? What happens when you meet Gray? And, Sae? He'll know."
"You'll look like Sae," I said.
"When he was a toddler, but now…" Ethan shook his head. "He looked exactly as Gray when he was young."
"Your brother," I argued. "You have the same genes."
"Oh. Come on! Gray is not dumb. He'll know and he will feel it."
I heaved.
"Let's think about it when we are already there. Okay?" I walked towards the closet. "I already told our caretaker. He'll know what to do here. And, don't worry…Sae and I will go back here after you settle your stuff."
"I am not sure about that, Deanara." He said seriously.
"Nah. Don't worry. Our building here is in good hands. We'll visit here often. And, I also need to go to Spain. So...how about you help me with our things so we can be ready for our flight?"
"Thank you!" He smiled at me.
"Thank you," I replied.
We spend another day at our home in Finland to give way of all the things that we need to do and things that we should settle. I also gave Sae the chance to say goodbye to his friends. He may start the school in the Philippines since it would take time before we go back in here. I am not also sure.
He was bittersweet. He's sad for leaving the life he had made here and happy because he can explore another country. He's like Gray. He even wanted to become a pilot. And, as time goes by…he's becoming a lot of his father that I don't know how to deny him anymore. I just hope Gray and I will not see each other. I don't know what to do.
Ethan directly went to the Philippines while Sae and I went to Spain first to visit my mother and my father. Of course, they missed their grandson. Although, they are still not okay with my decisions and my choices…I am happy that they showed love and care to my son. Sae was also so happy to meet my parents since it's been years when we last saw each other. I felt guilty because it's my fault and it was because of me that my parents are still managing our business when they are suppose to be resting.
Ugh! My mind is still not into it. Although, I cannot avoid it so I told them that I would just manage all our projects in the Philippines. Maybe, that's where I am going to open up the main building fot our projects around Asia. We expanded again. Gosh! This is giving me a headache.
"Can we not merge it with Ethan?" I sighed. And, that's when I realized I should not mention Ethan and anyone in his family because my mother still hates them, especially Gray. Well, she doesn't hate Ethan because for the past years she saw how Ethan took good care of me. It was really Gray that she hated. And, I cannot blame my mother. Gray cheated on me. She is just protecting me.
She just doesn't want me to get involved with their family, so merging our company is the last thing that will happen.
"What did Gray's father do to you, mother?" I asked. I have been asking her for the last year but she isn't answering me.
"He hurt me."
"Oh. Would that mean you had a relationship together?"
She sighed. "You really won't let go of this, right?" She crossed her arms as she watched me waiting for the words she'll going to say.
"Yeah. Because I think I deserve to know why you don't agree with Gray. Although, he cheated on me. Well, as for Ethan. Did he prove that he is worthy?"
"Their father was my first love."
I wasn't surprised at all because I felt that. Why would they hurt each other, right?
He cheated on me. He fucking cheated on me with Vivian. He should have said in the first place that he doesn't want me. That he wanted Vivian back then at least we could all be fine together. And, what if I didn't learn about it. Would that mean he's going to hide it forever? See? I hate him. And, I could never understand him.
"He cheated on you?" I asked.
She nodded. "He did."
My mother just smiled at me and I decided not to ask about it anymore because that would just make her sad and I just want to forget the past.
"How long are you going to stay here?" My mother asked. "Is Sae already sleeping?"
I nodded. "We'll be flying back to the Philippines by next week. Do you have any updates with regards to our branch in Manila?"
"Everything is ready. They are all waiting for you."
"Thank you, mother." I smiled at her.
"What is your plan with regards to Sae?" She asked. "Are you going to hide him from his father? I hated Gray…but he definitely deserves to know that it's Gray and not Ethan. You are making this complicated and you are starting a fight between the two brothers again."
I sighed. "I don't know, mother. Should I tell it to Gray?"
"Whatever you decide, Deanara. You're grown-up now. And, yeah…I hate Gray. But, what can I do? You have a son with him and I don't want my grandson to grow up with lies."
"I'm sorry, mother."
"Think about it," she leaned closer to hug me. "I am here for you."
I nodded. "Thank you, mother."
Sae and I spend another week at Spain to settle things with regards to our company. And, so he could have some time with his grandparents. He was so excited about going to the Philippines and I don't know if I would be happy about it.
"Mom!" Sae called. "Daddy Ethan isn't calling me yet. Is he busy?"
I checked my watch. "You know how the time is different from here and in the place where he is, right?"
Sae pouted. "We should hurry up then! I am so excited to see him!"
"Yes, dear. Our flight will be tomorrow." I pinched his cheeks. "So, I want you to sleep early. Will you do that for me and I promise I will call you as soon as your Daddy Ethan calls."
"Will you not be sleeping?"
I shook my head. "Mom needs to sign some papers first. Come!" I held his tiny hands. "I'll tuck you to bed."
Sae eventually fell asleep and I went back to my office to sign some papers. There are a lot of pending projects and I have to settle the bids when I come back to Manila.
The next day, it was our flight going to Manila. We were on a business plane and instead of enjoying it, I brought a lot of papers with me. Sae was so cooperative and behaved the whole flight so I don't have any problem.
It was already seven in the evening when we reached the airport. Ethan was supposed to pick us, but I couldn't see a trace of him yet. Maybe he was stuck in the traffic.
"Let's grab some coffee, Sae." I told my son. "We'll wait for your Daddy Ethan at the coffee shop."
"Okay!" He said as he looked around, observing the place. It was his first time coming in here that is why he was making himself familiar with the surroundings.
"Where is he?" Sae happily and excitedly asked. "I missed him." He pouted.
"Hey! Hey! Don't run!" I stopped him as he started jogging towards the coffee shop. I know I couldn't stop my son from being excited and so I let him.
I picked up my phone and texted Ethan to meet us at the coffee shop without removing my sight to my son.
Sae stopped and turned around…and he was moving so fast that he didn't notice that someone was in front of him.
He bumped into a man standing next to the glass door.
Damn! Why now?
Why here?
Is destiny really playing with me?